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Severe anxiety

13 replies

etchedinstone · 21/08/2026 09:12

I’m hoping there’s someone out there who can help/ offer advice or at least hand hold.

I am experiencing a bout of severe anxiety and am really struggling. I’ve had it twice before in the last 5 years and I know it’s utterly debilitating. It’s been triggered by ds not doing too well in his A Levels and a spiralling sense that even though he’s got a place at uni he will fail the course at some point and end up in loads of debt for nothing.

I can’t eat or sleep, I’m fidgeting and constantly catastrophising. GP has prescribed propanolol which helps a bit. I tried sertraline previously and it was absolutely hideous, so I don’t want to go down that route again.

Can anyone offer some advice or kind words to help please.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 21/08/2026 09:34

Anxiety is the emotion that's triggered when you need to 'do' something – put the bins out, get to the airport in time, turn the oven off, etc.

What your anxiety is doing now is trying to prod you into action for something that's outside of your control, which is why you're finding it so unsettling. The human brain loves certainty, it loves being able to predict the future, even though the reality is we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow; never mind in three years time.

You have no idea what the future holds for your son. Nor does he. What you CAN take comfort from is that, whatever happens, you will deal with it. That's what you've done with every situation or challenge that you've faced in your life, so you have experience and wisdom on your side.

When that voice of anxiety whispers in your ear don't ignore or squish it, acknowledge the worry and tell yourself you will deal with it as/when/if it happens. Worrying about things that haven't happened yet is a complete waste of your happiness today.

Sleepy21 · 21/08/2026 11:10

etchedinstone · 21/08/2026 09:12

I’m hoping there’s someone out there who can help/ offer advice or at least hand hold.

I am experiencing a bout of severe anxiety and am really struggling. I’ve had it twice before in the last 5 years and I know it’s utterly debilitating. It’s been triggered by ds not doing too well in his A Levels and a spiralling sense that even though he’s got a place at uni he will fail the course at some point and end up in loads of debt for nothing.

I can’t eat or sleep, I’m fidgeting and constantly catastrophising. GP has prescribed propanolol which helps a bit. I tried sertraline previously and it was absolutely hideous, so I don’t want to go down that route again.

Can anyone offer some advice or kind words to help please.

Offering a hand hold as I am in exactly the same position as you! Had a severely debilitating anxiety episode last year and now currently having one now so know how you feel and hoping it will pass soon! Not eating or sleeping either :( sending love to you - it’s such a horrible feeling xx

ScaredButUnavoidable · 21/08/2026 13:31

Eyesopenwideawake · 21/08/2026 09:34

Anxiety is the emotion that's triggered when you need to 'do' something – put the bins out, get to the airport in time, turn the oven off, etc.

What your anxiety is doing now is trying to prod you into action for something that's outside of your control, which is why you're finding it so unsettling. The human brain loves certainty, it loves being able to predict the future, even though the reality is we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow; never mind in three years time.

You have no idea what the future holds for your son. Nor does he. What you CAN take comfort from is that, whatever happens, you will deal with it. That's what you've done with every situation or challenge that you've faced in your life, so you have experience and wisdom on your side.

When that voice of anxiety whispers in your ear don't ignore or squish it, acknowledge the worry and tell yourself you will deal with it as/when/if it happens. Worrying about things that haven't happened yet is a complete waste of your happiness today.

That isn’t what true anxiety is.

Anxiety doesn't “whisper in your ear” - it screams at the top of its voice and consumes you.

Anyway OP, I also have an anxiety disorder and I have been on low dose propanolol for about 3 years now. Generally it keeps me settled but when I have one of major attacks I really spiral. I get all the physiological changes, heart racing, sweating, numbness and tingling in the limbs, those impending feelings of doom and fear, the constant sense that something bad is going to happen and an overwhelming sense of panic. I also can’t sit still and find myself pacing from room to room, trying to find something mindless to do as a form of distraction but it’s pointless, because my brain is in overdrive and all it can focus on is what I’m feeling anxious about and it feels like the world is spinning and that I’m drowning. I can’t comprehend what people are saying to me, I feel confused, I feel dizzy….. everything around me just feels wrong. It’s incredibly debilitating and it usually ends up with me in bursting into tears because my brain and body becomes so overwhelmed.

It’s very rare I have these episodes now….. maybe one every 3-4 months as an average and I do have techniques in place to bring myself back to reality and my husband is very good at bringing me out of it too, but when I’m in that state of true overwhelming anxiety it is terrifying.

So many people equate anxiety to being the same as being worried and nervous, but it’s in a league of it’s own and not just something you can “squish down” or ignore.

You have my sympathies OP xx

Bufftailed · 21/08/2026 13:35

I suffer too. Have you tried really focusing on improving sleep? I am going this atm - eating earlier, magnesium, stop caffeine earlier, no screens in the evening, eye mask, more exercise. Is helping .

Eyesopenwideawake · 21/08/2026 13:35

@ScaredButUnavoidable Anxiety starts with a whisper, the screaming starts when you ignore the lower level signs.

ScaredButUnavoidable · 21/08/2026 14:07

Eyesopenwideawake · 21/08/2026 13:35

@ScaredButUnavoidable Anxiety starts with a whisper, the screaming starts when you ignore the lower level signs.

Well thank you for that.
I’ll call the GP and cancel my next month’s prescription now I know what the solution to my problem is. If only I knew that all I had to do was “just ignore the whispers” I’d have saved myself a fortune in all the counselling I’ve had to have as well as taking all these pills. Cheers!

I wish I’d met you three years ago when my life fell to pieces.

Sleepy21 · 21/08/2026 15:50

ScaredButUnavoidable · 21/08/2026 13:31

That isn’t what true anxiety is.

Anxiety doesn't “whisper in your ear” - it screams at the top of its voice and consumes you.

Anyway OP, I also have an anxiety disorder and I have been on low dose propanolol for about 3 years now. Generally it keeps me settled but when I have one of major attacks I really spiral. I get all the physiological changes, heart racing, sweating, numbness and tingling in the limbs, those impending feelings of doom and fear, the constant sense that something bad is going to happen and an overwhelming sense of panic. I also can’t sit still and find myself pacing from room to room, trying to find something mindless to do as a form of distraction but it’s pointless, because my brain is in overdrive and all it can focus on is what I’m feeling anxious about and it feels like the world is spinning and that I’m drowning. I can’t comprehend what people are saying to me, I feel confused, I feel dizzy….. everything around me just feels wrong. It’s incredibly debilitating and it usually ends up with me in bursting into tears because my brain and body becomes so overwhelmed.

It’s very rare I have these episodes now….. maybe one every 3-4 months as an average and I do have techniques in place to bring myself back to reality and my husband is very good at bringing me out of it too, but when I’m in that state of true overwhelming anxiety it is terrifying.

So many people equate anxiety to being the same as being worried and nervous, but it’s in a league of it’s own and not just something you can “squish down” or ignore.

You have my sympathies OP xx

Without meaning to hijack this post, I can’t relate to this more and the episode you’re describing is exactly how I feel at the moment and sums up anxiety! How do you talk yourself down? I’m trying and failing!

Eyesopenwideawake · 21/08/2026 16:20

ScaredButUnavoidable · 21/08/2026 14:07

Well thank you for that.
I’ll call the GP and cancel my next month’s prescription now I know what the solution to my problem is. If only I knew that all I had to do was “just ignore the whispers” I’d have saved myself a fortune in all the counselling I’ve had to have as well as taking all these pills. Cheers!

I wish I’d met you three years ago when my life fell to pieces.

Yes. So do I.

Bug84 · 21/08/2026 16:22

‘Addicted to anxiety’ by Owen O’Kane has helped me recently Op - I listened to the audiobook for free on Spotify. X

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/08/2026 16:24

I’m so sorry op, I totally feel your pain. Thankfully sertraline does help me a bit (after a truly horrific 3 week initial period). I wish I had a solution but hand hold and solidarity for sure.

ScaredButUnavoidable · 21/08/2026 17:11

Sleepy21 · 21/08/2026 15:50

Without meaning to hijack this post, I can’t relate to this more and the episode you’re describing is exactly how I feel at the moment and sums up anxiety! How do you talk yourself down? I’m trying and failing!

The first thing I do when things are really overwhelming me is make sure I’m alone as generally I feel that I’m worse if I’m with other people. Even my husband can recognise when I’ve reached the point where his presence is making me feel worse. If other people are talking at me, trying to calm me down or trying to reason with me etc I find that it muddles my thoughts even more. It’s like I can’t cope with trying to digest their thoughts and opinions whilst also trying to juggle all the voices in my own head.

If I can sense myself spiralling I will always take one of my propanolol tablets. I have low dose tablets 3 times a day (upon waking, mid afternoon and before bed) but my GP told me that I can take one as-hoc if I feel an attack coming on.

My counsellor says that the use of heat or cold can really help stabilise mood as it provides a “real” sensation that grounds you when you feel like you’re losing control, so I will always go and make myself a cup of tea. I hold the mug in my hands and feel heat on my skin, and I take tiny sips whilst it’s still really hot and I breathe in the hot steam etc. Feeling the realness of the heat reminds me that I’m still in the real world and not in the crazy world that my anxiety is trying to drag me into. My counsellor says that the use of cold can have the same effect, like running your hands under cold water or placing a bag of frozen peas somewhere on your body etc, but heat has always been my go-to. When I find myself starting to calm down I then go and have a hot shower (if the attack happens whilst I’m at home) and that continued exposure to heat helps.

I have used fans though to calm myself down, I will turn one on at full power and sit directly in front of it to the point where it makes me quite cold, and that does help too.

I also have a technique she also discussed with me where I have to look around the room and name five objects I can see, name five colours I can see, and then name five sounds that I can hear around me.

I also have a piece of fabric that has familiar and comforting smells on it (my husband’s deodorant and my son’s strawberry shampoo) which I then put near my face, but again I can only do this if I’m at home.

Along with the use of heat, the general idea is that by focusing on the use of my 5 senses to bring me back into the reality around me, it will divert me away from the “place” that my anxiety is taking me to.

Whilst I’m using these techniques I’m also quietly telling myself that I’m ok, that nothing bad is going to happen and that it will pass. I remind myself that Ive had 100’s of panic attacks before and they’ve all passed without any harm and that this one will too.

I have kind of accepted now that I can’t stop the panic attack from happening, it’s just doing what I can to try and make it less overwhelming for me until it passes.

I have a counsellor that I see twice a month just a buffer to talk about all the stresses in my life as the build of pressure is a big trigger for my anxiety so just having a vent to her every fortnight and off-loading about anything and everything helps keep my mood much more stable too.

I recognise that my anxiety is always worse in the first hour or so of the morning so I try and keep myself busy and anytime I feel anxiety start to creep in I take regular breaths and keep repeating to myself “Don't worry, this is just your normal morning-time anxiety, you know it’s worse when you wake up so stay calm and don't attribute meaning to it.”

If I do find it hard to control though I then tend to go in the garden and move my legs/hands around on the grass, and I focus on the sharp and prickly sensation of the grass on my skin, instead of focusing on my thoughts - again, it’s just a way of using one of my five senses as a distraction to keep me grounded in reality.

So yes, with me it isn’t so much about talking myself out of my anxiety/panic states because we all know that those state of minds rarely respond to reason, it’s just about using my techniques to keep me in the real world rather than spiralling into the irrational one.

mrslookingforrightschool · 21/08/2026 17:22

Breathing exercises can be really helpful for calming your nervous system. Try inhaling through your nose for 4 seconds, then slowly exhaling through your mouth for 8 seconds. Do this for 3–5 minutes, several times a day.Also, when you catch yourself having a negative or anxious thought, try to immediately challenge it and replace it with a more positive, realistic thought.
Another thing finding 5 things you can see in the room, 4 things you can touch/ feel, 3 things …
blood test to see any abnormalities of deficiencies

Prycejosh1987 · 23/08/2026 00:12

Every routine has something good to offer and help us find.

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