To be hurt about how I was spoken to by a&e nurse

[Tellmewhy77]

She said to me don’t come to hospital. So I replied what else was I meant to do if I needed treatment for a self harm related injury. She replied “do something normal” I know the are under pressure and I’m never abusive and just sit and wait so I don’t really feel she had any right to be so horrible

What do they say?

Exactly. I imagine OP is feeling a lot worse about herself after posting here. Thanks to a few pp’s.

@Tellmewhy77 please don't feel you have to give details to the horrible people on this thread. You shared quite enough for anyone who knows anything about decent healthcare to know that how you were treated was very wrong.

You are right!

I was trying to show compassion for everyone involved but I don't think that is helpful on this thread. I hope you feel better soon OP. Please step away if this thread is making you feel bad in any way.

She’s just said she is not abusive. As a ex nurse there is NEVER an excuse for being so horrible to someone who has self harmed. You don’t solve the problem being dismissive. Unfortunately as attitudes on this thread go there is still a long way to go changing perceptions over mental health. One of the reasons I left nursing was because unfortunately there were far too many people who shouldn’t be anywhere near other people but because they could write a cracking essay were lauded as top of the class.

I’m so sorry you’re in this position. My DD went through SH issues including overdoses when she was early teens, mostly it’s been cutting, but whatever it is, it’s not acceptable what the nurse said to you and I’d complain through PALS
have you tried contacting any charities who offer support? My DD had lots of help and support through Harmless, it was free and really helpful to her (she has what we now know is autism, but she was masking for years and not coping, existential crisis where things just went south, very quickly.) Harmless were brilliant so please try them or another similar support mechanism.

are you by any chance near Nottingham? If so I can recommend some other places we’ve found - look after yourself, and try to keep yourself safe

I’m sorry op, and sorry about some of the responses which seem like they were harsh

hope you are safe now x

Op sorry you’re struggling, could she have been clumsy and meant something like make a cup of tea or watch telly?

I think she was really unkind but I also think it’s a symptom of how the NHS is. A&E is really busy & overwhelmed at the best of times, so people coming in frequently for injuries they’ve given themselves adding to the queue probably feels very frustrating but equally if the proper MH support was available in the first place these instances would be less frequent.

So.....you were discharged from the OD visit but you were back in A+E a few hours later? Was that in relation to the overdose or something else? Either way I think you do have to contact either your MH liaison worker or simply your GP - repeated visits to A+E are far too precarious a route to the help you obviously need.

Most people who repeatedly attempt suicide eventually succeed.
In 2023, there was an average of 19 suicides per day in the UK, who knows how many attempts were made during that period in 2023.
Do most people don’t survive an attempt and get better because services aren’t available to help them recovery,

I’m so sorry, MH support is an absolute disgrace in this country (see my post on MH forum). They are culpable I would imagine for many, many deaths.
To those who are surprised you got no crisis support afterwards, you have no idea! There is literally nothing out there.
OP, I did a course on self harm online today. Hearing other’s experiences made me realise how badly people are being let down.

Goodness OP that is horrendous.

My first thought when i read your post was do you have a diagnosis of Borderline personality disorder/EUPD. I wondered that because unfortunately people suffering from BPD are sometimes wrongly seen as attention seekers even by medical staff and it might explain the nurse's horrible attitude towards you.

In my understanding medical staff have to be a little careful not to inadvertently encourage people with BPD to self harm again by being very caring in a way that the patient then wants to experience again - but that wasn't what this nurse did. She was just unnecessarily rude.

There is also the view that people with BPD attempt suicide with no intention of actually dying, this though is not something that anyone should assume because it is not correct. Several attempts may be made but 5-10% of people with BPD do end up successfully committing suicide.

Apologies if I've got that wrong OP and you aren't suffering from BPD, it might be that the nurse had just had a shit day and was taking it out on you. I really hope you get some supportive help that works for you, you're obviously in a great deal of pain.

She can section herself..... its very hard to.have someone sectioned, self sectioning is far easier.

Absolute nonsense

😂😂 if only!!

It’s not quite as simple as this poster suggests but OP really needs to present at GP and request a MHA assessment.

Am really sorry to hear that, did your family call the ambulance this time? Maybe going to live with them for a time would be beneficial?

is there someone who could advocate with you for supported housing?

I would Hope that from this 2nd attempt whoever found op and the ambulance report that absolutely the crisis team will be involved?

Self sectioning??? This is a new one on me.

Op, the nurse should have been more professional. She should have been more careful how she spoke to you. But surely some part of you realises that multiple episodes of self-harm and self-presentation to emergency services seem almost designed to engineer an eventual expression of frustration from the people whose attention yo are working so hard to achieve -- an eventual, withholding "No"? I know that you can't help this behaviour, and that you fully deserve help and support with it. But it must be evident to you how pressuring it must feel to professionals who are extremely overstretched?

@Tellmewhy77I’m not surprised the nurse was rubbing your shoulder and offering biscuits in the circumstances when you were readmitted having made a further attempt on your life triggered by her unprofessional comments. Please report. You needed support but got dangerous judgement.

My husband, me, both our daughters have all requested one for me recently and been denied.

OP, I’m so sorry about how she spoke to you. Are you okay at this moment? I hope you can get some professional support as your mental health sounds extremely bad. Please don’t stop seeking help.