Hi all, I think this post is seeking reassurance, advice, anything really. I am struggling, and I need constructive/helpful advice, please be kind, I am already in an awful headspace.
background context - I am 23, I have a child under 2, I still live at home but pay my full share as a tenant, my child’s father is completely absent and does not contribute (CMS do not care). I have a history of prolonged mental health issues, diagnosed anxiety/depression/health anxiety & OCD. I am also in around 4k credit card/overdraft/klarna debt stemming from mat leave pay and the inability to afford basic necessities at that time.
i work, I have a decent job, my take home all in is around 2.3k after deductions (this includes any additional benefits), I recently had a miscarriage as well that has contributed to my low moods, on a general level I have 0 energy, everyday is the same, i barely get any free time, I barely leave the house due to anxiety and I cannot drive as I cannot afford to do lessons.
after bills/repayments/necessities each month, I’m pretty much left with nothing, i can’t do anything with my child, I can’t save, I’m dreading moving out as i do not know how I’d even afford basic furniture. I do NOT live a lavish lifestyle and try to make the most out of what I have. I feel guilty, my child’s wardrobe needs replaced, I’m looking at £200 (at basic prices) and that wouldn’t even cover all the clothing she’ll need for the next size. I do bargain hunt, and I love Vinted, but every purchase adding delivery costs honestly tallies up to the same as buying bloody new in most cases.
I do have a gambling issue, I am working on it, I probably would have slightly more disposable if not for gambling, but even when I do my monthly “budget” the disposable income is still minimal at that.
my life is genuinely dreadful, I am so grateful for the little things, and I love motherhood, I just do not know how much longer I can live like this, I am not at risk of self harm, but I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. I just want some normality in my life, my head constantly goes at 1000 and I’m always worrying about money, I can’t even afford to travel to my part remote - work (and they don’t care as it’s my responsibility).
I think the purpose of this post is to seek advice, how does other people in this position cope? Is there anything additional I could/should do to improve my current circumstances. I already utilise the mental health support available to me, however GP continuously change/increase my medication and therapy isn’t available to me for another 1-2 years. I’m just at a loss, I can’t see things getting better and I’m at breaking point.
any resources, or support offered would be greatly appreciated, I just want to feel somewhat comfortable and not worry about tomorrow.