Can I ask about your experiences with antidepressants?

[Coffeeisnotmycupoftea]

I didn't want to put this on the Mental Health board as I assume most people on there are in my position and needing help, I wanted to ask this as an all round question to not only people in full mental health crisis right now but also those who may have found themselves on the other side and feeling well again.

I think that I need to try anti-depressants but every time I try I am wracked with fear to the point that I just can't do it. I know I need to grow up but I am genuinely paralyzed with fear.

As I type this I appreciate that it must seem ridiculous to many people and I am fully aware that it is more than likely my poor mental health talking me out of it all but I just can't do it.

It's not about the stigma of mental health medication, I honestly couldn't give a toss about that, nor is it the fear of being 'hooked' on these meds because tbh, if they were to change my life for the better I would be more than content to be on them for life.

It's how I feel now and the fear of being made to feel worse by the drugs. Anti-depressants appear to have such a reputation for awful side effects and sufferers having to push through feeling much worse before they feel better and this could be weeks to months. I just don't think I could cope feeling any worse than I already do. I have daily gut issues which completely control my life (and yes, I have tried everything else, literally everything to ease these issues), my anxious state of mind is high 24/7, I have visceral hypersensitivity so feel everything stronger than I probably should do (every ache, pain, weird sensation in my body), my health anxiety is dreadful and the worst it has ever been, not helped by the fact I am 53 and in perimenopause/menopause and have a heap of added issues including endometriosis and adenomyosis (HRT made this worse) and helping to care for an elderly parent with advanced dementia - I am exhausted and mentally spent. I am also waiting for surgery for the gynae issues and due to my heightened state of anxiety, I just don't think I can go through with it right now.

I am a hot mess, as they say. I acknowledge this and know full well that I need to make changes and have tried really hard by living as healthy a lifestyle as I can but it's doing sod all for my mental health (and physical it seems). No amount of living well, meditating, counselling and/or cbt is cutting it.

Yet I sit here staring at the bottle of fluoxetine my GP prescribed 2 months ago knowing full well it will more than likely end up in the cupboard with the out of date tablet form of Fluoxetine, the box of Citalopram from 2022, and the Amitriptyline and Sertraline because I am so terrified of any side effects especially a worsening of my gut issues which have taken over my life and made me fearful of going out in case I might suddenly need the loo etc. All the side effects list everywhere for AD state diarrhoea and nausea as the most reported side effect and I just can not risk a worsening of that (and Imodium makes my stomach issues worse before anyone suggests taking it at the same time).

I asked for the liquid form of Fluoxetine because I thought, maybe, I could go in at a really low dose and build up but even that has me in a panicky meltdown whenever I have tried to take it.

I am so fucking angry with myself......so angry.

Please tell me about your experiences with antidepressants, did they help you get a life back on track? Did they not help? Did they make you feel worse than before? Just how can I get over this overwhelming fear of the side effects? I know we are all different and each experience with antidepressants is unique but I don't know what else to do.

On my last anti psychotic I certainly wanted sex and had just started dating my boyfriend when I was on them.

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I know that I need something, whatever that is. I've been depressed and very anxious for decades and haven't really enjoyed life for many years and now, with the addition of years of perimenopause, physical health issues and my caring duties it is unbearable and life has little meaning.

I find it hard to understand my hesitance with ADs seeing that my life is being held back so very much by all the above issues. I spend most of my life at home (when I'm not at my parents) because I have no desire to do anything enjoyable. You would think that would be the push, the desire to get better yet it appears my brain has a 'the better the devil you know' attitude rather than try a different way to live as scary as that is. I struggle so much with constant fear over everything.

I'll also ask for this to be moved to the MH board.

It's interesting that you have insight to question your hesitance. I wonder if that might actually be a symptom of depression - that it is extremely difficult to start or do anything new when you are depressed. Maybe it's not "you" being hesitant, but your depression imposing an extra barrier.

Hi I have been on a variety of things over the years (for context I have a diagnosis of bipolar type 2) I am currently not in a good place but I just wanted to offer an opinion based on experience
the main one is that it’s hard to predict how you react to antidepressants as what could be the best thing ever for one person may have intolerable side effects for another so it’s always a case of ‘suck it and see’ really. That said, there are definitely ones with less reported side effects so that are classed as being generally better tolerated.
i was thinking of mirtazipine when you mentioned anxiety and bad tummy - that one was great for me when I had insomnia, anxiety and poor appetite/churning stomach. It’s kind of renowned for weight gain which puts a lot of people off but it really got me out of a hole. I think fluoxetine is quite ‘activating’ so probably would be something that would flip me personally into not sleeping etc but if you’re in a general funk it might be great for you x

I felt exactly like this before starting antidepressants, I was convinced they’d make everything worse and kept putting it off. In the end I started on a very low dose and built up slowly, and for me the side effects were much milder than I’d feared and settled after a short while. It wasn’t an instant fix, but it did take the edge off enough for me to feel more like myself again. It might be worth speaking to your GP about a really gradual plan so you feel a bit more in control of it.

I took my first sertraline last night after looking at them for 6 months … I weaned myself off Citalopram when I retired into lockdown and was so pleased BUT, since Christmas I have been so so low, panic attacks ( got Propanol for those) and absolutely no joy in anything. I have lots to be joyful about but also ongoing stress as a carer.
I told myself that if I felt no better by BHM then I’d go back on them, albeit different ones.
I read so much on here about “ side affects, life changing, give them a chance” and was feeling so unhappy that I though I’d go for it and wean myself off again if need be.
I took bedtime last night, as recommended on here to avoid some of the side effects. Felt a bit groggy when I woke and a bit queasy but that all wore off. I’m going to persevere, I’ve got 50mcg so might go alternate days this week and increase next. I’ll try to update further down the line 🤞🏻🫶🏻

My experience is that once you start, you can't stop.

Been on them 18 years. Tried to stop but the withdrawals are horrendous.

Oh I’m 4 sessions in to CBT on the phone… most of which I do anyway. Think mine is childhood trauma based

Honestly, this doesn’t sound ridiculous at all—it sounds like you’ve been through so much that even the chance of feeling worse feels unbearable. A lot of people are terrified before starting, and going really low and slow can make it gentler than you’re imagining. Maybe don’t force it all at once, just take it one tiny step at a time, at your pace.

I’ve been in quite a few over years and some haven’t been too bad to come off. Venlefaxine is one of the bad ones but I think it’s often related to half life so if it’s a long half life tablet then theoretically it’s a bit less rough in terms of side effects x

I’m no expert as I am a mental health disaster zone at the minute but I think that doing 25mg daily would give you a smoother transition than 50 every other day just as it will peak then drop and peak then drop at 50 every other day rather than a steady stream at a lower dose of 25 daily if that makes sense? X

I had a breakdown during lockdown. Fluoxetine saved my sanity but yes, it was rough for 4 weeks. However, I felt so dreadful anyway that feeling worse was kind of blurred.
Take the meds and feel normal again. Accept you might feel crapper temporarily, don't fight it.

150mg sertraline +pluralistic therapy stopped the 100mph thought patterns and dissecting situations from every angle and once that was concluded replace it with another.
Stopped me going to worst case scenario and constantly repeating myself to DW.

Sorry to hijack this, but someone mentioned up thread about taking sertraline with no sexual problems, has anyone else experienced this?

Can I ask what you mean by half life? I've not heard that before.

They really didn't suit me. I felt worse. I won't touch them these days.

Look on the website surviving antidepressants. There is a raft of information . Ad’s are the biggest mistake I made. Drs push them with little idea of the side effects and the nightmare of coming off them. I am 18 months from my last tablet snd still having withdrawal effects . If possible try talking therapy and CBT. ,fresh air and exercise. Natural endorphins versus medication induced hell. They tell you they rebalance chemicals in your brain, they don’t they destroy cells on a molecular level and rebuilding them takes time Years! Even many drs are questioning the prescribing of AD’s. People will tell you they need them , the reason for that is when you try to stop the symptoms are anxiety and depression amongst other physical symptoms. Don’t do it !!

It’s basically how long the meds stay in your system. So some drugs will have a short half life meaning your body processes it and it leaves the system quickly. So for example venlefaxine is quite short so needs twice daily or more dosing (unless you get extended release which is a different kettle of fish) to keep a consistent level. Something else may have a really long half life - some as long as 70 odd hours or whatever meaning they leave the system more gradually. These are typically easier to come off as they don’t metaphorically drop you off a cliff as they don’t abruptly leave the ststem. Vortioxetine has a long half life for example and I came off that very easily. Some people say venlefaxine is nightmare to withdraw from but I never managed to stay on it more than few days as it made me bloody ill.

Which medication are you on? X

My experience is, the people I know that took them it helped enormously, but the first 2 to 3 weeks were very hard. It actually made the anxiety worse initially but things evened out and they were so much better then.

I know 2 people who stayed on them and are happy to stay in them, all the others came off them no problem and would highly recommend them.

The person I know with the worst anxiety, their doctor prescribed Xanax for the first two weeks to help with the anxiety of taking them.

This worked very well for them. would that be an option for you?

All the very best to you x x

That makes sense. Thankyou for the detailed explanation.

Citalopram

Same! It's been absolutely wonderful to feel happiness and enjoyment again.

I'm definitely very depressed.

I have suffered from anxiety since I was a small child and depression since my late 30's (now 53). I have had several losses over the last few years and caring for my mum the last 8 years has left me very low. I feel it's a combination of both that's stopping me tbh, anxiety because I stress so much over my health and worry the meds will cause me more diarrhoea/upset stomach which I don't cope with or it will exacerbate my migraines or just leave me feeling weird and spaced out which panics me even more and I suppose the depression leaves me with a 'can't be bothered to change' feeling, even though deep down I desperately do want to change.

Thank you so much for your advice. I definitely don't want anything which will affect my sleep, although I do have issues with sleeping on/off, in general I do sleep ok and feel it's my one saving grace, if I have bad days with my sleep I can feel dreadful for days.

I have been offered Mirtazipine, my mum was on it for years and it worked well for her, I did turn down the offer though as I had read about the weight gain and I have had issues with my weight and eating for years (I have ARFID) so I am not sure if it would be good for me right now but I will definitely look into it some more, thanks.

Good luck with them, I really hope they help you

How are you feeling this morning?