Health anxiety affecting my parenting and daily life at the moment, worried about cancer daily

[MamaB12]

Iv been going to therapy recently and the therapist thinks i have OCD/ADHD.
My mental health has really taken a toll over the past couple of weeks, i am constantly diagnosing myself with illnesses and thinking everything is “Cancer” even typing that word makes me feel ill.
every advert i see or post online is about cancer and symptoms etc and it’s just so draining.. How can i live my life like this? I have a 6 year old boy i cant bear the thought of getting terminally ill and leaving him. It keeps me up at night, every twinge, sensation, ache, pain i immediately think there is something wrong with me. I am not a present parent at the minute i feel so bad 💔❤️‍🩹

How accurate are your diagnoses? I'm reminded of a poster with health anxiety from years ago who said she'd be a crap doctor because she was wrong about the things she convinced herself she was suffering from. Every. Single. Time.

Is your therapist qualified to make the OCD/ADHD diagnoses? Thinking you have these conditions is kinda up there with thinking you have cancer. Until you are certain there's no value in speculating.

Thing is, we're not anxious about ‘the thing’ (whatever it might be), we’re anxious about our ability to cope with ‘the thing’. How we judge our ability to cope will depend at least partially on how big we perceive the current challenge to be. In the same way, a speck of dust can start to look like a monster through the lens of a microscope if we magnify it to a large enough degree, so our worries, concerns or anxieties can start to look life-threatening if we spend too much time focusing on them.

However, if we back away from a problem, and allow ourselves to stop thinking about it for a while, it’s surprising how quickly we can realise what we thought was a monster was just a speck of dust. Or just a twinge.

Talk to you GP about the mechanics of a OCD/ADHD diagnosis and what difference having that information may (or may not) make.

I really feel for you, health anxiety can make every little sensation feel frightening. It sounds like therapy is already a good step, so try to be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time. You’re not failing your son just because you’re struggling right now.

Ive suffered with health anxiety since my 20s and im late 40s now. I had therapy of various sorts but the only thing that has really helped me was Sertraline. It is a game changer. Wished I had asked for it sooner.

Its utterly draining and Im really sorry youre suffering because the all consuming spiral of anxiety separates us from our life and our loved ones.

Its horrible worrying like that all the time!
And its not helped by constant reminders like ads on tv etc I am the same when I feel the slightest pain, that is always my first thought, this is it its happening to me, I try and set myself a target when my mind reacts like that, so I say I will give my self a week before I panic and if it still hurts etc I will get it checked out.

I feel for you. I have struggled with this myself. At its worst I spent thousands on private mammograms, a private colonoscopy. Even now I continue to pay for annual mole checks and annual pelvic and liver scans.

The thing that helps me now is not searching. Pure distraction. It takes a couple weeks when I have a flare up for the constant worry and anxiety to pass but eventually it does go and I then typically get a good 6-12 months without another spike. Sometimes 18 months if I am lucky. If I have periods of actual stress, things get worse. So for instance this last few weeks, I have had my house sale fall through, my ceiling collapse, my son has been diagnosed with a serious yet fixable and benign tumour, my car has broken down, and I have slipped up in my career (nothing massive but something that I shouldn’t have been more careful with), and been diagnosed as perimenopausal as the age of 37. My Health anxiety has spiked despite having zero spikes for 18 months, I have convinced myself I am breathless, but I know I am giving myself air hunger. I have diagnosed myself with lung cancer, liver cancer, diaphragm cancer. I am genuinely now confused as to whether I am breathless or not which I know sounds stupid but the more I think about it the less I breathe properly.

it’s awful isn’t it i really wouldn’t wish it on anyone. i can’t even tell you the amount of HOURS iv spent on the internet, googling, chatgpt, i could actually be a doctor with all the knowledge i have?!
i actually considered paying for a full body MRI but i am pregnant so that won’t work. but believe when the baby is here i will be having one ANNUALLY just for my own sanity.
I am at the GP this friday and i already have a list of tests im asking for, he will probably laugh in my face but it’s worth the ask.

If you have health anxiety then tests won’t help. You may get temporary reassurance that nothing is wrong but the anxiety will just reassert itself another way shortly afterwards. Ask the GP for a CBT referral instead.

I really feel for you. Health anxiety can make every little ache feel terrifying, especially when you have a child and your mind goes straight to the worst-case scenario. Please be kind to yourself, and keep talking to your therapist about how much this is affecting your daily life. You’re not failing your son because you’re struggling.