Feeling trapped abroad, overworked and isolated, how can I cope?

[Exquisitepeonies]

I will try to keep this shortish. I’m an expat in a European country. I moved here over a decade ago to get married. Three kids. I am unhappy. I hate everything about it here, the climate, the culture, the food, nothing tastes good.
I am struggling with the language and feel ashamed because I strongly believe you should assimilate and speak as well as you can, but I just can’t seem to manage it. I try, and people look blankly at me and speak English. I can’t attend language classes because of my job (long hours, can’t get into town on time.) I work for an international global megacorp type company who are working me to death. I often finish each day shaking with stress and it’s affecting my health. I have no friends. By which I mean none. Zero.
I have tried - I joined mum groups and they were just … awful. One or two queen bees and anyone who didn’t toe the line was mobbed. I don’t live anywhere I can meet people. School gate mums don’t talk to me. I’ve tried joining online groups and they’re full of people that are like the distillation of Reddit - hyper liberal, will not give any other opinion the time of day. I don’t really care about people’s politics, I think you should have your opinions and whatever, but people seem to rabidly go after anyone with even the slightest bit of wrong think. My husbands friends don’t like me. My in laws tolerate me as long as I’m perfectly behaved but they don’t like me either
I have grown more and more depressed, I’m losing weight, my hair is falling out and I’m anemic. I no longer see any future. I have begged my husband to move back to the uk and he won’t. We are barely speaking to each other. I am trying to be Vergil for the kids but one of them said the other night that she has never seen me happy and that broke my heart
If i get divorced I will lose my home and children and of course they are resident here so they stay here and I will be stuck here. I wouldn’t want to make them not see their dad anyway, so I am stuck.
I can’t afford a home anywhere near where we live and they go to school even though I have a decent job. I cannot afford to buy anywhere. Rental lists are three plus years long even on the grim bits of town. I am finding myself more and more shut down.
I look online and advice seems to be go out and socialise (with who exactly?) or go on antidepressive medication (nope.) if I go to the doctor and say I’m struggling they will probably lock me up. All the advice I see online is just … crap. I don’t HAVE a bunch of girlfriends to go out with. I don’t have TIME to do stuff because I work so many hours a day and do housework and the kids stuff.
How can I feel better? I think about growing old in this horrible place and it just fills me with despair. I have to function at work at a high level and at home (no bugger else does anything) . However nobody gives a toss and I have to sort myself out. Whining won’t help, and I have to pull my socks up and get on with it. What do, MN? Any advice that isn’t ’go on a spa day with your non existent girlfriends’ or ‘take drugs?’

Also, if you need someone to talk to, you can always contact a priest in the Swedish Church (Svenska Kyrkan). It's for everyone living in Sweden. You can reach a priest by contacting a congreation, or, during nighttime, calling 112 and asking for a priest (Jourhavande präst). It's confidential and free. All Swedish Church-priests can speak English.
I know not everyone wants to talk to someone from a church, but I wanted to write it anyway, in case of.
I hope things will look up for you soon, OP.

@SkaneTos i didn’t know 112 could connect you with a priest, that is interesting (what a good thing!). Swedish church is somewhat liberal for my liking but that is a suggestion I may take up, thank you.

As for volunteering - I say this kindly, but I don’t have time for such luxury
. My day starts at 5:30 when animals and children wake up. I am usually started with work by seven thirty, and I’m often still working at 9pm, after feeding everyone and getting back to it. Husband works as much and travels a lot. I do not have time to volunteer - I am absolutely exhausted, physically and mentally and that kind of thing I’m sure works well for the bored trailing spouses with much time on their hands but I cannot do it. One more demand on my time will break me completely.
My succession of disinterested GPs does that Swedish thing where they look puzzled and say ‘but your work should not do this’ and yes, I know, the lovely Swedish companies and the public sector I’m sure have lovely fika breaks and allow you to not be worked to death but in the real world, corporate wants its pound of flesh. ;) I can’t really tell them they live in a bubble so I smile and nod.
I know nature is Ok here in summer, we do try to get out, and I do insist people speak Swedish around me. I don’t make people speak English but I am at the point now where I’m just not speaking to anyone at all so that I can avoid The Look Of Disapproval I get. So I can go months without speaking to anyone at all. Which isn’t great, it’s avoidant and maladaptive but it is what it is
@XelaM im glad you got out. Corporate law is a special kind of hell and more than one of our counsels have had breakdowns. Tough job, for sure.
I am looking for something different - what I don’t want to do is move reactively away from my job rather than towards something better. It has to be a planned move that will take me either up the ladder or a total lateral move to a different area. I did that (move companies) previously and in retrospect I don’t think it was a good move. I didn’t leverage it enough. So I am actively looking, and I’m constrained by the fact I’m in Sweden - anything local wants very good Swedish (which is fair enough, they should, ) and anything international is corporate - but corpo hiring right now is in a slump and this is a very expensive country to hire in, my industry is outsourcing heavily to India and Eastern Europe and cutting western roles. I can’t really PL about what I do, but it’s niche enough that jobs aren’t ten a penny. Hopefully something will come up but I’m not jumping ship for the sake of it . I have a job that pays the bills and I am grateful for that.
@bestestwestest excluding any kind of deus ex machina stuff, my other half would accept a job back home (he won’t) and I’d move back. Kids would be happily settled in some nice school and life would plod along in its usual fashion. However this is not going to happen, and I need to cope with it.
The priest suggestion is a good one. I will check out my nearest local place, I did actually go and see if the church a few miles away was open a while back but they’re always locked up and I dont know what the etiquette here is for bothering people (it’s a mortal sin here to make eye contact with strangers, never mind push yourself on someone, lol..)
God usually provides, one way or another, although the lessons can be severe, and carry on until learned. I appreciate your input, thank you