How bad do you have to feel before seeking help/stopping work/thinking you may be ill?

[StrippedTowel]

How bad do you think you/someone needs to feel before accepting they may need help?

I have had peaks and troughs of being unwell for about 16 years, when my youngest was born 11 years ago I was admitted to a mother and baby unit. I think I found it easier to access help when I was younger. Now I have a mortgage and a full time job to consider, it's just my children and I without any help so of course it's going to be tough, so I forge on. I feel resentful of myself for feeling this way, I don't want to need time off work. But how bad does it need to get? Each day I want something physical to happen so I can catch my breath, something fixable. Instead I've put on weight, my body is in pain, my joints ache, I can't sleep, my hair is greying and falling out, I'm 38!

Could you take a short time - 1-2 weeks off - to rest and breathe?

It sounds as if some dietary change or supplements might help if you hair is falling out and joints aching do you take vit D, B12 or evening primrose oil (EPO can help with perimeno.) Oily fish or omega 3 supplements also helpful for joint ache.

Hang in there - being a single parent working full time is tough. Strong need to plan regular moments of joy.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I've gone to the doctor to seek help when I've reached the point that my mental health is impacting my day to day life, my usual coping skills aren't working, and I notice my particular warning signs. That's wanting to isolate, not sleeping properly, not enjoying the things I usually enjoy and so on.

I then get prescribed antidepressants and I gradually start feeling better. Once a long time ago I was signed off work for a couple of weeks because the stress from work was compounding the problem.

When you're going through your own peaks and troughs, what do the troughs feel like?

How much is physical and how much mental?

I feel resentful of myself for feeling this way

Imagine your mind is a team of employees, in charge of your emotions and and memories and trying their best to keep you safe and happy, based on the information they've accrued during your life.

You can choose to call them stupid or useless or be angry with them.

Or you can choose to encourage them, value them and praise them, even when things (inevitably) go wrong.

Which approach is going to reap the best results?

I'm parked at the office and struggling to go in. My head feels like its in a vice, everything feels very pressured. I feel on the brink of tears almost all of the time, on my WFH days I will cry multiple times. I bought a house i hate in an area I don't know and isnt nice because we had no choice. My stomach is bad every day. I feel like a total loser, and when people ask me things at work I feel like a complete fraud, but they also know I'm rubbish.

At what point are things just tough, or are you actually unwell?

You’re at the point now x get signed off if money an issue even for a few weeks and work towards making a change somewhere be it work, house etc x sorry you’re going through this … it’s horrible

Give your manager a call, explain that you cannot come into the office today, drive home and make an appointment with your GP. You sound overwhelmed. Your work can manage without you for a few days, weeks, months. Take care of yourself first x

You need to see your GP and tell him/her what's going on. You're not weak, you're reacting to the stress you're under. Things can get better. Right now you need to prioritise your health.

I agree, you're at that point. If you're crying at the thought of forcing yourself to do something (go to work), then something is wrong. Ring manager, say you're going to the GP, you don't know what's wrong.

Thank you. I've gone in the office, I'm just trying to dissociate. My chest is tight, but its like this a lot. I booked a GP appointment yesterday which is in 3 weeks time. I don't know if I'm actually unwell or just circumstances which is what the GP Will say perhaps. I have developed a significant fear about time passing, I think i am somewhat irrational. Its like being stuck on a flying plane and just being able to hold on with your fingertips, I just want to get off. This is no life, driving, cleaning and working thats it. But isn't that the way for lots of people, I can't keep having breakdowns.

Work is impacted in that i am struggling to make even small decisions which is making me take longer on everything, struggling to retain information and feeling shaky when we have to talk about emotive topics (I'm in HR so we do) and I also struggle with the bitchy office politics which also make me shake. Home i am exhausted and just drained.

This is already too much and you should not wait any further for this to worsen. After some time your condition will further get low and that is not great for your health. Getting a therapy soon, taking out time for yourself and paying attention to your health should be your priority at present. You are not old enough to live with these issues for years.

I agree that you need to take some time off work. Can you ask your GP to give you a sick note for a month?

This is bad enough to take time off. You can self-certify for a week.

You should see your GP for advice.