I'm 22, autistic (Level 2), and I believe Jesus has chosen me for a special mission on Earth. After a violent incident, my parents want to send me to a psychiatric asylum, but I still haven't calmed down and feel the need to come out on top. I seriously need advice.
Before I begin, I want to make something absolutely clear: everything I'm about to describe is completely true. This is not a troll post, rage bait, a fictional story, or an attempt to get attention. I'm not making any of this up or deliberately exaggerating anything. These are my actual experiences, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. I understand that some parts of this story might sound unbelievable or extreme, but I'm being completely serious, and I would appreciate it if people treated this post accordingly.
I'm a 22-year-old guy living in Athens, Greece, and I'm on the autism spectrum (Level 2). I've always experienced certain difficulties, especially with social interactions, understanding other people's intentions, and managing my emotions when I feel overwhelmed or disrespected.
Despite these challenges, I consider myself a very ambitious person with many plans and goals for the future.
I'm currently studying, and I'm generally extremely consistent with my education. I attend my classes regularly, take my responsibilities seriously, and I'm getting very close to graduating. Once I finish, I'd like to find a job somewhere close to my home in Athens, become more independent, and gradually start putting the rest of my plans into action.
I have many interests and things I'd like to pursue. For example, I play guitar, and I've even received a proposal to potentially participate in a future television series focusing on autism and the experiences of autistic people in Greece.
There are also several other activities, projects, and personal goals that I want to explore. I genuinely feel that I have a lot ahead of me and that my life is about to enter a very important phase.
However, there's another side of my life that has recently started causing serious problems.
I'm an extremely religious person, although I don't belong to any particular Christian denomination. I'm not Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant, or anything specific. I simply believe very strongly in Jesus Christ, and my faith is one of the most important parts of my existence.
For quite some time, I've felt that almost everything happening in my life has a deeper meaning.
Whenever an opportunity comes my way, whenever I discover a new interest, whenever I meet someone, or whenever something unexpected happens, I tend to interpret it as a sign from God.
Over time, these feelings have become increasingly intense.
I've developed a very strong belief that Jesus has personally chosen me to fulfill a specific mission here on Earth. I feel that my education, my future career, my musical interests, my potential involvement in a television series about autism, and all my other ambitions are somehow connected to this divine purpose.
I genuinely believe that I'm not here by accident and that God has a particular plan for me.
Sometimes this belief makes me feel almost invincible, as though I'm being personally guided and protected by Jesus and that nobody can ultimately stand in the way of what I'm supposed to accomplish.
A few days ago, however, something happened that completely changed the way my friends and family see me.
I attended a social gathering with some people around my age. Everything was going relatively normally until I started having a conversation with another guy.
During our conversation, he suddenly began laughing at me and making fun of me for no apparent reason.
At first, I tried to remain polite. I specifically asked him to stop because I didn't want any misunderstandings or unnecessary arguments.
However, he continued mocking me despite my request.
Eventually, I completely lost control of myself.
In front of everyone, I grabbed him by the collar, threw him onto the floor, and started repeatedly punching him.
While attacking him, I was shouting that nobody messes with God's messenger on Earth, that anyone who stands against me will be punished, and that people need to understand who they're dealing with.
My friends immediately intervened to stop me, and the entire gathering was abruptly ended.
Two days later, some of my friends told me that I was extremely lucky because the guy hadn't suffered any serious injuries and had decided not to press charges.
The problem is that, even now, several days later, I still haven't calmed down.
I keep replaying what happened in my head, and I still feel an incredibly strong need to come out on top.
I feel as though I cannot simply accept what happened and move on. A part of me desperately wants to prove that nobody has the right to humiliate me, challenge me, or treat me as though I'm inferior.
I keep thinking about how I need to establish my position and make people understand that they cannot disrespect me without consequences.
I also feel that, because of the mission I believe God has given me, I shouldn't allow anyone to stand in my way.
Even though I understand that my actions were violent and could have seriously injured someone, emotionally I still feel angry, restless, and determined to prove that I'm right.
I don't feel that the situation is over in my mind, even though everyone else seems to want to move past it.
Things became even worse when my parents found out.
I've experienced some behavioral and emotional difficulties in the past, so this incident made them extremely concerned.
When they confronted me about what happened, I tried explaining that I believe certain people have bad intentions and are deliberately trying to interfere with my purpose.
I told them that I feel as though I'm being opposed by evil people and that I need to rise above them and eliminate those who stand against me.
I also explained that I believe Jesus has chosen me for a specific mission and that the signs I receive from God are guiding me toward the correct path.
Instead of accepting my explanation, my parents became genuinely terrified of me and my behavior.
They're now seriously considering having me admitted to a psychiatric asylum, possibly even against my will, because they believe I may be a danger to other people.
They're also talking about putting me on psychiatric medication.
They seem convinced that my religious beliefs, my increasingly intense behavior, and my inability to calm down after the violent incident are signs that something is seriously wrong with my mental health.
I find this extremely frustrating because, from my perspective, I'm simply trying to explain what I believe God has revealed to me.
My friends have also started distancing themselves from me.
Some barely talk to me anymore, and others seem noticeably uncomfortable around me.
I get the impression that they're afraid of how I might react if something upsets me again.
This makes me feel even more isolated, because I genuinely want the people around me to understand what I'm experiencing.
I keep trying to figure out how to convince them that my beliefs are correct, that the signs I perceive from God are meaningful, and that I have an important purpose to fulfill.
I feel an overwhelming need for people to acknowledge me, respect me, and recognize that I believe I'm following the path Jesus has chosen for me.
Sometimes I feel that anyone who opposes me is also opposing that purpose.
At the same time, I realize that my family is frightened, my friendships are deteriorating, and my anger hasn't gone away.
What concerns me is that I still feel the need to win this conflict. I don't just want everyone to forget what happened. I want to come out on top, prove that I'm right, and make sure nobody ever treats me that way again.
I still feel as though I'm fighting against people who are trying to undermine me, and part of me believes that, as God's chosen messenger, I cannot allow myself to be defeated.
Sometimes I even feel that I'm invincible and that everyone should recognize my authority and respect the mission I believe I've been given.
And the truth is, I still haven't managed to calm down. Not even slightly.
I continue thinking about the incident, about the people who seem to be turning against me, and about how I can convince everyone that I'm the one who knows the correct path through the signs God has shown me.
I feel angry that my parents want to send me to a psychiatric asylum instead of believing me.
I feel betrayed by my friends for distancing themselves.
And I feel an almost uncontrollable need to prove that I'm right and that nobody can stand above me.
So I'm asking for advice because I genuinely don't know what to do anymore.
Do you think my belief that Jesus has personally chosen me for a mission on Earth could be related to a mental health condition?
Could my autism have anything to do with the intensity of these thoughts, or might something else be happening?
Why do I still feel such an overwhelming need to prove my superiority and come out on top, even days after the incident?
Do you think my parents are justified in considering sending me to a psychiatric asylum, possibly against my will?
Should I accept psychiatric medication if that's what they want, even though I'm afraid it might change my personality, my religious beliefs, or the way I experience my connection with Jesus?
How am I supposed to rebuild my relationships with my family and friends when I still feel so strongly that I'm right and that other people simply don't understand me?
And how can I tell the difference between genuine faith in Jesus and religious experiences that might be affecting my judgment or behavior?
I'm only 22 years old. I have many ambitions, interests, and plans for my future. I want to finish my studies, find a job, continue playing guitar, explore the opportunity involving the television series, and pursue many other activities.
But right now, I feel like I'm caught between my religious convictions, my anger, my need to be respected, and the growing concern of everyone around me.
The most troubling part is that I still don't feel calm, I still feel the need to come out on top, and I still believe that God has chosen me for something extraordinary. I find it incredibly difficult to accept that I might be wrong.
I also want to emphasize once again that none of this is trolling or fiction. I know how unusual this entire situation sounds, but every incident I've described actually happened, and these are genuinely the thoughts and emotions I'm experiencing. I'm not writing this as a joke, and I'm not trying to provoke anyone. I genuinely want to understand what's happening to me and what I should do next.
What do you think I should do?
I'd especially appreciate responses from autistic adults, mental health professionals, people who have experienced intense religious beliefs, or anyone who has gone through something similar.