Seeking experiences of ADHD assessment in adulthood after burnout

[Noreeen]

Apologies if this is not the correct section for this - I'm not sure if ADHD falls under mental health or not.

I've written to my GP (online "triage" form is now the only way to contact GP surgery) to request an ADHD assessment via the Right to Choose pathway.

I've long suspected I may have ADHD, but haven't ever really been fully compelled to do anything about it.

However recently, after a very difficult six months at work, everything has come to a head and I have completely and utterly burnt out. I've been signed off work and this has given me some much-needed space and time to think and assess where I am. And ultimately the time to think has led me to request an ADHD referral.

After I submitted it, I felt incredibly positive. But it's now been a few days and I'm starting to worry and doubt myself. So I wanted to come here to see if anyone else has been in a similar position and sought a diagnosis in adulthood (I'm in my forties)? I have used "Problem Shared" so any experience with them would also be useful.

For me I think the signs have always been there - lack of organisation, difficulty with time keeping, procrastination, ability to be incredibly focused on something I'm interested in (to the detriment of other things I should be doing), emotional dysregulation, inability to sit still (doodling in meetings, fiddling with jewellery, must be walking around if talking on the phone), memory issues, inability to focus on disinteresting tasks, always losing phone/keys, being incredibly easily sidetracked/distracted... I could go on.

For a large portion of my life, things were manageable but after having children everything has changed, in particular after my second child. I remember going back to work (I only work part time too - the shame!) after DC2 and wondering what the hell had happened to me, it was so hard. And I feel like things have only gotten harder since. I simply blamed "Baby Brain" for a long time.

Interestingly I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in my early twenties. I've recently learn that it is common for ADHD to be misdiagnosed as bipolar, particularly in women (and I'm obviously not bipolar - I've not been on meds or had any kind of medical intervention for over 20 years now).

I feel like all the pieces of a puzzle have finally come together, but on the other hand I have now convinced myself that I'm probably making it all up and the GP is going to refuse my request and think I'm a time waster.

I've also got an occupational health assessment for work booked later in the week which I'm worrying about too. I'm not sure what to say to them about it all.

Any handholds, (gentle) head wobbles or advice would be appreciated.

I got my ADHD diagnosis via RTC with ProblemShared, it took 6-8 months then about the same again to start titration and medication (I’m at that point now).
Was mostly smooth sailing but I didn’t have a rapport with the first assessor who seemed very “tick-box” about the whole thing, which really didn’t sit well with my literal thinking. First assessment showed strong current ADHD traits but because I had nobody to report my childhood they wouldn’t initially diagnose ADHD but also didn’t give any alternative diagnosis for my current struggles and traits. I asked for another assessment and got a supervisor to look into my case.
The supervisor did a second assessment and helped me really get into my childhood memories and talked to DH who’s known me for almost 30 years.
My advice is to get as much evidence from your childhood as you can. My mum doesn’t “believe” in ND despite showing strong ND traits so was no help, and she lost all my school reports. In terms of physical evidence I only have a copy of my birth certificate to prove my existence before adulthood.

Thanks @InMySpareTime - I appreciate your response. How was your GP in the process? Did you have a face to face appointment with them first?

I haven't mentioned anything to my parents yet. I am not sure what they will think. But they saw what I went through with my mental health difficulties when I was diagnosed as bipolar, so I would hope they would want to help me to get some answers at least. But they can be a bit funny about this sort of thing and my recollection of my childhood is very different to theirs, so we will see if/when we get to that point how that pans out.

I'm really sorry your mum wasn't helpful and that it made things more difficult for you. That sounds really hard.

Have you started medication now, or still waiting to?

Have you found anything aside from medication that helps at all?

Thanks again for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it.

I did e-consult with the GP (haven’t actually physically seen a GP in 8 years!) and they sorted the referral efficiently.
Started Elvanse last month, but it’s raised my Blood pressure and pulse, and my home BP readings are erratic (weird hypermobile veins) so I now have to actually physically see a GP about it in a couple of weeks’ time.
Meds stopped me crashing after activity, but raised my pulse so high (up to 160 from strolling) I could only do activities slowly anyway.
Since diagnosis I’ve been kinder to myself and getting better at listening to my body’s signals to meet my needs ASAP. Previous crashy me would deprioritise myself to the point of dehydration, shaking with hunger and exhaustion. I’m better at advocating for myself now, and DH is good at communicating my “need to leave now” facial expressions when I get overstimulated and nonverbal.
I got a Visible band to help track and pace my energy, so it tells me when I need a rest and what spikes my pulse rate.

If you think you have it, then you probably have. It's totally normal to doubt the existence of it, I was diagnosed in 2019 and I regularly think :

a) wow I'm cured look I managed to do XYZ (before realising I totally forgot ABC), or gosh if I just really tried a bit harder (than everyone else) I'd be able to crack that (regular routine / goal / constant messiness) etc. (and sometimes it's true...but can I sustain it, is it really me, no....)

b) ADHD is made up

c) total and utter frustration that everything is so hard

I'd say it's about 30% medication, 30% strategies (including nutrition and exercise and sleep as well as simplifying things), and, most disappointingly, 40% acceptance.

The acceptance part is good though - its about self compassion and its where the personal growth stuff happens...but it's uncomfortable!

Understandably, reaching this point has prompted you to seek some answers. ADHD Certify may be worth considering alongside other Right to Choose providers, based on waiting times and follow-up support. I hope the process gives you some clarity and helps you access the support you need.

Yes, ADHD do falls under mental health and as being a mental health professional, I would suggest you to get a diagnosis in order to identify your issues more accurately. Here is the website where you can reach out: adhdcertify.co.uk/ You can contact and they can guide you further. Hope this helps you!

I’m waiting on an assessment too OP. I saw my GP who agreed to refer me. I was offered RTC but was told that I could be offered an appointment anywhere in the country which put me off, I’m just on the standard waiting list now which is up to 4 years.
I'm worried about the childhood aspect, my mum only knows adhd in ‘naughty boys’ and because I was a well behaved quiet child I couldn’t possibly have it. Forgetting that I was away with the fairies, and unable to retain information most of the time. I also crashed on most of my GSCEs because I handed zero coursework in. She has her own memory issues now so I don’t think I could rely on her to give an accurate picture of me.
I'm still just as bad at getting things done now though, and with an ill partner (who I also strongly suspect has it), peri creeping up, and 2 small kids I’m losing my mind. I feel like I should be able to do it all, I’m not daft and I know how to, there’s just this block that stops me which I can’t explain.
No advice but a firm handhold.

All the best getting your assessment. How long have you been on the waiting list for now? It might be worth looking into RTC again, if you feel up to it, as I think a lot of the providers offer online assessments (video call) rather than face-to-face appointments.

I feel very similar to you right now. I am a mess and I'm dreading going back to work next week. And I don't have an unwell partner to deal with (although DH has his own "issues") so I take my hat off to you.

Thank you for the handhold, I'm right there holding yours in return.

Thanks. If I don't get anywhere with the GP and an NHS-funded assessment I will be investigating private options too.

Sorry you are having issues with the medication.
Obviously I'm a long way from this point, if I even get there... but med side effects are something that concern me I must admit.

I want to start putting other coping strategies in place but currently my head feels like it's full of wool and I can't focus on anything useful.

Thanks for your insight - that's really interesting and helpful.

The self-doubt is real and loud. Waiting for the GP to respond is driving me a bit crazy as well and giving me plenty of time to overthink things endlessly. Although the more I think the more I realise there is SO much that aligns with ADHD for me in my childhood and how I experience the world, emotions, etc. I had migraines with aura as a child/young adult and it turns out there's research to indicate people with ADHD are much more likely to suffer these types of migraines than those without.

Interesting that you should mention nutrition, exercise and sleep. These are things I have been actively working on this year. I was feeling a bit better and more on top of things, for a while, before I completely crashed and burned.

I mentioned possible ADHD to my mum and her response made me smile at least.

ADHD? You have always been a little unfocused but that's just part of you, is there any cure?!!

Im 45 and recently diagnosed via RTC
It was my mental health nurse who suggested exploring it
My mum filled in a questionnaire about my childhood and she is sceptical foo - she’s of the view that everything can be sorted through diet alone !!!!
My school reports commented on my effort exceeding my progress / attainment . I feel
cross at what I could have achieved had I had support (not a thing in the 80s)
I take elvanse on days i work (weekends and holidays i let my body catch up on sleep )
It helps keep me focussed and my emotions more regulated
I have also made lifestyle adaptations too - exercise helps , I limit caffeine and rarely drink .
I prioritise sleep and Im more assertive at boundaries / saying no !
My daughter is 21 and her symptoms are worse (more hyperactivity than me ) and she is starting the process too as she is struggling at uni .
I nearly cried when she told me she had struggled for so long x
Us women mask it so well .

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry to hear that your DD has been struggling. I hope she can get the support she needs.

I suspect my DD and possibly DS too may also have ADHD - they are both still primary age. I feel we might have an interesting road ahead of us!

As a mum , just push for what you believe / advocate for your kids !
Fortunately there is far better recognition / less stigma now

Thank you, I will.
The GP has accepted my request for a referral and so it is being processed now. Which is a relief as I thought I was going to have to spend time trying to convince them, but obviously what I sent through was convincing enough by itself.

I also had a really positive meeting with the occupational health therapist and she was very understanding and said to her it did sound a lot like I had ADHD. It's been put into a report for my employer so at least I don't have to tell them myself. I'm still exhausted, completely rung out, and the occupational health therapist advised I take more time off.