Have you ever told a manager about your mental health?

[CarrotCrusader]

I have told mine. Nothing was done about the stuff that was affecting my MH (workloads and too little staff to support). Told another big boss and asked for reassurance of what was going to happen on a certain day which was different from the norm and explained it was because I have severe anxiety. He did explain what was going to happen and I thanked him but now I'm thinking allsorts and that he's going to think I'm incapable and not resilient. It would be good to hear your experiences.

No but I work in HR and have seen what managers say behind closed doors, a lot of the time it isn't pretty. Id say more react negatively than positively, thinking the person will use it as an excuse to be lazy and they won't be able to manage them is the classic.

Isn't that discrimination though? The manager can be variable in their response but can often come across unfeeling. I work really hard and I hope they don't think it's an excuse for me to be lazy.

I think the response you get depends on how you have brought it up, and for what purpose.

I did once. My line manager who was overloading me with case work that I kept saying I simply could not handle and was going to crumble. I told him I was suicidal over it, which I was. He shrugged and said 'Go on anti-depressants. That's what we all do'.

I lasted another 2 weeks before going on stress leave then quitting.

Looking back I am angry that i did not take it further. But it was a private law firm with no proper HR to speak of and I did not have the ability to fight the fight.

Thank you. If I knew what was going to happen ahead of the day that's not going to be as it usually it, I knew it would ease my anxiety somewhat. I told him that. I'm just anxious now of what he thinks. Damn anxiety never goes away! There's always something to mither about.

Are you seeking professional help for your anxiety OP?

Very early on in my workplace there was a ‘mental health day’ where we all sat through various lectures about protecting your mental health - great right? It ended with a colleague opening up about her struggles very bravely talking in front of everyone. Afterwards my department head said to me ‘yes she was very brave but it wouldn’t be me, she hasn’t done herself any favours’ so I knew then and there never to say anything to anyone.

It is a difficult one, lots of people have MH struggles but I find generally workplaces don’t actually care even if they put on the act that they do, it’s just box ticking.

I am a manager of 4 separate teams. I have ADHD am very open about it. I have team members with autism, bi-polar and personality disorders. I try to create a safe environment and am flexible with arrangements as long as they are getting the work done to the required standard.
ND people are often more productive, attention to detail etc so i welcome them on my teams.
My teams have the lowest occurrences of sickness in the company and constantly achieve highest ratings for employee satisfaction.

You should never share your mental or physical health issues with your employer. It will count against you and it will stop you getting promoted and it will make it easier to make you redundant. They will pretend to care and have many policies relating to “wellness” and such. Ultimately, if you start to cost them time and money - you will be managed out or put under so much stress that you resign.

No, nor would I unless it was something I had to go off with and had no other option. I certainly wouldn’t be saying I had anxiety. These people are there to run a business, they are not there to manage peoples mental health. They work within the constraints given, if someone can’t cope they can ask for adjustments and explain why the workload is not manageable, come up with solutions, a gp would be the one to speak to about illnesses, the manager is there to manage workload, resourcing etc, so for me, no id always attempt to avoid discussing mental health unless I had to go off with it.

It's such a shame isn't it?

Of course its discrimination but no one says it out loud. It's all behind closed doors.

Yes I have, as have a few of my colleagues, including my manager.

We work in mental health though, and our team is incredibly supportive and flexible. If one of us is having a bad mental health day, we all cover shifts for each other.
I think because we are so supported and understanding of working when you don’t feel good mentally, absolutely none of us take the piss and pull sickies.

I do feel incredibly lucky, I adore my job, my colleagues and my bosses.

I feel lucky and i adore my job, but we don’t take days off for mental health and expect our colleagues to work extra to cover us.

That’s a shame, because it works incredibly well for our team and none of us mind working extra to help each other out

Not a shame, ours works very well for us. Hence why I adore ir.

I have. Wouldn’t recommend doing so if it can be avoided.

Yes. I got on very well with the person I told and they were very kind and understanding - but they were like this about everything. I would only consider telling somebody about a health problem if I trusted them .

The manager concerned was a lot younger than me. I'm in my 50s, she is in her 30s. I do feel that younger people are much more accepting of mental health issues and neurodivergence. I have seen a lot of very dismissive talk from older adults about both but I feel like my children's generation (early 20s) are very understanding and don't see any stigma in either.

I have and in the end I was treated differently afterwards and ended up leaving. I’m not sure I’d be in a hurry to disclose it in the future

Yes I have - I couldn't not as I was in floods of tears. She's not known for her compassion (to put it mildly), but I have to say she was brilliant that day and was very supportive when I was off.

Yes
First 2 used it against me to bully and belittle me into a gibberish wreck. The 1st left and I moved Depts. the 2nd knew about my suicidal thoughts because of the 1st person. The 2nd kept bullying me and in the end I made a formal complaint. Which was upheld and they got a final warning. I moved Depts again.
This time only my new manager knows and when I told him he said I’m not like the other person. I will be here whenever if ever you want to talk. If work becomes stressful talk to me. I may be able to get more help for your work but I will always listen.

That was 2 years ago and when things are bad I tell him I’m struggling but I’m not as open as I was. Twice bitten, fuck a 3rd time.

Sometimws all I need to know is that he is there and that’s enough for me to continue making progress

It’s so sad to see that cultural differences in workplaces lead to many people not feeling safe to disclose mental health challenges. It all depends upon on relationships and to a large extent the skill of the manager.
I’ve disclosed to mine in the past when I’ve experienced challenges and my team have disclosed to me. And fed back about how supported they feel. But I do genuinely like and care about my team.
It’s not legal to consider a disability during a redundancy selection process or any related absence. Although I know in practice this may happen, but not where I work.
I would be upset if anyone felt they had to struggle alone because they couldn’t approach me.

Yes. I was treated with kindness and respect.They offered for me to go home or change teams for the day then and there and changes were in place the very next day. While the changes seemed worse or just as bad as the situation I was in before , and I wasn’t necessarily happy, it did give me the time and space to recover so it all ended up pretty well .

I have cPTSD and have always been open with my managers about this. I have always been told what a help it is for them to know, and they have made reasonable adjustments for me across so many areas of work. Without the support I’ve had this past year after escaping DV I would have had to leave. I am struggling hugely at the moment but my (v v senior) manager keeps reassuring me that my feelings are valid, my reactions are normal for me and that we are all human and alL go through hell at times. Hearing her tell me that it is normal to feel this way helps me to feel more normal.

in turn I manage my team very openly and encourage them to share their lives and difficulties. They have all disclosed MH issues to me, and I have responded to these by making RAs and being considerate when allocating casework etc, bearing everyone’s individual needs in mind. I truly believe this is the way to be - I will continue to treat my team the way I want to be treated.

I would never. I’d rather mask than be othered. If I was caught crying I’d say I’d had some bad news or something.