My meh attitude

[Tomorrowisjustanotherday]

Struggling with breast cancer drugs. Widowed 2.5 years ago, then met a fab guy two months before early breast cancer diagnosis. He’s everything I’d want a man to be but I feel im wrecking it with my meh attitude.

He’s made I clear he’s in for the long haul, thinks our relationship is great and all will be ok. BUT! me, the drug filled zombie me finds some of the things he is just too much. He’s wordy, loves to almost love bomb me with how much he loves me, I’ve never met anyone like it, it feels too much, ive even said so, described love bombing. He’s deep, I’ve never really shared my emotions and tbh I can’t b arsed to poet a response more than I Love You.

the horrendous fatigue leaves me just about deciding what to put in an online food basket and not really capable of being hugely romantic. Id be devastated if we broke up. I’ve seriously been blooming awful tonight I as I said an outright no to doing something I know he would really enjoy and I have no desire whatsoever (even before cancer) to do it. He’s told me he’s hurt by my answer.

he’s suggested kindly that im possibly depressed. Im not sure im depressed. I am however fed up with not feeling myself and am now wondering if I should have been kinder and gone to the ‘bingo’

you’ve got to listen to your gut, speaking up loud and clear. There’s a reason you don’t feel enthusiastic.
he sounds needy.
when I talked myself into staying with a man like this and wondered what was “wrong with” me that I felt so anxious anytime I had to spend time with him, and exhausted when he finally left … it turns out he was actually very abusive and manipulative. It took me two years to finally get out of that mess.

he may not be abusive but the neediness is very off-putting. You shouldn’t have to force feelings.

best get yourself free of this one

Beware the love bomber. As pp said, sounds possibly needy & manipulative

this shouldn’t be making you feel more exhausted, OP.
Look after yourself 💐

There's plenty of things my DH would love to do that I absolutely do not want to, and vice versa. We don't guilt trip each other about it.

Sounds like you feel like you should appreciate his indulgent spiel, because on the surface of it it sounds nice. But it's not when it adds to your to do list when you're ill.

I think I’m going to make a big thing of spelling out how much I can’t cope with the continuous I love you’s/miss you and in depth analysis of what he thinks I’m thinking.

it’s too draining and I really don’t have the energy to deal wit it in my unwell state

A really great man would acknowledge your needs, not expect you to expend energy appreciating his loving energy-draining gestures.

I knew Dh was the one when I tried to cancel an early date because I felt unwell. He begged me to come over anyway and I did, feeling a bit annoyed at him insisting. But when I got to his house there was a bath run, home made soup on the stove and he just tucked me up in bed for the weekend then watched TV alone, occasionally coming in to check on me with fresh hot water bottles, lemsip and berroca. Zero pestering.

He sounds exhausting!

Getting to a diagnosis yourself is not the right idea so it is better that you get an assessment if you have any doubts.

Going to drs tomorrow for a blood test and a chat. Also chatted to a friend in real life today who has met him and knows me well and also thinks he’s ott but probably well meaning.