Overwhelmed, intrusive thoughts

[Sugarplum5]

Just wondering if anyone else can honestly say they feel or have felt this way. I get overwhelmed quite easily, usually around my period, i feel more anxious, have intrusive thoughts like I'm going to harm one of my children because they've overwhelmed me, which frightens me, sometimes I feel like i could lash out, I wake in the night feeling anxious and just overall feel different when due on. I know this can be PMS or PMDD, I have had suicidal thoughts in the past and they can be worse during this time. Its the harmful thoughts surrounding my children that bother me the most. I think the recent Lindsay Clancy case has frightened me and highlighted these thoughts making me think what if I do something like that. My 3 year old can be very difficult and intense aswell as daughter who is 11 with adhd, no support system, busy lifestyle working etc so I just feel constantly in a state of fight or flight. I know these thoughts/feelings only appear when I'm at a point of overwhelm and not when I'm coping well. I already take sertraline which suits me well albeit I forget to take it sometimes. Please be kind and honest

Hi op, sorry you are struggling right now. Do go and speak to your DR. I know you take AD already, but low iron, low vitamin D or B12/folate or thyroid issues can all cause these sorts of anxiety and intrusive thoughts -ask me how I know!
However, even when all the above were fine with me, and I thought the citalopram I was on suited me, a change of AD helped stopped my intrusive thoughts and eased my OCD. I had a young DC with AuDHD at the time, and also little support. It’s tough, I know. I hope things improve for you soon

I’ve had this. So have lots of people - it’s a subtype of ocd that goes away in the end.

Famously, no one acts on the violent thoughts, including you. The fact you’re horrified shows it. But the way best fix is not to be scared but to observe the thought without judgement - easier said than done, I know.

Lindsay C had a brain bombed out on contradictory drugs, bipolar and the rest. She had a lot more wrong with her than ocd that doesn’t provoke violence.

Thank you. I've noticed these feelings taverner off once my period has gone. They are so unpleasant. Feeling alot better since my post

OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this. OCD is horrendous.

I recommend the book Imp of the Mind -

https://www.ocduk.org/product/imp-of-the-mind/

The intrusive thoughts you are suffering from are ego dystonic - the opposite of what you really think. Almost like your brain scanning things you're horrified by to make sure they never happen.
I have OCD. It's hell. You have my sympathy & empathy. You're a good mother x

Thank you I'll check it out. I've had it since I was 6, but it comes and goes, I can go years without it. I feel like it changes everytime so I'm never sure if its the ocd or me feeling like I'm going mad 🤦‍♀️

Also sorry to hear you suffer from this too. Thank you for the kind words x

Yes, the period spike is well known - it’s because of dropping hormones. Eases off when you bleed and they start rising.

It’s really not you, it’s the condition. Mine got miles better when menopause hit.

Give them a kind-but-silly name like Hortense. Never be rude to them, just take them for what they are, meaningless harmless blips.