I think I’m going mad

[dcj]

I feel like I’m going crazy. Everyday I feel ILL to my stomach with worry about something or other. I’ve always been a bit of an overthinker but it’s progressively got worse over the years. My husband said since we had a 2nd trimester pregnancy loss it’s got worse and worse.

I am losing sleep. I feel sick. Sometimes I can’t pin it to something. Other times I take a situation and worry to the point I’m in tears. I found myself
doing 63 in a 60 yesterday and thought about it for hours. I’ve bought concert tickets for friends today which we all chipped in for and I’ve got in my head they’re disappointed with the seats I picked so now I’m thinking about buying more seats. I keep worrying I’ll lose my job or get arrested for something even though I’ve done nothing wrong.

i am scared to talk to anyone in case they think I’m crazy and can’t look after my children. My husband says “just stop worrying”. I WISH I COULD

I am EXHAUSTED

I think seeing your GP and getting a referral to a mental health professional would be really good for you OP.

How old are you? I found i got anxious in peri-menopause. Whatever the cause, start by talking to your GP.

You don't say how long you've felt this way. If it's only been as bad as this for a short time, then perhaps investigate some self help measures first. If it's been going on a long time, perhaps better to get to your GP. As for what things to try, you might want to think about Buteyko. If possible best to find a practitioner, but if not there are some guidelines on the internet. Exercising might help if you're able to schedule some in. You say you're losing sleep. Best not to focus on this, since it can make it worse. Instead, try to see bedtime as an opportunity to have no demands on you and nothing to do but relax. If sleep isn't coming, read for a while. Sleep's more likely to come if you don't worry about it. Be nice to yourself and congratulate yourself each time you manage to stop worrying, even if just for 10 mins. Treat yourself well and have some special treats. Remember loads of people are struggling with anxiety, even if they don't show it, so try not to compare yourself with those you think are calm and in control.

This is anxiety. For whatever reason, your brain is going into a protective overdrive, trying to keep you safe and searching desperately for something to latch that feeling onto. It’s not rational, even if it feels like it must be.

please go to your dr. My sister, my DH, my sister in law, my FIL have all struggled with this at different times - it’s really common. Medication can help, it can be treated. Sometimes you need help to switch it off.

Please see your GP.

I am so sorry. Anxiety is horrible. I had it years ago. I had CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy). And it helped immensely.

I think I have always been like this to some degree but the last few years have been just awful. It’s not new or temporary this is just who I am. I don’t even know what to say - I’m scared they’ll think I’m wasting their time as I don’t know how to articulate how I feel. And if I DO manage to tell them I don’t want them to think I can’t cope. I can. I have been. I don’t even know what help I need or what I want them to do. I just want to think like a normal person thinks

i relate to so much of this, from thinking i ll get arrested to being found incompetent at my job.

lately, i had to track the physical copy of my degree because i had convinced myself that i had imagined it and was in my role without qualification. I m also convinced i don't pay enough tax (despite our accountant saying it s all fine) and spent time talking to the hmrc phone line people last month.

It sounds bonkers, but in the moment it sounds absolutely warranted and reasonable.

I have propranolol, the headspace app, and unopened boxes of sertraline... for me it started after the birth of DC2, and got massively amplified by peri (with hrt not helping much).

it s so debilitating, and i often wonder if u m the only one in my line of work struggling that much

Sorry - I’m 34 - forgot to say that in my earlier post.

after my child was born (after my loss) I think that when it spiralled. I wouldn’t go in the car for ages because I was terrified we would crash.

I make videos when I leave the house to remind myself I’ve definitely turned taps off and locked doors. This is getting out of hand. I just want to stop feeling so on edge

You’re not going mad. You’ve got anxiety, which is shitty but fixable. See your GP - Sertraline is a very good drug.

This sounds like generalised anxiety disorder possibly OP? I’ve had it and it’s hard. CBT really helped me too and I've got much better. A questionnaire like the GAD-7 may help you articulate it - https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/1727/gad7-general-anxiety-disorder7 - it’s often used for screening. You can often self refer to talking therapy if you haven’t tried that? All the best to you.

I'm so sorry - sounds like anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I don't think you have to accept this is 'who you are' - cognitive behavioural therapy, for example, can help with this kind of thing.

Working through the Feeling Good Handbook by Dr David Burns could be a good start. It helps put these sorts of thoughts in context and make them less scary/all-encompassing.

I forgot to ask - how old are your children? If under 1 you might benefit from the perinatal paychiatry team which your GP could refer you to x

Hello OP. Nobody can diagnose over the internet, and I am not medically qualified, but I think some of the things you describe are considered symptoms of OCD, particularly the intrusive worries that you’ll be arrested for something you haven’t done, and the checking before you leave home that you’ve turned everything off.

Make a GP appointment and tell them what you’ve said here (print it out or read it off the screen if necessary) and they’ll pick up on it. OCD is actually common, and nobody is going to think you’re mad or unable to parent even if you do have it. They would only be thinking that way if you were a danger to your children, and it’s clear that your problems are making you more careful, not less. The only time you’d be harming them is if you don’t get the help that’s available to get well and get your family life back to something more normal.

Please take care of yourself and get the help you deserve.

Sounds like GAD. Lots of people have it, they don’t take children who are perfectly safe. They don’t even take children who are a bit unsafe! And anyway social services have no access to your GP record. They may offer you some medication to help.

This sounds like anxiety 😕 you're not going mad, you just need some treatment and help managing your anxiety. Please don't continue to suffer without help. Make an appointment with your GP and go and tell them how you're feeling. Write down what you have written here and take it with you. I promise you that your GP will not think you're wasting their time, anxiety is a mental health condition and it is treatable. It's also extremely common and your GP won't be surprised or judge you for how you're feeling.

I have this. Exact same and it’s made me very poorly mentally and physically at certain points in the last 13 years. I have been told it’s OCD and anxiety. I am currently having weekly CBT. I am avoiding triggers, trying to sleep well and looking at changing my employment as it triggers my obsessive worrying and OCD. My heart goes out to you, it’s very painful and debilitating. I tried sertraline but it didn’t suit me at all. I take beta blockers for my racing heart. Please see your GP or dependant on your area you might me able to self refer to your closest mental health team. Sending a massive hug.

OP, reading this should make you see you’ve got a common, if extremely unpleasant, treatable condition. But if you’re scared by it, that’s the anxiety talking.

Anxiety and intrusive thoughts are nothing to be frightened of - ho ho. Meds and therapy will make your life back to normal in as little as a few weeks. Honestly, you’ll be yourself again in the foreseeable.

You don't need to think in advance what you will say. I remember when I saw my counsellor, I felt she would not understand, but she did.

I have OCD. I have had it all my life but it got very bad in my mid teens, mid twenties abd early thirties. Then I saw the counsellor. Honestly, I can relate to checking doors, and feeling like you are going mad.

There is help out there.

I am so sorry for your loss too.

This was me. Sertraline saved me. Please go to your GP and get help, anxiety is truly awful and you don't have to live like this x

You mentioned your second-trimester pregnancy loss, I’m so sorry. That’s an incredibly hard thing to go through.
I’d recommend calling your doctor first. In my experience they really do listen. I was surprised when mine listened to me going on about my problems for about 10 minutes. Depending on where you are in the UK, they can also refer you for talking therapy if you feel that would help.

They won't think you're wasting their time and I don't think they'll think you can't cope. And it doesn't matter even if they think that because you know you can cope.

Please, please go to your GP and get some help. I suffered for years with anxiety and it got to the point where I felt like I was going mad as my brain got stuck in loops - stupid things like I would have to check and recheck the car handbrake in case I had left it off. Then I would dash back in the middle of shopping in case the last time I checked I had actually taken it off and it had rolled over a child. 😮 It was awful. My dr put me on a low dose of anti-anxiety medicine and the difference has been amazing. I can still feel anxious but my brain doesn't grab hold of the thoughts and obsess. This means I have more energy to do things that I know will help like exercise. It was so exhausting before and I wish I had sought help earlier.

I find meds a bit scary. I’m so so conscious of being aware of dangers with the kids etc and worry meds will make me unaware of these dangers and then put them in danger?

I feel crazy saying the things I’m saying as now I’m calm after a sleep and can rationalise (slightly!!!!) I know how silly some of my thoughts are. But in that moment (or the days in some cases) I just can’t see a way out

The best option may be medication and talking therapies. The pills just help you be level and calm so you can work on your thoughts.

I know what you mean but they shouldn't affect your judgement at all. I just feel more "normal", more me.

Please see the GP. Do t be afraid of medication - it is a literal lifesaver for so many. It got me out of spiralling anxiety just like you describe. You can't diagnose over the internet but have a read of the Mind website, there is some great info on there including how to help someone with anxiety which your DH could read.