I was go into too much detail but I haven’t spoken to seen my mother for over 3 years due to her being overbearing; not taking any responsibility and her manipulation. The relationship hasn’t been great for years previous but when I had my daughter enough was enough.
my mum (other has her own issues and childhood ACES) has never taken accountability for her actions towards me or any one for that matter. She doesn’t understand boundaries and when someone tries to put them in place she makes out they are sensitive and they’re the problem. She’s sold my belongings on me and has lied multiple times - I just don’t trust her.
anyway I made a decision to cut contact. At first I had arranged for her to go through my partner to see my daughter but she said ‘I’ll let you get on with your lives’. Fast forward 7 weeks and she turned up at my daughter’s nursery asking to see her - luckily I had already informed them of the situation. i texted her to stay away. Over the past 3 years she has been sending gifts on special ocassions which leaves me riddled with anxiety because it triggers my childhood past traumas. I have received counselling over it and admitted to the counsellor that the only time I will feel free is when she dies. She turned up at my door one time to drop a gift off and again I had to text her. I was starting to see a pattern of her trying to make contact with me so I started ignoring her. Then couple of months ago she sent me a letter apologising but it was very much about her being the victim. I have told her time and time again how she made me feel. The thought of her seeing my baby feels me with dread because her normal isn’t my normal and I know she would undermine me so I don’t want that relationship at all.
after she sent the letter I sent her a big message thanking her for the letter and saying I forgive her but I don’t want a relationship. I wanted to be respectful but to the point. For a couple of months we didn’t hear anything from her; she’d stopped contacting my partner and everything was great.
i am now pregnant again and it was coming up to my daughters birthday and I feel the anxiety coming back again. Lo and behold - big parcel of gifts and a letter saying it’s not about me it’s about her and my daughter building a relationship. I texted her again but my message wasn’t as respectful and I feel I’m on the verge of losing it with her. She shares pictures of my daughter on her social media - I don’t know her friends and to be honest I’m not 100% they’re all safe people - I asked her to stop. She ignored me and put a big post up naming my daughter (full name) with a picture. I’m on the edge and I don’t know what to do.
Ive tried contacting social media to get posts removed but they’re saying it doesn’t apply to their standards or something.
just to add my mother has poor mental health and goes through phrases of being on ‘downers’ where she’ll eat eat eat and smoke weed. I’ve had to deal with this from a young age. I was emotionally, verbally and physically (threatened) abused. I was exposed to adult subjects and content from a you g age and I am trying to protect myself and my family.