Health anxiety :(

[chronicworrier24]

Iv been suffering with health anxiety for a while now, but it always felt manageable. I had my son 2 years ago, and in the same week of having him my dad got diagnosed with bowel cancer. (Had my son on the Monday and Thursday he got the diagnosis).
I was put on 150mg of sertraline- which I’m still on, but I don’t feel like it’s working? I’m still getting myself in such states, body scanning, seeking reassurance of multiple people throughout each day. I have certain things which I’m most scared off - it’s mainly Cancer. Alongside the sertraline I did CBT therapy, I guess I thought I’d took away parts of what I learnt - but a year down the line it’s like I don’t believe them things anymore. Does anyone have any advice? I feel like it’s ruining my life and I just want to enjoy my son - who is my entire world. My family thing I’m crazy, my partner is sick of me and it feels really lonely.

thanks for reading - if you got this far!!
:)

What was your childhood like? Was there anyone significant to you who was a worrier and/or suffering from illness?

Anxiety is the emotion that tries to predict the future to protect you against threats but, given no one knows what their future holds, it's a fruitless exercise. Hypnotherapy can be helpful for all types of anxiety.

I felt like this very strongly postpartum (and was raised by an extremely health-anxious mother).

The thing that helped me snap out of this was - let's say I or my dh got diagnosed with terminal cancer in 5,10y time. Not only would I be devastated but I'd also look back and regret not making the most of the healthy years we had together. You're healthy now, your partner and son are healthy. Treasure this time, don't waste it by seeking reassurance and panicking.

I have vivid memories of being around 3-4y old, and that was when my DM first started saying to me "I'm getting older, one day I will die, and if I do, I promise it'll be Aunty S looking after you, not your [awful, estranged] Dad." It used to terrify me. That was over 30y ago and she's still very much alive and she was a selfish idiot to terrify a small child like that.

Edit to add - not that I'm saying you would be quite so blatant, but your DS will eventually pick up on your anxiety and it will do him harm.

@Eyesopenwideawake yes my mum had health anxiety, i would often come in from school and see her upset etc. il look into that thank you x

@Kingdomofsleep Ah that’s awful - thanks for sharing your experience. My mum had bad health anxiety too and I would often come in from school and see her upset etc. I did get it somewhat under control but then when I had my son and my dad got diagnosed it just all felt too much.
I definitely don’t want to rub off onto my little one though :(

Try to take out time for yourself and prioritize yourself because when you will start working on your life; routine, patterns and behaviors, then people would automatically know and accept you in better ways.