CAHMS - Waiting and waiting

[Oldrivet]

My 16 (17 next week) year old has been really struggling with her MH for the past year or so including self harming by cutting and picking at skin which causes marks everywhere.
I've had to take her to Urgent care twice as she's been in such a state.
She was accepted by Camhs back in April after GP referred her.
All we've had are 2 meetings face to face (and one only because of the hospital visit), some phone call check ins every few weeks and 3 sessions for me (sessions for parents) which I attended online.
She doesn't seem to have any other dates planned or a clear plan in place.

She visited the GP herself a month or so ago to try and get help and they said they couldn't do anything.

I am getting increasingly down with it as I'm on my own with 2 other teenagers and working a stressful job. I have also a history of depression and have kept it under control for a long time but I can feel it slipping back with all the stress. I know I won't be able to support her much longer on my own, not in a selfish way but because I know my own could reappear and make things worse.

I can't understand why she can't be given any medication while she waits and I hate seeing her struggle.
I can't understand how adults can get help by means of medication the same day whereas someone 2 years younger has to struggle for months on end with no support.

I know they are busy and understaffed. It's an incredibly challenging job but where do other people turn when Camhs is not fit for purpose?

I agree, we are having similar problems with my DD12 - self harming, suicide ideation, OCD and a visit to the hospital for two days for critical care to help us make a plan with keeping her safe. This was in April. A few months later we had a meeting with CAMHS, who said because she has autism and her age, they feel counselling was not an appropriate pathway and they could give us parenting lessons to help with self-harm strategies (?!). I didn’t agree with this personally, because how would a child get better without someone to talk to? She is not talking to us. We had a call recently to say we are on the waiting list still for the final decision, but nothing since then.

Later, we tried a private psychiatrist and they referred us to intense CBT and she recommended medication. My GP refused to issue medication without CAMHS and the CBT woman didn’t feel she could help us and told us we need CAMHS (she needs a multidisciplinary agency). Both the GP and counsellor put in a request to make her case urgent, but this was rejected and we are on the same waiting list. So we are stuck waiting again with nothing to help.

It feels like every pathway is hard with a child involved, and CAMHS is simply unable to cope with the demand.

I'm sorry you're going through it too wishful. It's so hard for them as teenagers.
I also don't agree with them just leaving it to parents. They don't know the parents' history or if they may be having similar problems, they don't even know if the child is safe without any kind of meaningful discussion or knowledge of family background.
I've worked in education for years and know that most parents try their absolute best for their children but there are many who are unable to take the place of a medical professional or trained counsellor by way of physical or mental health, lack of resources or other issues.
It just feels like parents are going for help in desperation to seek help only to be told that it's their responsibility and they have to deal with it. My daughter and so many others have now lost lots of days of college and previously schooling which will impact her whole future.

@Oldrivet "She doesn't seem to have any other dates planned or a clear plan in place.
...
I know they are busy and understaffed. It's an incredibly challenging job but where do other people turn when Camhs is not fit for purpose?"

They should have given you a care plan for DD, and if not, you should be having contact every three months whilst waiting... I say should because, as you say, they're understaffed and waiting well contacts are usually the first sacrifice. You should be able to ask for an update, even if this means she has to attend a review meeting.

The trouble is that, whilst CAMHS isn't fit for purpose, the private sector is even worse, and most people don't know what they need, or where to look. If you can manage to wait for CAMHS, you'll probably get better care there than going private.

From my experience the private route only works if you can find a private clinician who also works in the NHS.

For my DD (albeit some years ago now) we were lucky to find a private Psychiatrist through BUPA who was also the Consultant Lead for a CAMHS service near to us. She did 4 assessment sessions and did a report indicating my DD needed antidepressants and assessments for autism and ADHD. Whilst this wasn't accepted immediately by CAMHS, following a complaint to PALS they did accept the recommendation and we were put on an urgent list for the Consultant Psychiatrist for our CAMHS service who prescribed medication immediately. The same then happened when we had a private Autism assessment (conducted by very reputable NHS professionals) and it was accepted after a PALS complaint and they finally put on the list for an NHS ADHD assessment.

I don't think it's right but we were definitely more successful when using NHS clinicians privately, I think most know the right language etc to use which will be accepted. Most clinicians will mention it on their website if they still work in the NHS.

Maybe that's what I'll have to do. I just wondered though, she's 17 next week. Would GPs prescribe antidepressants when she's 18 as she's be classed as a adult.
I also wonder what happens once she turns 18 on Camhs?

I applied for an ADHD pathway months ago and we were accepted but heard nothing since.

That's interesting Kava. I was thinking of trying the private route. I haven't seen a care plan.

CAMHS is a national disgrace. The whole service is not fit for purpose. No wonder there is a mental health epidemic among our young people. Personally, I would be deeply ashamed to be a part of such a chronically failing organisation. The NHS just needs to raze CAMHS everywhere and start again. And recruit kind and compassionate people who actually want to work positively with children and young people with poor mental health.

Is the problem really that the staff are not kind and compassionate rather than that they are understaffed and underfunded? It must be incredibly demoralising to work in that environment when they know they can’t provide the level of support needed by their patients.

Yes, you are probably right.