in your opinion/if you have it or have family members, friends, colleagues or a partner/ex-partner with it, does BPD deserve the negative representation it often gets as a condition, in the popular media and also in real life ?

[Nonoanddefintelyno]

I read somewhere that bpd can be compared to having full thickness, raw burns all over ones body as a representation of how it feels for people with BPD to try and get through a day where the otherwise smallest social interaction, look or body language change, can cause genuine alarm, fear of abandonment or provoke intense anger in someone with the condition. I imagine it must be really shitty to deal with as the sufferer and i generally feel like virtually everyone with BPD has developed the condition because they have been exposed to or have had to experience a higher number of traumatic life events compared to the general population. Ive often heard BPD be described as the form of PTSD that never actually got diagnosed so it just turned into BPD because it wasnt recognized that it started as PTSD initially

It is sensible to advise avoiding intimate relationships with anyone who has a cluster B personality disorder. If that upsets people with personality disorders, that is not my problem. People have to protect themselves. “But I have BPD and I’m a saint.” Well that’s lovely, but it still doesn’t change my advice to anyone

. Absolutely and people who share their experiences like this getting told they need to show 'unconditional love' in return or are disgusting/bigoted for not wanting to go through a relationship like that again.

Edited as didn't attach quote.

“My disordered personality requires that you give me unconditional love while I put you through the wringer otherwise I’ll never ‘get better’.”

Yeah, no thanks.

Is the ‘unconditional love’ requirement consistently reciprocated, balanced and equal?

What’s your point?

Plus the bouts of baseless paranoia fuelled accusations which absolutely cannot be negated or satisfied because they have no basis in reality.

Followed by disgraceful invasions of privacy to prove their accusations. Then the threats of suicide when you’ve had enough. It’s a twisted game of pushing you away and then sobbing like a toddler when you finally can’t take anymore. Love bombing followed by abuse followed by crocodile tears.

Am assuming they mean it can't be person with BPD can say 'you must love me no matter what I do or say, but don't expect the same back from me..'

I know three people with a BPD diagnosis. Two of those are severely unwell (or massively unhinged, whichever way you choose to look at it). As an example, my childhood best friend - she forced her DH to give up work because she couldn’t bear to be separated from him. They were drowning in debt so eventually he had to get a job as part of which he was given a work’s van. On his second day in the new job she freaked out because she wanted him to stay at home, and she smashed the van to pieces with a lump hammer.

The third person is my DB, but I think that his diagnosis is bollocks. He also has quite severe ADHD which was diagnosed 40 years ago. He doesn’t show any signs of over-the-top unstable behaviour like my two friends. His diagnosis seems to be based on ‘rejection sensitivity’ which I think is something that’s a normal human emotion that’s been pathologised. Surely nobody likes being rejected?

Preceded by your behaviour, interactions, tone, gestures, entire existence being secretly graded against an ever shifting set of criteria.

The results of which will be produced and weaponised in a manner which suggests they are the equivalent of a Supreme Court judgement,

It's none of those things, or at least not from me. Abuse is abuse, choices are choices and no one can expect an abuse victim to show their abuser sympathy or unconditional love. But I don't think I agree that everyone with BPD must be abusive in their relationships with others because that has not been my experience of my relationships with people who have that diagnosis. I think the diagnostic criterion is dysfunctional relating to others, and whilst that can obviously include abuse I don't think it is always the same thing as abuse 🤷. I am not in any way suggesting that you and others on this board were not abused, or that your abuser's diagnosis was not part of the cause of their behaviour, or that they shouldn't be held responsible for what they did, or that it was your job to avoid abuse by appeasing them.

“and whilst that can obviously include abuse I don't think it is always the same thing as abuse.”

Would you mind expanding on that a bit more please?

I think you can have dysfunctional relationships that are difficult and stressful without involving emotional or physical abuse.

I don't disagree that some people with BPD are being treated and managing it well and aren't necessarily at risk of being abusive to others.

If it's untreated, then I think abuse is always part of the pattern. Emotional instability in itself is toxic. Intense fear of abandonment and the push/pull cycle, even if it doesn't include the fierce rages and extreme abuse that often come with it, is traumatic to cope with by itself.

I think we all know that untreated NPD and ASPD is dangerous to other people, even if we know the person with the disorder is suffering too. BPD is the same in my experience.

I’ll stick with my non-BPD, functioning and unstressful relationship, and continue to shout from the rooftops to everyone who needs to hear it to run like hell from people with BPD. Your life is too short.

I'm not saying that you or people generally should go out of their way to have dysfunctional and stressful relationships.

I can't think of any examples of dysfunctional behaviour which is difficult to deal with and causes the other person stress which wouldn't meet the criteria for emotional abuse.

I have a BPD diagnosis. It was on my record for years before I was even told about it myself.
I have done DBT a few times now. Some of it is helpful but not all of it.

I have been treated awfully by the NHS due to the label on my notes. It is there as a "patient alert" like an allergy. Just PD and not what PD it actually is.

I am now diagnosed with ASD which is what a lot of BPD cases in women ends up being. I still have that BPD label on my notes though.

Are they the only 2 words in your vocabulary as you've said it twice now to my posts or do you think conditions like diabetes, asthma, copd, hypothyroidism, hyperthyroidism, heart failure, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc can be cured. Do you believe in chinese medicine or something or are you purposely trying to be difficult 🤔

This is the worst bit iv been treat and still continue to be treat awful by nhs staff.

Yeah there is a stigma around it for sure.