To be hurt about how I was spoken to by a&e nurse

[Tellmewhy77]

She said to me don’t come to hospital. So I replied what else was I meant to do if I needed treatment for a self harm related injury. She replied “do something normal” I know the are under pressure and I’m never abusive and just sit and wait so I don’t really feel she had any right to be so horrible

I hope you’re kinder to your animal
patients than this. Where is your compassion? People don’t self harm for fun. They are just as welcome and deserving of NHS care as anyone else.
Where would you draw the line for those deserving of care? Alcohol related injuries or issues? Nope not allowed. You chose to drink. Drug? Deffo not. Losers. Pregnancy related sickness or pain? Well you did choose to carry a baby… How about heart attacks brought on by stress? Self inflicted surely you should have just calmed down and done yoga. (But don’t hurt your back doing yoga or you’ll also be sent away) Road accidents caused by dangerous driving or excessive speed? Stay there in your wrecked car and die or bleed out…
@VeterinaryCareAssistant you really should rethink.

@Tellmewhy77 good nurses would not and should not act in this way. You are deserving of compassion and care. Xx

While I can sympathise with the OP...I also have huge sympathy with staff faced with a multi attender who they have little resources to help.
The OP sounds like she is scared, unsupported and doesn't have coping skills, so self harms to try to soothe those feelings.
The self harm requires attention from professionals...which is sub consciously what the OP wants ..it's just the wrong professionals.
Sadly we just don't have resources to keep people out of a&e who are in this position.
OP...are you BPD ? These patients are poorly served by mental health services but also take huge resources from A&,E .

No I don’t if it’s superficial I care for it at home.

It doesn’t matter how an injury occurs, a&e are there to help you.

If you broke your ankle whilst drunk would you not go to a&e?

OP, I’m sorry that you are feeling so bad about life, the nurse should not speak to any patient with such little compassion, if she is overwhelmed, overworked, she shouldn’t take it out on a sick patient when they are vulnerable and causing harm to themselves.
I really hope that you find the support you need, you most definitely won’t find it on this thread, the lack of empathy is awful.

Hi all,
We are moving this thread to Mental Health, where we feel it should get a proper hearing. Please could we remind everyone that we have particular boards for good reason.

You should be ashamed of this comment.
The op is clearly struggling and doesn’t need your ill judged comment.

So, did you take the overdose with the express intent of heading straight to A&E afterwards?
What did you take and what quantity?
Did you see the crisis team whilst there?

It must be very trying for staff when someone has planned to self harmed just to head up to A&E. And I assume the overdose you took wasn’t nearly enough to cause damage if it was just to get some attention rather than to actually end your life. Staff are under enormous pressure, and I can see why someone, in a bad moment, would let that frustration at this sort of behaviour slip out of but it doesn’t make it acceptable. She can’t speak to people like that because then someone may not seek medical help when they have really gone too far and really need the help. However, you should be seeking real help and not just doing “enough” to be able to go to A&E.

That's awful. I do not understand how someone can say that? It's not like a GP or pharmacist can help you if you've taken an overdose?! What the fuck is abnormal about going to hospital when you could be life threateningly poisoned?

I hope you complained. I also hope you're feeling better and are getting some MH based support. X

Seeking real help???
What real help do you think is out there?

I think a GP would have a very stern word with someone that wasted an appointment for just a regular headache if they weren't suspecting it was a symptom of some wider issue. Right so too! Ultimately we simply don't have the resources to deal with people misusing NHS resources.

It sounds like there is far more to OP's story than she is letting on. She is obviously in a fragile mental state and I don't want to upset her further but would simply ask her to ponder why the nurse may have spoken to her in that way. It would be very unusual for a health professional to talk to a patient in that way. I'm not saying it didn't happen but it's worth considering what happened up to that point.

@SargeMarge
And I assume the overdose you took wasn’t nearly enough to cause damage if it was just to get some attention rather than to actually end your life.

Have you ever stopped to consider just how nonexistent / poor services are at listening, for someone to desperately resort to self-harm to try to convey how they feel? Rather than simply being able to tell the services and receive help.

I sometimes wonder if mental health services actually exist, or treatment (beyond medication) actually exists. Or is it just a list of reasons people "aren't suitable" for services? (I only know one person who managed to get suitable therepy, and that was via eating disorder service, not the general mental health one.) A friend ended up completing suicide after many self-harm "cries for help" that were dismissed. She gave up trying.

There is also the issue that people may act in one confused moment and then regret it or change their mind later. It doesn't help that asking or googling for any advice tells you to go to A&E and dramatises everything. When what's needed is lower-key, ongoing, stable support.

I'm so sorry you're in this position OP.

Why do you assume that? I usually don’t call for help myself it’s usually when I don’t respond friends and family do so I took responsibility this time and did. Being as I hardly ever call for help help I could have quite easily died multiple times I’ve been found blue in the past or even choked on my own vomit.

@Bargepole45 I am fairly certain you don't work in health care because unfortunately NO it is not at all unusual for people who have mental health problems to be spoken to like this. It is outrageous. It is absolutely not the job of the nurse to judge the behaviours of those who present in need. They are expected to treat them in a compassionate, non judgmental way. No exceptions. A person attending A and E with symptoms of a mental health crisis are very much deserving of that, regardless of number of presentations.

Didn’t walk was an ambulance

Don’t get offered therapy or crisis support

Pushed over the edge by death and destruction some days it’s inevitable that you run out of empathy!

Did they admit you for the overdose? What had you taken?

Who alerted the emergency services this time?

So many self harming people succeed in ending their life, the crying out for help is dismissed, downplayed and ignored.
My son’s friends mother successfully ended her life after many rejections from a&e, lack of aftercare, the cost to this child’s future is unmeasurable, with the right treatment he’d have his mammy, the cycle will continue.

were you discharged, made a further attempt and readmitted?
and no contact to crisis team or psych liaison?
Have you had the discussion that if you had the supported living accommodation you want this may reduce your admissions?

I never said OP wasn't worthy of compassion or professionalism because she was going through a mental health crisis. My point was that she has given very little context or detail about what happened leading up to that particular exchange. Healthcare workers are human and we have no idea what OP was saying or doing at the time. Does that make it ok? No, but we also need to be realistic about what we can expect of our front line staff who are frequently put under immense pressure. You might have noticed we aren't exactly inundated with people wanting to work these kinds of roles so pretending there are loads of superhumans in the wings ready to take over from someone that has perhaps had a bad moment just simply isn't realistic. You don't know how that staff member may have been provoked.