How do you manage loneliness when your partner travels frequently for work?

[Gingerbreadcookiesandcream]

Out of interest, if you have a partner/spouse who travels a lot for work, how do you manage the loneliness? My husband travels a lot for work, it can vary as to how much which means I'm home with the kids. Some days his work days can be very busy and he barely has time to talk to us - even in the evenings. I don't have family nearby and I do try to fill my time with hobbies or doing work in a café if I can, sending a message to friends etc. It's always been this way with travel sickness the kids were born although travel has increased somewhat in the last year. Now that my kids are going towards the teen phase, I feel like I need to build up something for myself as they get older as his job is always likely to be this way. I find evenings the worst. I do try to see the benefits e.g. having the bed to myself but I still prefer my husband home. I have a dog as well although she isn't really a sit next to you dog for company (she used to be but has become less so but I'm hoping that is was just the summer heat and she needed her space to cool down!)

I work part time and that keeps me going but I'm looking for a job with more hours. I'm wondering if I worked 4 days a week, it would give me more company.

Any tips would be fully appreciated. 😊

I’m not really sure that work is the answer as one day you will retire. Best to find hobbies and friends for life, but it is hard to do.

You sound unhappy in your life. I wouldn't want to look back in a life spent missing my partner. It wouldn't be the right relationship for me.

Mine was out of the house from before 7am until 9/9.30pm and often away. There was about 15 months when he was in the US, coming home for a long weekend once a fortnight.

The onky time I felt lonely really was at weekends when he worked at least one day and I felt a bit like a single parent. Oddly, it was the glued together couoles who split up when their dc were teenagers.

Like you, no family close but I was never lonely. I had the children and ran church playgroup and was a warden, chair of the PTA, book club, etc. I went back to work when the youngest was settled in reception, partly because I was starting to look fkrward to home time and having a chat with the other mums. Also, when I found myself wiping the stainless steel cooker with baby oil - it didn't talk to me.

The DC kept up sports club until their late teens and Friday nights were quite social in the bar.

They are grown up now and we are about to retire.

I don't get lonely at all I absolutely love it. However you need your own hobbies, go to the gym join a pilates class things like that

The evenings would probably be the hardest part for me too. Having something regular to look forward to, like an evening class, seeing a friend or even a weekly dog walk with someone, might help make the time feel less lonely. Working more could give you more adult company too, but I’d try building a bit of a social routine around yourself as well.

Thank you all for taking the time to respond to me.

Yes @Stopthattractor - yes that's probably right. There is a degree of unhappiness with this lifestyle although I'm very grateful for his job that pays the bills. I try to do hobbies. Perhaps it's me who has an issue with an empty house. I do suffer with OCD, so that could be a contributor to the loneliness/ anxiety feeling. It probably doesn't help that I have a child with SEN as well so it can be hard work at times being the solo parent holding the fort at home.

@Totaldramallama yes I could go to the gym more, good shout.

@RosesAndHellebores interesting about the couples that were glued together separating!

I think I need to do some research/ find a positive solution long term for this! I think if I also earn more money from work, I can buy myself more freedom, which at the moment I don't earn enough. I think this is a project for me.

What hobbies do you like

park run is social

book club?

what activities do your children do?

I like music, I sing in a choir once a week. I do like reading and I'll see if there's a book club. I suppose, going out in the evening is trickier due to babysitting but I wonder if there's an online book club for now. Thank you for the ideas!