Neurodivergent?

[MumOf4totstoteens]

I’ve suspected for a while now I have some kind of neurodivergence. I’m diagnosed with dyslexia so I know that goes hand in hand with some other conditions. I am also diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Every month or so, I have these episodes that lasts days-weeks where I just completely shut down. I don’t get out of bed, or if I do it’s only to see to my children’s basic needs when no one else is there. It’s so frustrating and I feel like such a failure. Then all of a sudden I’ll be ok again. During these periods I feel suicidal and have to continually tell myself it will be ok and this will pass. I’m usually a high functioning person. This time it’s been triggered by going on holiday. I only went for 3 nights and it went well but it’s like it drained the life from me! I came back 6 days ago and am only just starting to feel half normal but now the guilt/ regret/ shame kicks in.

does anyone else have these episodes? If so are you diagnosed with autism/ adhd? Is there anything I can do to prevent them?

Yeah i assumed it was depression

Maybe. It’s just strange how it comes and goes. Maybe manic depressive episodes? I don’t know, but it’s awful!

If you are dyslexic then you are neurodivergent. Do you mean you think you may also be autistic? Do you think it's autistic overwhelm?

Yes sorry, should have been clearer, I think I have another condition ie autism// adhd and that these episodes are burn out/ shut down

Is there any link between these depressive incidents and your menstrual cycle? Could it be PMDD?

I did suspect that too yes. Doctor said my symptoms could all point to PMDD or fibromyalgia too. God knows! I honestly believe that my physical symptoms are psychological, but I just don’t know what or how to help myself.

I would ask for hormone tests to see whether something like PMDD is involved. Once that’s either ruled in or out, then ask to be referred for psychological support.

Take things one step at a time.

Id go get some blood tests done. If all okay, i would say a lot of that is your depression.

I’ve had hormone tests because I thought maybe peri menopause but nothing came up.

Thanks. I have blood tests a lot. Nothing ever comes up. I had slightly low vitamin D in September and have been on tablets since

@MumOf4totstoteens have you considered bipolar disorder?

I’ve thought about it yes. I wouldn’t say I had the highs though but I’m not sure.

I was also going to suggest pmdd but that's also commonly linked to being ND apparently. I've had pmdd and I'm autistic. I've had episodes like this in the past but not now I'm diagnosed as I'm able to recognise when I'm getting stressed and act accordingly to stop things escalating

I don't think it is helpful to class dyslexia as neurodivergent. It isn't what people think of when they say neurodivergent, and it isn't what the OP is asking. The trouble is the word "neurodivergent" has no medical or scientific definition, and people use it to mean anything they want it to mean, so yes, you can use it to mean dyslexic, alzheimers, arthritis, anything you want, as it has no specific meaning. In context here though, the OP is clearly asking if anyone thinks this could be symptoms of autism, and this is the context it is usually used in. Using it to mean dyslexic is very confusing. As a dyslexic, I do NOT consider myself "neurodivergent", but some others do, and class me as such, for example in HR documents, then others read it and assume I'm autisitc, as that is how they use the word, which I am very definitly not.

OP, I am trained to look after autistic children, and nothing in your post indicates autism to me, if that is what you are asking

Depression does come and go i will have periods of depression for weeks/months at a time then be ok for a few months then it happens again. Unless im also misdiagnosed and its more then depression who knows I try and focus on treatment of symptoms over diagnosises.

Are you really ND trained, because I also work with ND adults and I'd say OPs description sounds exactly like autistic/adhd burnout.

And dyslexia is neurodivergence, officially. I can hear that neurodivergence has a very specific meaning to you which you dont like being applied to you.

This is what I’ve been focusing on too. I think to myself does it matter if I don’t have a diagnosis. I’m 38yrs old and I just can’t cope with these depressive burnout episodes any longer they are ruining my life! I try to stay positive thinking my children are happy and healthy, I’m managing to hold a job down etc but just feels like I should be achieving much more.

Thanks. I suppose an autistic adult woman is totally different to an autistic male child for example. As we are aware there’s a spectrum and I’ve mot gone into detail with all my symptoms/ difficulties but good to know you don’t think this sounds like autistic burnout

You honestly sound just like me where the same age and my energy levels are so different to everyone around me. I have accepted im different to other people so my goals are different so how somebody's goal might be get a promotion at work. Mine is i got out of bed and got dressed or I left the house. That is my achievement.

It’s awful! I do everything I can too. Cut out alcohol. Try and eat good food. Take vitamins. Only thing I don’t do is much exercise but honestly if I did, I wouldn’t be able to function the next day. I’m off work at least 2 days a month. It’s ruining my reputation at work. I’m just at my whits end tbh.

Sounds like ND burn out.

have you heard of spoon theory? Look it up and start conserving your battery a little. Counter time with others with time replenishing your battery. Etc.

take care.

I’ve heard of this before. I think the next step is to plan how many spoons I have / need to use. I know for definite holidays wipe me out. The travelling, the socialising, the change of routine. It’s just too much.

If you get diagnosed with autism or something let me know as we seem to be living the exact same life. Iv gone down to part time and I still never manage more then a few weeks without needing sick days.

Doubt I will tbh it’s like a 4yr wait list where I live. Seems like there’s no hope!

Same this is why I never bothered and if your anything like me you will be slapped with an eupd diagnosis (wrongly) and then nobody will take you seriously ever again