Scared of how poorly OCD is making me

[Northernandgrumpy]

I’m 50 years old and have suffered from what I now believe is OCD since my teens. Sometimes it can improve slightly but right now I’m not really functioning. Most of my OCD revolves around health anxiety, but my behaviour is out of control. I’m spending large amounts of the day googling possible diagnosis for various health concerns for me and my family. My camera on my phone consists of ChatGPT screen shots and suspicious looking skin concerns, along with photos of my eyes, tongue etc. I’m not really doing anything else as currently not working. My husband had throat cancer 2 years ago but is now in remission. My Dad is receiving palliative care for cancer and my mum had recently been through a severe mental health breakdown. I’m not doing any house work and everywhere is getting out of hand. This is now depression as I see no joy in anything and catastrophise absolutely everything. When I read this back to myself I realise how bad this is getting. My husband just doesn’t understand me and think my teen kids are just fed up with me. I went to the GP yesterday primarily because I’m scared about a mark in my scalp but ended up confessing how bad my mental health is. It was a really quick appointment so he didn’t really listen but gave me a script for fluoxetine. I’ve been of sertraline in the last. I can’t say it was a amazing and I stopped after several years and I kept waking with my heart beating very rapidly for a few minutes and had a very large weight gain. I’m now down to 8 stone and dont want to gain weight again but more importantly can’t cope with it effecting my heart. Any advice would be great fully received as I can’t go on.

Why do you think it's OCD rather than health anxiety?

It might be a good idea to access Talking Therapies. If you google & add in whatever area, there will be a link to make an online referral.

I think you need to request a referral to the community mental health team for an assessment.
They will be much more informed than a hurried GP appt where these days you get ten minutes and they are only willing to listen to one simple problem.

OCD is not just ‘an obsession with cleaning’ it’s repetitive behaviour affecting your daily life related to an anxiety in this case obsessing on the internet all things health…

I didn't mention cleaning.

Using medication alongside ERP therapy often yields the best long-term results.
Are you trying anything?

I personally think it is hormone related (not an expert by any means) but when people I know have had hyperthyroidism they have got progressively worse OCD. It might be an overlap or accentuation of existing behaviours I suppose but the frantic anxiety about things seems to be the same. My friend had proprananol to calm her anxiety but I don't think it is usually used for OCD.

You poor thing! It sounds like you've got a lot going on, it's no wonder your mental health has taken a nosedive 😕 I know it feels scary but it's good that you spoke to your GP about it and starting on medication, even if that's not the whole solution, it can help.

Does your GP practice have a dedicated mental health professional? Many do and they can arrange an assessment for you with the community mental health team. If not, go back to your GP and ask for a referral.

Before your appointment, write everything down so that you don't forget, it can be difficult to organise your thoughts when you're anxious and may feel rushed at the appointment. And you can take someone with you for support if you want to.

You have taken the first step by realising this has become a problem you can't manage on your own. That's really good and you can build on that. Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. You can get better 💐

The GP has given you a really good drug for ocd. Palpitations at the first are not really noticeable - you might get very rare little flutters. Harmless.

I don’t think Prozac gives you weight gain. If you get more hungry, carry bananas - worked for me.