Absolute joke - trigger warning

[hlc123]

Went to the Dr's at 9.20 this morning to ask for some anti-anxiety medication as I am experiencing really bad intrusive thoughts/ suicidal ideation.
The Dr asked some questions so told him what is going on in my head.
He mentioned the crisis team. I said I don't want to involve the crisis team, i will be passed from service to service and end up feeling worse.
He said he had a duty as a GP to contact the crisis team so I said ok then.
He called them and said 'This patient is in crisis,' and told me to go home and the crisis team would contact me. He also refused to give me any anti anxiety medication.
That was 9.5 hours ago and i have heard nothing after waiting and feeling even more anxious and on edge. I ended up calling the drs just before they closed to say I want to go to put my pyjamas on and get into bed without worrying about the crisis team contacting me, so the receptionist said they will notify the crisis team.
It's NOT ok to not be ok because there isn't any support and this is why I keep seeing posts about suicides being at all time high

Thank you @YellowTambourine and @Baguettesandcheeseforever for your understanding, I am sorry that you have had bad experiences. I can't sleep at the mo and even when I have been sleeping I've had bad dreams and woke up not feeling rested. Last night I had a dream I set fire to my bed whilst I was in it.

I really hope you manage to get some restful sleep. If you’re not sleeping your mental health is going to decline even more quickly. I hope you find a professional who understands this and will help.

I've seen how they treat people in hospitals who have attempted suicide. There's just no resource there. I've seen so called professionals when an in patient half dead with sepsis. My MH tanked. The people sent to see me had one brain cell between them. It's a horrible place to see institutions for what they are. I understood your reluctance ref the crisis team.
I second asking for promethazine. A friend took it and said it really helped. I understand that's a type of strong, old school antihistamine. As long as your blood pressure isn't already low, you should be able to get proponalol from GP. That's for physical symptoms of anxiety.

I don't think promethazine will be in the same category as diazepam so that's worth asking.

He's refusing the meds because he's worried you're going to use them overdose! Standard procedure to refuse meds in this situation; In fact he'd be negligent if he had given you them

That maybe the case but he just passed the buck to the crisis team, probably knowing full well that they are so under resourced that they wouldn’t get back to the OP today.
So the result is that the OP has reached out for support but has been left feeling even worse and without anything to help her sleep.
I understand that the GP is probably so over worked that he didn’t have the time to do much else but that doesn’t help the OP.
There are other meds that can be given which don’t have overdose risk.

It's awful this situation. You're desperate so want respite. The GP is scared you'll overdose and they'll be accountable. So what happens; you're left with nothing.

I feel absolute and utter despair with significant health challenges. If a doctor asked me if I was suicidal, I'd say no but I don't know how much I could carry on with this. And then they'd remove the medicine I take and you're a bit screwed.

It's not the GPs fault but this is arse covering and you suffer.

I got referred to adult mental health services because I'd been having suicidal thoughts last November, I'm still waiting & have been told it will be at least a 2 year wait. I'm on the highest dose of my antidepressants that can be prescribed. Mental health services are a joke, often the only way to get anything done is to go to A & E, that's partly why it gets so clogged up.

Have you tried melatonin? You can order it online from Piping Rocks, it's about £25 a bottle.

@Nat6999 A and E is an horrific place to be right now. There's so little compassion for people struggling with MH here. On a ward you may get a caring HCA or nurse. I've seen how vulnerabie people are treated, it's horrible. It's all an exercise in arse covering these days. I understand that many health professional are up against it and are so disillusioned by lack of resource that they're liable to losing what compassion they might have had.

We're lucky we aren't third world level, I do appreciate that. But for a first world country, it's a mess.

Melatonin online sounds a good idea.

Thank you for the replies. I am so sorry so many other people are struggling, have been let down and have had bad experiences.

Ironically, an overdose is the one method of suicide I'd never do. I have emetophobia and would be scared of being sick or needing my stomach pumped and ending up even more traumatised!

I've tried melatonin and it didn't help and I have tried zopiclone which made me feel awful but diazepam works for me. I was prescribed 14 tablets last year to take as and when I need that have lasted me until recently.

As a previous poster said, they should really understand that a suicidal person lacking sleep is only going to get worse. They shouldn't withhold medicine. She could use any method of suicide! I'm sick of this "suicide prevention" obsession when it should be "pain reduction" instead. Preventing suicide really doesn't help the person suffering.

How are you feeling today @hlc123 ?

OP I hope things are feeling more manageable today?

Speaking as someone with a 20yr hx of severe mental illness I sympathise.

Speaking as someone with a 20yr hx of working in psychiatry / urgent care MH services, I gently ask that some posters on the thread remember that services are staffed overwhelmingly by caring, compassionate, kind people who are certainly not in the profession for the wage or perks, but whom are facing a daily battle with under-funding, bed closures, unprecedented service demand, and strict prescribing / referral pathways.

Please recognise the good work we’re trying to do, when describing mental health teams as “despicable” “a joke” “shocking” “only one brain cell” “cavalier” etc… As a MH user and a tireless, dedicated and worn-out MH worker some of the comments on here make me feel so dreadful.

@SomeFinElse thanks for your post. I apologise wholeheartedly to you. Your post says to me you aren't one of those. It's so terrifying to encounter some very scary people in the profession ( nursing, MH) when you're so desperate and afraid. You definitely are not all like it.

People are so up against it now I see that even the good people will be pushed to breaking point and compassion will be tested in these jobs

Diazepam is now a controlled drug, after being given out like blue sweeties in the past.
People got seriously addicted, but as a short term drug they could help some people.

They have a black market value as well.

14 (assuming 10 mgs) Diazepam in a year is hardly excessive.
It’s because benzodiazepines have been so over prescribed in the past that GP’s are wary of prescribing them now.

However, a family member had some prescribed and just knowing they were there made him feel better.
But that was before they got so strict around benzos.

Just thought I'd let you know that I went to A&E a few years ago with bad anxiety/possibly the onset of a depression/anxiety/breakdown episode. I was actually have breathing issues and very worried about my health, hypochondriac levels... I spoke to a very understanding doctor who explained that I was hyperventilating, and we discussed the stress I'd been under recently. If I remember correctly I was injected (probably diazepam?) and given a couple of diazepam tablets to tide me over until I went to the GP.

They've given me low doses of diazepam in hospitals when I've been very anxious.
I don't know why they won't just give OP a very small amount to tide over whilst you wait for someone to contact. It's incredibly cruel.

I don't believe a strip of say 10 is going to kill anyone. If someone is that intent they'll find a way.

I hope we don't end up like Americans where they withdraw everything and you're screwed.

It infuriates me how the guidelines for Diazepam have become so ridiculously strict in recent years. I am lucky and am not allowed them on repeat but can request them whenever o need to and they are usually prescribed I get how they can be hopelessly addictive for stress, in the hands of the wrong type of person, however I'm not one of them. I have taken them for over 20 years as-hoc (on a bad day, maybe 10mg), once or twice a week. Then I can go for months without. My medical history shows no signs of addiction. It's the same with Zopiclone. I'm careful, as in very careful. Taken for 20 years; no dependence or addictive issues whatsoever. I have 14 per month on repeat. Rarely even when half of that amount.
Has I not been allowed these meds, I don't think I would be alive today. My insomnia drove me to fantasising about death on a daily basis and I was in a mess.
These two meds saved my life.

How are you feeling today @hlc123 ? Have you managed to get some sleep?

@EnoughNowIThinkSo I am the same, trying to hang in there but it's really hard and I am so, so tired. Thank you so much for asking. Hope you are doing ok.

You are doing so well @hlc123 so be kind to yourself and try to rest when you can.
Are you planning to go back to the GP to ask for something to help you sleep as the crisis team haven’t engaged with you?

@EnoughNowIThinkSo No I don't think so, going to the GP made me feel even worse. I appreciate where @SomeFinElse is coming from, I know there are some amazing, dedicated staff working for mental health services/ the NHS but I still think Mental Health services are a joke.
I read 2 really sad articles yesterday about 2 ladies who were let down by such services, one died by suicide whilst an in-patient as staff watched on cctv and one was granted release from an in-patient facility and went home and died by suicide.