Have you ever told a manager about your mental health?

[CarrotCrusader]

I have told mine. Nothing was done about the stuff that was affecting my MH (workloads and too little staff to support). Told another big boss and asked for reassurance of what was going to happen on a certain day which was different from the norm and explained it was because I have severe anxiety. He did explain what was going to happen and I thanked him but now I'm thinking allsorts and that he's going to think I'm incapable and not resilient. It would be good to hear your experiences.

They have an Access to Work coach to work on a number of issues with, including this one. I haven't yet seen any improvement in this particular issue, but have in others. They are in many ways an excellent employee but any sort of unplanned change causes them what seems like almost physical pain. It clearly really is related to their disability and I have huge and genuine empathy. I'm not a neurodiversity expert and have put in place everything our employer offers in terms of support - as well as A2W, they also have an assigned workplace neurodiversity mentor, and have had OH support (though they're one of the ones who absolutely hate being referred to OH as I just can't convince them, no matter how hard I try, that it won't be held against them in some way. Like many autistic people, they have had very bad experiences in previous workplaces, including bullying).

I wonder how many people that experience poor mental health do so because of shit management, unrealistic and unreasonable work loads and toxic environments?

As a Manager yes, I've been approached. I've supported and assisted and ensured my employee has what they need to do their role and feel good and supported in it. I could relate, as many can.

Actually I got sent flowers as a personal gesture of thanks for my support. And no I didn't go moaning to people behind their back.

I told my manager years ago that I had depression. It was just for info for him, so he knew what was going on with me. Within weeks of me telling him that, I started being called up on my performance (at the previous year end I was rated “exceeds expectations” - 3 months later I was suddenly told I was now “below expectations”). He started HOUNDING me constantly. Micro managing me, any tiny error at all would be called out (I had literally just taken on a load of new responsibilities so was still learning because the previous person left with no handover). It was relentless and I couldn’t understand why. I got a letter inviting me to a disciplinary hearing over my performance. He kept trying to rearrange the date so the person I wanted as my rep (a former manager of mine, well thought of in the business) couldn’t be there. I ended up at my doctors for an appointment about something else and just broke down. She asked me to tell her what was going on and when I explained it all and signed me off immediately. She wrote “medical in confidence” so as not to give him any ammunition (bear in mind I’d not taken any sick leave in years before this and had been there for 10 years). When I called to tell him I’d been signed off he asked me if it was for my depression or my back. My depression had never been mentioned since the conversation all those months ago and that’s when it clicked what all of this was about - he was targeting me as he saw me as a weak link. Despite a sick note he was ringing me (and I was answering) multiple times every single day, which made my stress levels a million times worse. So I got signed off again. I had a family holiday booked a couple of weeks later, I think I was off sick for 2 weeks then went on my holiday. I fully intended to be back in work after. But when it was the day to go in I just couldn’t face him and went back to the dr and was signed off for another week. I made it clear that I was taking the holiday ad holiday as it was pre-booked and I had gone on it, even though our policies allow you you claim back the holiday if you are sick.

When I went back in the following week, finally feeling ready to face him again, he called me into an office and presented me with photos of my holiday and screenshots of my Facebook posts and told me he was launching an investigation into my conduct for taking holiday whilst sick. It became so very, very clear he just wanted me gone.

I decided to fight, i was so angry. I loved my job and the company but he ruined 10 years of goodwill. I was given a verbal warning over the holiday and the disciplinary for the performance wasn’t taken any further after the hearing. Things improved a little after that, but I was so relieved when it was announced he was being promoted as it meant he wouldn’t be my manager anymore. He was then managed out the following year as the business performance under him was absolutely shocking. 13 years later and I’m still with the company. It took a long time to build up any trust again, and I will still be wary of a new manager.

in 2019 we launched a mental health first aider program. I signed up and was trained up. I told my story and said I wanted to make sure it never happened to anyone else. We now have over 200 MHFA’s and a team of suicide first aiders. The business and its leaders are GENUINE now about supporting those with mental health conditions and it’s been fantastic to see the difference it’s made. But I would never, ever tell another manager about my depression again if I were to suffer. It turned out that mine was caused by the Mirena coil, so an easy fix in the end. But that one poor manager could have ruined my life with his attitude.

@BeeCucumber cumber · Yesterday 15:41

''You should never share your mental or physical health issues with your employer''

That's such a daft statement.

Of course some people have to disclose their heath issues.

If you have a disability for example and need reasonable adjustment such as specific adapted equipment to do your job or home working you have to make your employer aware as to why you need those adjustments...

There are also some health and safety issues to consider. I used to have a colleague with epilepsy and it was important for other team members to be aware of it and know what to do if she had a seizure.

Also making it clear to the employer that you have a long term condition or disability also means that they are aware that you have the right to make a claim for disability discrimination from the first day of employment if you end up being treated unfairly because of your disability/health condition in the workplace. A former manager of mine ended up with two claims for disability discrimination in one year because they treated staff with mental health issues poorly. Both time the organisation had to pay a financial settlement to avoid an employment tribunal, so there are definitely consequences for employers...

Loads! Absolutely loads.

I’d consider this almost a separate issue from having a mental health condition though - if you feel fine and fully yourself again in a functional workplace, then the issue was circumstantial and not something to do with your own baseline emotional stability.

Rightly or wrongly, when you say something is ‘affecting your mental health’, most of the time people will assume you have an underlying mental health condition, and are experiencing a flare-up in response to something that might not be an issue for other people.

I do think we need a separate language for this. If you say ‘I’m suffering anxiety because the boss is a bullying arsehole’ it’s just too easy for people to fixate on your anxiety and how you could be managing it better. And managing your own mental health is important, sure, but if the problem is actually a toxic workplace, then framing your issues in terms of your feelings means the organisation can let itself off the hook.

Not to mention all the confusion between ‘feeling anxious’ because your boss often shouts at you, and ‘having an anxiety disorder’ which means you experience disproportionate anxiety in situations that most people wouldn’t have a problem with. It’s the difference between feeling scared in a broken lift vs having a general phobia of lifts.

It’s more effective to go to your workplace with evidence that there is too much work for the staffing levels provided, or that the manager is contravening codes of conduct. That’s putting the ball back in their court to do something about.

Please could you tell me a little bit more about MHFA? I was reading about it on the website and it talked about them offering emotional support.

I was a bit taken aback by this. MHFA aren't trained health professionals and I don't see how is reasonable for them to take on that load. Do they receive clinical supervision? I think its appalling if they don't and unworkable in the medium to long term. What kind of support do they receive if they're is a negative outcome?

I'm just not sure a 3 day course is adequate. I've always felt it was a tick box window dressing role but I'm very happy to be educated on this point.

Disclosure, I'm an HCP

Also I'm concerned and VERY dubious about peer support in general. I've had contact with 4 in total. 3 as a service user and I professionally. ALL of them wanted to talk about themselves, heck, one even gave me a run down on her mental health medication

Sorry, me again. Is there actually an evidence base?

Hi,

we are there to signpost colleagues to the appropriate services. So we had a really intensive course to talk about various things that could be going on, enough to help us know where to point them to if that makes sense. We aren’t supposed to be there to be therapists etc, but can be a listening ear if that’s what someone wants and it isn’t something serious… but generally the expectation is to direct them to the most appropriate services. If we think they’re a danger to themselves or others then we are supposed to get immediate help of course.

We also share our stories to reduce the stigma of mental health conditions on the work place, arrange training sessions to raise awareness, get guest speakers in for panels, etc.

I hope that makes sense?

Thank you very much for coming back and telling me more.