What is wrong with me

[Finewine76]

I am on the patches for hrt low dose, and I am on the pill as periods so bad. I wake uo and I think about work first thing, it ruins my weekend. I obsess over things till they consume me, I then start avoiding people as I know its all im going to talk about and they will get sick of me. My family are all sick of me. I apply for jobs thinking I need something different its work that's ruining my life, my money is good though and I am good at my job. The politics at work affect me more than they should. I dont understand how some people have still got jobs or why they are able to work in a my sector after what we know about them. Im obsessed with cleaning and my family struggle to relax around me as I am constantly cleaning and making them do it too. I look for hobbies and courses to do but then dont do them. I judge people and it changes how I feel about them. I know ive become aloof with people and I dont care but when I stop I think, I don't like that some people might not like me. I go to sleep with podcasts or sleep guides on but my mind always goes back to work and things that either annoy me or that I have to do. Ive tried to hand my notice in but they persuaded me to stay as there is no one else to do my job. If my husband or grown kids dont do things my way I sulk and take offence and get angry refusing to help them. Ive turned in to a horrible person.
Im 50 if that matters.

It sounds like with the cleaning and getting upset when things aren’t done your way, you are trying desperately to control everything, which is a common response to feeling overwhelmed. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed all the time is very much a perimenopause symptom. Were you always like this with work or is it new?

Sounds like you’re feeling a need for control. I would consider adding an anti anxiety medication along side your HRT. My GP suggested this for me and it’s really helped.

Possibly ocd or ADHD? Maybe your hrt is too low? There are proven links now between oestrogen and adhd, you need a women’s health specialist

No ive not always been like this, it seems to have gradually got worse over the last 18 months.

Thank you. I think its time i booked in for a review. I feel like im going to lose everyone around me if I carry on.

I second what everyone has said about HRT and seeing your GP. We women are ruled by hormones our whole lives. HRT changed everything for me. I suddenly became the relaxed person I used to be, rather than a shrew full of constant rage.

Thank you. I am going to book in next week. I either need an increase i think or something else. I have the lowest patch at the moment

Yes, given it’s only been like this and getting worse for the last 18 months, I think it’s unlikely to be ADHD or anything like that. I was like a whole different person until I got my HRT levels and combo right. I would be starting with that, checking with your GP if an increase is in order and if that doesn’t work maybe looking at anti-anxiety medication as someone suggested.

And I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s just awful to feel so negative about life and unable to control it. I really hope you get some relief soon.

So this clearly shows that your behavior is getting disturbed and the possible reason could be a negative outlook. The way you think impacts your life highly and it is better if you change the outlook of life. Instead of thinking of the worst things in the beginning of the day, try to think of the blessings you have and count them. This will bring self reflection and your behavior would regulate a well.

You say that but what the OP is experiencing sounds remarkably similar to a peri menopausal woman. HRT changed my behaviour and outlook overnight. As women, we underestimate the effect of hormones on so many areas of our life.