How long have you been feeling this way? Have you spoken to anyone about it at all? You mentioned work - do you have any colleagues that you are friendly with that maybe you could text just to have someone to chat to (you absolutely don’t need to tell them how you are feeling so you don’t share your medical information, but sure if you messaged someone and said Happy Easter and ask if they have any plans today, they would talk to you).
Do you have any family that you can talk to, or that you could explain to them how you are feeling?
If if would help you, would you like to talk to us on here about what’s going on, how you feel, etc. No pressure, but if you think it would help there may be other people on here who have gone through similar that can talk about what’s helped them, or if it’s situation that feels hopeless, maybe we can help you talk it through and look for solutions.
On the face of it, it sounds like you could be in a very deep depression. Have you ever spoken to a medical professional about this? It could be that talking therapy might help you, maybe CBT, maybe medication - there’s probably other things that can help too. When we are in a deep depression, we need help getting out. It’s not something that we can just “cheer up” from or “fake it til you make it” - and that’s not anything to be ashamed of. Sadly there’s no quick fix, but there is hope and help available if you’re prepared to give it a go.
You might think you have no-one, but I promise you there’s at least one person out there that would miss you if you weren’t here. I know when I’ve been depressed I’ve assumed I have no real friends, that I’m just a burden, they’d be better without me and no-one would notice if I’m gone. Antidepressants helped me. B12 injections also helped me (my depression turned out to be a symptom of a B12 deficiency). Once I was feeling better I realised my brain was working to keep me in that depressive state - and it’s likely yours is too. It’s definitely worth getting an urgent doctors appointment (if you can call 111 you can likely get one today even) and the dr will be able to arrange for any tests needed, prescribe you anti depressants (be aware that these can take a couple of weeks to start working), get you on waiting lists for therapy etc.
You said that you work - does your employer offer an employer assistance program? If they do, you can likely access therapy through that a lot faster. If you work in anything to do with the Grocery trade, look up GroceryAid - you can access free therapy through that. As an aside, you won’t be asked to prove that you work for a company in the Grocery trade… so should you contact them and say you work for Tesco and want to access the counselling, you should be able to do that without having to prove it (caveat - for the couples therapy you do have to prove it, but that doesn’t sound like it applies here, and if you look at their other services, you would have to prove you work for someone in the grocery sector if you bc applied for the financial help - but everything else is available to anyone who claims to be working for an eligible company).
Sorry for going on, and please ignore anything not relevant!