My father was an alcoholic who hated me. My mother was a narcissist who didn't care about her children except one , as long as she still had my father. She was obsessed with him not leaving her, he didn't really want to be with her. She had us children to try and keep him. He didn't want us. He hit us and was downright cruel. I dont mean just a slap I mean beat us and was verbally very cruel too. We had nothing as he drank all the money. Mum had to go to work because we had no money. Father blamed us children especially me. Grew up knowing we were hated, mum gaslighted us into believing we were a normal family and other fathers were not normal. We had to lie to the schools, Dr's etc that we were all happy. People thought my mum was a saint as she put with us children. We were being beaten and bullied at home so we were nervous and a bit disruptive in school. Nothing major just very fidgety and didn't listen. Father was everyone's best friend in the pubs. Mum hit us and was verbally abusive but not as bad. They were always arguing because he wanted to leave and she didn't want him too. They'd both take it out on us kids verbally and physically. Violence didn't stop until I left home.
Put it behind me and I can function well.
However like today everything has just hit me again for no reason. All the memories, the violence and the things that were said and it's like reliving it again. It doesn't happen often but it just suddenly comes out of nowhere and I have 24-48hours where that's all I can think of . I cant sleep , I cant stop crying and I re live parts of it. I've got my life together, it was years ago . It was from as early as I can remember to when I was 17. They've never said sorry or admitted it. When I've brought it up it's basically I either shut up about it or get out. I'm very low contact with them. See them occasionally about twice a year.
Those in a similar situation what do you do ? How do you cope?