When does therapy kick in?

[WorrasTheEmu]

Had 2 sessions so far. I've appreciated the opportunity to be really open and tell my life story 😬
it's been mostly me talking and therapist listening, and interjecting with questions, which I know needs to happen to build a picture.
If you've had therapy, when did things pick up and you felt like you were getting what you needed out of it?
Thanks, in advance

What type of therapy is it?

Edit - Oops, can’t believe I quoted the OP. Soz

It's CFT therapy

Hi, with CFT id expect it to be a good few sessions before you notice anything changing. There's quite a bit of understanding the model (tricky brain and soothing systems) along with building a picture of how your problems developed and what keeps them going. Have you been given any bits to read or any breathing exercises to do?

Well, to be an absolute cynic, I believe there is no robust evidence that it makes any difference at all (I think there is some evidence for CBT but not for therapy in general). People will post here and say "For me it was six months" or whatever, but these are anecdotes, not rules.

Keep in mind that:

• Things do often get better naturally. (True also of the common cold - but people will still often attribute their recovery to whatever home remedy they've been using)
• There's a placebo effect in doing anything, if you believe in it.
• There's also a positive effect of having another person's focused attention on you, be they a qualified therapist in a therapy session, or not.

That is obviously not to say that therapy doesn't help anyone, but it doesn't help everyone with everything. Personally, I tried it, I found it useless, and after a few weeks I decided to stop throwing good money after bad. And in time, doing things my own way, I felt better anyway. I don't believe that, had I continued for the magic number of sessions, that it would have "kicked in" and sorted me out.

I know people who have seen a therapist weekly for years, without any discernable difference (as far as I can make out), but clearly they feel they get something from it and are happy to pay for it, so good for them (and good for their therapists!).

I’d say how long is a piece of string?
depends on the person , the therapist , the type of therapy.
I’ve had three lots , never helped.
Then I read on here people have gone for years, I don’t get this.

As someone who was a huge user of different therapies during the 80's and 90's ( both NHS and private ) the only therapy that worked for me was group therapy

No where to hide with that one

I never got on with 1to 1 therapy of any school because I could call the tunes

However, saying that, all these years on I am more aware of me as a person, what floats my boat , my triggers, etc which I think I might still be oblivious to without the past therapy

I look back now at therapy as like learning to drive. Remember that " blind spot" the instructor goes on about? I never knew what he was going on about, because as a new driver, I spent as much time looking at the rear view as I did ahead, so not a single car was missed. Then I learned to drive ( after the test ) and about 3 months later - I found out what a blind spot is (oops ) So therapy I obviously took loads in, but until I started to live my life without a hand hold, I didn't realise I had the skills to do so

It can depend on what you are trying to achieve. I had exposure therapy for PTSD and I definitely got worse before I got better. It wasn’t a linear trajectory.

I think the cynical poster makes some good points though, although to maybe frame it somewhat more positively, I’d reframe some of those points to:

• it’s the relationship that has generally been found to make the most difference in outcomes, so if you don’t feel that ‘fit’ is right, don’t be afraid to try someone else. The person I saw wasn’t a trauma specialist and wasn’t actually someone I would choose as a friend outside the space. There was something about their bluntness and firmness that made me feel safe enough to actually engage in exposure.
• if you look into the research, most effective therapies are only improving outcomes for about 30% of people, so don’t hesitate to try a different type of therapy.

Hope it helps, OP!

I’ve been in therapy for about 6 months. I don’t go every week because of cost, I usually go twice a month. It’s been hugely beneficial for me. I’m planning to keep going for perhaps another 6 months as can see progress and want to keep at it. I’m more than happy to invest in therapy as to me it’s worth it to be able to enjoy life.

The poster suggesting therapy has little evidence is being disingenuous.

A LOT of therapy evidence is bad research, but the good research all points to the fact that matching a type of therapy to your needs is going to be best.

CBT and CBT-type therapies (including CFT) tendto have manuals stipulating 10-12 sessions, but evidence is they don't create lasting change for at least 25 sessions.

Psychoanalytic therapy takes at least a year to even start working.

If it fits your personality and you can work with it, stick it out and it will work.

Also,
it’s the relationship that has generally been found to make the most difference in outcomes, so if you don’t feel that ‘fit’ is right, don’t be afraid to try someone else.

This is also not true, although some research does show this... the reason research shows this is something called 'transference' and who your therapist reminds you of that you might have known in the past. If your therapist reminds you of your mother, maybe it's not going to work. If your therapist is a cheerleader for you, you might feel better when they measure progress for the research, but cheerleaders aren't good therapists and improvement never lasts.

If you don't feel a fit, ask the therapist about it. Explore why. Some therapists are just awful, but others might be provocative in your mind, but not real life, and that's probably where the therapy work will be.

Never, over the years I have spent quite a lot of money talking about myself and very, very occasionally getting a new insight from the counsellor, but nothing that made a significant difference. The worst was hypnotherapy, so bad it was laughable.

Sorry, how dare you call me disingenuous? Why not just say I'm wrong? I don't claim to be an expert, why suggest I am dishonest?

Its not something that 'kicks in.' It's not a treatment that is done to you, it's something YOU do. You see results when you do the work.

This 100 per cent.

@WorrasTheEmu What are you hoping to achieve with the therapy?

Ok, a mixed bag of responses!

I've just experienced the end of a relationship. It has broken me. Breakdown was partly due to my insecurities and also my grief following the death of one of my parents. My ex partner told me I needed therapy so I started in the hope it would helps me and salvage the relationship. Only got one session in before it ended.

I need to work on my self worth (particularly when it comes to sex and feeling rejected because he told me sex wasn't important to him in a relationship, but regularly indulged in porn)
And obviously come to terms with the death of my parent.

I just want to like myself again really

I just want to like myself again really

That's a very good goal. Why don't you like yourself now?

I think I'm what's called "a bit much"
I feel things too intensely.
For starters 😬

About a third of people improve, another third stay the same and the remaining third actually get worse.

Who’s to say that the third who improve wouldnt ace improved anyway?

Not great stats really.

So what's wrong with that?

That's you

Might not be the same as your best friend, but what makes how they feel things right and yours wrong?

There are no right or wrongs on feelings, they are your feelings and they are valid

Who told you you were a "bit much"? This isn't (generally) something you decide about yourself organically.

Past partners I suppose, or more that that's the way they made me feel I am.

I like to talk things through and get to the bottom of things. But this is often interpreted as being too intense.

Are you ND? I find this can be a trait with ADHD or autism. I have my best conversations with other ND people!

Not that I'm aware of, although I suppose I could be.
I've been I some not very nice relationships in the past, which have left me with some deep insecurities.
But because of those experiences, I think I'm more prone now to not letting things go if they're bothering me, as I won't be treated badly again. So I'll raise them to talk it out.
My most recent ex partner couldn't deal with this and he was the one that suggested therapy.

Absolutely nothing wrong with deep conversations, it's just that (some) people don't have the capacity to engage in them and therefore blame the other person for their own intellectual shortcomings.

No one knows you like you do - not your parents, siblings, friends or partners - so never allow other people to tell you who you are or what to think. And please don't listen to random people on threads trying to diagnose you!!