When does therapy kick in?

[WorrasTheEmu]

Had 2 sessions so far. I've appreciated the opportunity to be really open and tell my life story 😬
it's been mostly me talking and therapist listening, and interjecting with questions, which I know needs to happen to build a picture.
If you've had therapy, when did things pick up and you felt like you were getting what you needed out of it?
Thanks, in advance

I'll be having my 3rd session tomorrow.

Hoping to start being given some tools to deal with these feelings because I'm just feeling any better nearly 5 weeks after this break up. Horrendous.

It certainly saved my son's life. He took it very seriously and it's absolutely transformed his life in pretty meaningful ways.

I wish I had taken to it as effectively at age 20 - I was over 40 before I was as adept.

Hi OP

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. For what it’s worth, your ex sounds like a bit of a dick and he is telling you you need therapy rather than taking any accountability for his own actions.

I think I’ll look more into CBT myself.

I read a really good book called the Happiness Trap by Russ Harris which I can recommend.

Psychodynamic / somatic therapy changed my life. I, too, thought I was too much but now I’m like hell, yeah I’m too much! As others have said it’s the relationship between you and your therapist that works more than the type of therapy- you need to feel safe and comfortable with your therapist which comes with time. CBT is known for being a more short term therapy (which is why the NHS likes it because it’s cheaper) where you are taught to notice and question your automatic thoughts. Other types of therapy like psychodynamic are long term and is more about how you are in relationship with your therapist and with yourself. Unfortunately it’s difficult to put a timeline on it as insights happen a bit randomly. For me, I can only say I was sceptical but I made a decision to engage and put into action, at least once, everything my therapist suggested. It changed my life and made me more self aware, self compassionate and flexible.

The point isn’t to deal with them. Therapist don’t do that for you or give you tools apart from behavioural therapies like CBT.

the point is to feel them in the presence of a safe other and process them - that’s what gives you freedom.

people who have been to therapy and think it’s a chat and haven’t gotten anything from it are often not being supported into the process or have resisted the process or have an ineffective therapist who didn’t bring them into it

if you want tools I’d search out CBT or similar - plenty of tools!

You are unlikely to get tools OP, but please take everything you are saying here to your therapist. Also I would be interested to hear how you are expecting therapy to take away the difficult feelings around your break up, what are your expectations of what is going to happen? Please take all this along. Good luck!

Thank you. I've been very open.

Honestly, I just want to not feel this horrendous and I needed a timeline. I know that's irrational and not possible to predict, but that's where my brains at right now.

I think CFT and CBT are similar?

I don't know. 3rd session last night was good to talk, was given some breathing exercises to do which will apparently be used in other parts of the therapy going forward.

I suppose I feel better just getting everything out. But I don't feel on the road to feeling even a little bit better.

Yeh, I totally hear you, it is hideous, but try and stay with it and take all of this to therapy with you. This is the work, you are doing it right now. Just keep going!

Thank you. That means a lot.
I'm in panic mode at the moment so it's good to hear that someone thinks I'm doing something right!!

You are. Breathe. Just keep going.