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Original poster

To think it’s best to end it all

38 replies

Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 13:08

I am 23 yo have an 8 Mo single - dad is no where to be found and doesn’t even know what she looks like but I won’t get into that, live at home cannot get work even though I really want to due to childcare issues mum is downsizing in a matter of days & cannot bring me with her I honestly and contemplating leaving baby at home and just disappearing it will be doing everyone and including her a favour where can I even begin to make life better it is completely impossible with NO help the only help my mum could / does offer is housing but now that’s not possible either she is not able to help out so I can work. On top of that I don’t drive either so I have absolutely fucking nothing useful to my name. I just honestly am embarrassed useless and think everyone would be better off without me including my kid. I’ve even considered giving her up for her sake because I know she would be better provided for

OP posts:
Original poster
Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 14:54

Did you eventually get housed ? glad to hear things seem better for you now

OP posts:
Original poster
Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 14:55

Bitolderandwiser · 29/10/2024 14:25

Please, don't do anything in a hurry, you may be able to get accommodation.
I was in your situation a long time ago, a ''friend'' suggested adoption but I swiftly dismissed that idea. Now, the ''baby'' is a father himself of my lovely grandchildren. There is always a way, you won;t always feel this way, but you do need help. As others have said, try to get a GP appointment before you make this huge step of adoption.

Thank you 🙏

OP posts:
sofialiliy11 · 29/10/2024 14:59

Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 14:54

Did you eventually get housed ? glad to hear things seem better for you now

Yes believe me I've been rock bottom too so I can understand. It can get better!

the housing organisations all really helped me at the time. There are a lot of people to help you.

I was out of work at the time. They ended up helping me to get a small flat. And they helped me with the rent.

Then I managed to find a job , and I got back on my feet.

I moved out of that flat into a different flat the next year. I was fine after that

Original poster
Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 15:00

Thank you for sharing your story this has made me feel a lot better, all I want is to turn my life around but right now it feels so impossible hearing this makes me realise it can happen

OP posts:
CookieMonster28 · 29/10/2024 15:14

Everything will be okay in the end.
If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

You have a lot going on right now, it's ok to reach out and get support. You've done the hardest part by acknowledging and recognising that things aren't ok. I'm sure you're a great mum so try not to let yourself think otherwise.

Sending a hug. It'll all work out in the end, even if it doesn't seem like it right now x

Original poster
Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 15:34

Does anyone have any information about private renting ? Am I being unrealistic to think that I’ll somehow be able to find a landlord who is understanding of my current circumstances or is it better to go down the council route,? I just can’t see myself being able to get housing with my situation

OP posts:
cheezncrackers · 29/10/2024 15:40

If you're not working OP are you in receipt of all the benefits you are entitled to? If you're not sure, you can check on this website: https://www.entitledto.co.uk/

You can speak to your local council and/or local Citizens Advice Bureau if you need help finding a LL who will accept housing benefit.

Benefits Calculator - entitledto - independent | accurate | reliable | www.entitledto.co.uk

Check what benefit entitlement you are entitled to. The entitledto benefits calculator will check which means-tested benefits you may be entitled to e.g. tax credits, universal credit, housing benefit …

https://www.entitledto.co.uk

user8634216758 · 29/10/2024 15:50

I’ve no experience of your housing situation, but i do remember what having an 8mth old was like and it was 20 years ago! Small children are hard work, with added sleep deprivation, it’s no wonder you feel overwhelmed. It nearly broke me and I was late 20’s with a helpful DH.
Things can and will get better.

Mrsttcno1 · 29/10/2024 16:03

Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 15:34

Does anyone have any information about private renting ? Am I being unrealistic to think that I’ll somehow be able to find a landlord who is understanding of my current circumstances or is it better to go down the council route,? I just can’t see myself being able to get housing with my situation

Private renting with no income, guarantor, references, and no chunk of money for first/last & deposit is going to be impossible.

Council is your only bet for right now really. Once you have an income though you’d be able to look at private renting x

Original poster
Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 16:06

I’d probably be able to get guarantor and get deposit and rent upfront however I agree it’s most definitely unlikely so I think I’ll go down the council route unfortunately

OP posts:
Dolly567 · 29/10/2024 16:07

You're only 23! The world is at your feet Biscuit. Things can get better for you, the fact that you're worrying so much about being a good mum and care so much for your daughter shows you are.
I know it doesn't seem like it now but there will be a solution to all your problems.
The only problems that cannot be solved are health issues.

It may be hard but you can do this and make your girl proud.

Reach out for help, there is a lot of help out there :) Xx

BadPeopleFan · 29/10/2024 17:02

Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 15:34

Does anyone have any information about private renting ? Am I being unrealistic to think that I’ll somehow be able to find a landlord who is understanding of my current circumstances or is it better to go down the council route,? I just can’t see myself being able to get housing with my situation

Honestly you will be much better going to the council. Once you are housed, even temporarily you will be in the system which will make it much easier to access help.
Things will get easier once you start getting some support.

Mrsttcno1 · 29/10/2024 17:33

Beepop22 · 29/10/2024 16:06

I’d probably be able to get guarantor and get deposit and rent upfront however I agree it’s most definitely unlikely so I think I’ll go down the council route unfortunately

Without an income private rent isn’t possible as they don’t know you’ll be able to pay your rent. Renting is based on your salary so you have to earn a certain amount of the rent to be able to pass the affordability checks x

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