To be hurt about how I was spoken to by a&e nurse

[Tellmewhy77]

She said to me don’t come to hospital. So I replied what else was I meant to do if I needed treatment for a self harm related injury. She replied “do something normal” I know the are under pressure and I’m never abusive and just sit and wait so I don’t really feel she had any right to be so horrible

I am so very very sorry that you are feeling so bad right now. I think it’s best to just think the nurse was having a bad day and spoke without thinking properly, it’s not going to help you to focus on this. Please, please just be kind to yourself and know that people do care, even strangers on the internet xxx

”Do something normal” could be interpreted in different ways - we are all jumping to the implication that having mental health problems is ‘not normal’ and that this was therefore said in a derogatory way. If that’s the case of course it’s awful.

It could have also meant ‘do something ordinary/ you usually do’ as in watch tv or read or whatever, do something to take your mind off of things.

Without knowing the full context and knowing the ‘tone’ of the conversation it’s impossible to say, and somebody in a distressed state may misinterpret things.

Hope you are doing better now OP

That is a disgusting way to speak of an individual in distress. Your post is getting reported.

Absolutely upsetting reading some of the comments on this thread. It's a sheer lack of knowledge around self harm that's causing it. Absolutely ignorant folk out with their pitch forks. Can't wait to stick the boot in.

Keep talking OP, people in this world are able to show compassion and will offer support ❤️

@CombatBarbie I assume you mean voluntary admission which is very different to being detained under the MHA. It’s also anything but easy, with very few beds available and long waits for admission.

Given the number of times OP has done this it's unfair to pin all the blame on the nurse.

Its unacceptable. I'm a MH nurse. Understanding of self-harm is piss poor. People self-harm for all kinds of different reasons. Self-harm usually happens when people are acutely distressed, can't think straight, and have no other means of self-soothing. Most people do not understand because they can't fathom it. It goes against all biological instinct to physically harm yourself, so imagine how distressed someone must be to override that. I will openly say that I self-harmed through cutting for years. I never needed A&E (and indeed many self-harmers manage their own wounds), but self-harmers are often treated like shit within A&E. The research literature on people's experiences and staff's attitudes backs this up. I did not self-harm for attention, or to manipulate. I was young, couldn't cope with my childhood abuse, and undiagnosed neurodivergent. Perhaps unconsciously people do want attention, but all human beings need attention and care. If someone is desperate enough to self-harm for attention, then perhaps consider showing them some care and compassion.

I've not read all the posts on here, and I don't need to to know that OP is likely a young woman with trauma history who has been given the unfortunate label of BPD, which makes every health service treat you like crap 🤷 sorry if I'm wrong and I'm being very cynical in this case, but my experience tells me it's probably a fair assumption.

It's also all well and good saying 'get help for your mental health'. What help? I work in MH services. Good quality, long-term help, is not easy to come by. And if you have a trauma background, good luck accessing any meaningful support for it.

Sorry if I sound fuming, I just hate the way people who self-harm are treated in health services. Yes I'm sure it's frustrating as A&E staff to treat people with avoidable injuries, but these people are distressed and suffering.

If OP did not need A&E (which they may not have if it was a minor overdose), an appropriate response would have been to refer to Mental Health Liaison, or offer safety netting numbers. And in all honesty, it costs nothing to chat to someone for 10 mins, listen, and show them kindness. That's sometimes all people need.

In a final note, people on here need to stop already misinformation about suicide. It's very common to overdose and then seek help and regret it. It also doesn't mean someone isn't truly suicidal because they've sought help, wtf.

I think this thread needs deleting for OPs well-being and due to misinformation around suicide and suicide attempts. Imagine reading this dumpster fire tonight if you are struggling or support someone who struggles.

OP, I wish you well and I'm sending hugs.

I was recently with a family member when he had a cardiac arrest. It was completely horrific but I saw all the interventions by paramedics and the resus team. There was no waiting at reception when our ambulance arrived, that’s for sure! Amazingly he survived but it’s been quite the miracle.

In a way, I can understand how A&E staff might become disillusioned when they see crises like this happen but also deal with people who have what might be described as ‘self inflicted’ injuries. But when it comes to mental health, it’s not ‘self inflicted’ at all - it’s a symptom (just like chest pain is of a heart attack) of a bigger problem. Not all staff are able to always make the distinction though.

A&E staff are usually general practitioners trained to deal with a wide variety of illnesses so while this was an awful experience for OP, I hope she was able to get specialist help from someone who really understands. The nurse shouldn’t have made that comment. A&E staff should be better trained. The NHS should be better resourced - so many ‘should haves’.

Either way OP, I hope you’re able to access the help you need. There is hope and you can get through this.

How do you know how many times I have “done this” do you have access to my medical records

Well you've said n your posts it wasn't the first time.

Hi @Tellmewhy77I had to go to ED recently for stroke symptoms.. I actually overheard the nurse in charge saying that she didn’t want to speak to me because of my medical history! (I have Schizoaffective Disorder, autism & epilepsy). Which made me feel very paranoid.
Some medical staff can be very prejudiced but not all. I just think in ED it’s very busy and staff get cynical. I’ve been on the other side and been redeployed there as a health care assistant a while ago, I’ve tried my best for every patient, because I know what it’s like to feel discriminated against.
While I was unwell in ED, a young woman came in who was clearly undergoing a mental health crisis, it seemed she was a frequent attendee from what the nurses were saying, and it was actually the security guard who showed her the most compassion as she did kick off at having to sit with other people so he found her a quiet corner.

I know that you self harm - I used to tend towards self harm when I was younger but it was actually working in healthcare and seeing the results that stopped me.
For example when you self harm you are at risk of longer term consequences which you would regret such as sepsis, cellulitis & abscesses from cutting; kidney, liver or heart damage from overdose; if hanging goes wrong you could deprive yourself too long of oxygen and cause some brain damage.
So you have to try to think of ways you can ‘self soothe’. It is really hard.

I know living alone is difficult as I live alone- I have a kitten now and honestly if you can get a pet (bear in mind the costs involved and how long they can live obviously) it would benefit you because you can focus on them. If not maybe look towards some voluntary work, doing this helped one of my friends who was discharged from psych ward.

Good luck xx

Also there are some very unempathetic people on this thread with no idea about mental illness please ignore them @Tellmewhy77

OP I hope you’re ok, the nurse was completely out of line to say that and I’m sorry you were met with that response

I’m also sorry for some of these replies on here, some people don’t know how lucky they are to not understand these issues

maybe start another thread another time, plenty of us will be there to support you

I'm so sorry for your experience. Schizoaffective Disorder and and other psychotic illnesses are highly stigmatised and misunderstood.

General nurses and other health care practitioners imo need mandatory training on these illnesses, given how many people with mental illness present at A&E (in an ideal world, they wouldn't need to, but NHS MH services are not fit for purpose). It's appalling they didn't want to speak to you due to your medical history. People with SMI diagnoses are statistically likely to die younger and have more physical health problems. This is due to a multitude of reasons, such as socio-economic factors, some strong drugs with high side effect burden, and then due to the fact physical symptoms get attributed to mental illness, so things get missed. It's unacceptable. We're supposed to have parity of esteem and training needs to be better.

You absolutely cannot section yourself 😂 there is a such thing as informal admission, where when you have capacity, you can make a joint decision around hospital admission. You can only be detained by an AMHP and two sectioning drs (usually one from your MH team, then an additional one).

I guarantee absolutely no one is rolling up to their GPs or anywhere else and getting admitted just because they want to. Sometimes there are no beds in the entire country. To be admitted, you need to be posing a very significant risk to yourself or others, or have a rapidly relapsing SMI (such as Bipolar). No one can just decide they'd like to go into hospital on a mental health ward. Even if you do want that, mental health professionals would need to agree to it. Detention under the MH act is an absolute last resort. Unfortunately chronic suicidal ideation is not enough to get you detained.

Source: I'm a MH nurse

This is the second time I'll say this, but I truly think this thread needs deleting due to misinformation and because of the harm to others reading it due to judgemental attitudes around mental illness.

If your child self-harmed/has taken overdoses, would you want them stumbling across some of the comments on here?

Some of the comments on this thread are awful. As someone is has and has had poor mental health for years, I'm appalled. I went through a stage very similar to OP and was a frequent flier at my local A&E. I was (and still am) mentally unwell, I didn't know my arse from my head at that time and it was the only way I thought I could get help, or someone to listen to me. No one ever said anything like that to me and honestly everyone was always so understanding and caring.

I imagine OP might be feeling worse now due to some of these comments. Mental health is so poorly understood, if you've never experienced a mental health issue or been in a crisis, unless you are being kind and offering support then just don't comment 🤦

You didn't deserve that treatment OP and honestly I wouldn't read too much into it, she may have just not been very understanding and some nurses I've heard just don't have alot of empathy at all.

Big hugs.

And?? So what if she did? That makes it okay does it??

Why on earth do you think that is an appropriate question to ask?

What are the current politics around self harming...do they just let you do it because is part of your mental health routines or do you have to record it and share it or how this really works....I am not understanding your post. You self harmed, then called the doctors....why did you self harm?

Are you for real? So because OP may or may not have done this loads of times- it warrants a complete lack of empathy and care? By someone who's literal job is to provide care and empathy? Acting like this behaviour by this nurse was justified?? If OP had posted and said she was in A and E for something else, say a broken leg or a deep wound, you would probably be flaming the nurse but because it's for a MH issue and a possible SAttempt, it justifies it? You sound unhinged

I’m assuming this was to my reply as been deleted

I was trying to say maybe why the nurse acted the way she did (which was wrong and unprofessional)

maybe she recognised op if been there many times before

who knows unless ask the a&e or report her to pals

op obv needs help as all these attempts are a cry for help

Unhinged? Stop it 🙄

Yes..unhinged. Anyone looking for a way to justify this nurses actions need their head checking.