Should I access support or wait it out?

[NotQuiteUsual]

So background, I suffer from semi regular psychotic episodes. Ive been discharged from my care team as they only support for 3 years and now am under gp care.

Im so low, I can barely manage to sit up. I can care for my children and get up to look after them, but thats it. I feel like I do just before a psychotic episode starts, ive had hallucinations in the last few days. But im aware theyre fake and ive always been told as long as you're aware theyre not real theyre not a concern.

I feel like im waiting to get worse, but I've been making suicide plans just incase, so surely thats bad enough to seek support? Although sometimes these intense low periods just dissipate. Last time I tried contacting the gp they ignored my concerns and made me feel such a burden. Plus I dont want to worry my husband. I don't know what to do. I just wish I had my cpn still, she'd know what to do.

I don't know the exact answer to your question, but I know that my therapist always says to me to come back to facts.
So, when you have had psychotic episodes in the past what has the treatment been?
Have the MH professionals said to 'just wait it out' or have they provided you with medication?
If they provided medication do you still have that medication or do you have to get a new prescription at the time?
If this means you need to talk to a MH professional to get medication you need to contact them.

When you were feeling really low before and contacted the GP were you feeling as low as you are now? I know that my GP would be concerned if I wasn't able to get up and function. They would be incredibly concerned if I said I was actively making plans for suicide. This alone to me says that you need to talk to someone in the MH profession.

Have you tried phoning 111 option 2 for MH support - they should be able to access your notes and give you specific help? If you aren't able to speak then you can also text the SHOUT service 85258 I have found them brilliant for making the right call in situations when I haven't been well enough to do so.

I think you're right. The gp will probably be concerned. 111 option 2 know me and because ive mentioned intrusive thoughts once before they dismiss every symptom as intrusive thoughts and then leave me to it, so I dont trust them very much. Ill contact the gp tomorrow if this cloud is still over me.

Im expecting to decline when thr kids go back to school anyway since I miss having them home so much.

You could try another medication referred by the GP. Brain supplements may help you also.

You need to go to the ED if you’re hallucinating, while you’re in the space where you still have insight. If you wait it will get worse - you don’t want to be involuntarily admitted. If you take yourself there you’ll probably get out of it with some antipsychotics. If you wait it will be much worse. I think you know this stuff never just stops or reverses, it only goes in one direction. Psychosis is a medical emergency and you’re showing early signs, go now while you can control the situation.

OP, I think you should get help now, not later. I tend to experience insight before crashing.

I wish you the best.