Absolute joke - trigger warning

[hlc123]

Went to the Dr's at 9.20 this morning to ask for some anti-anxiety medication as I am experiencing really bad intrusive thoughts/ suicidal ideation.
The Dr asked some questions so told him what is going on in my head.
He mentioned the crisis team. I said I don't want to involve the crisis team, i will be passed from service to service and end up feeling worse.
He said he had a duty as a GP to contact the crisis team so I said ok then.
He called them and said 'This patient is in crisis,' and told me to go home and the crisis team would contact me. He also refused to give me any anti anxiety medication.
That was 9.5 hours ago and i have heard nothing after waiting and feeling even more anxious and on edge. I ended up calling the drs just before they closed to say I want to go to put my pyjamas on and get into bed without worrying about the crisis team contacting me, so the receptionist said they will notify the crisis team.
It's NOT ok to not be ok because there isn't any support and this is why I keep seeing posts about suicides being at all time high

@BallerinaFall If you don't mind me asking, how long ago was that? Have you been offered any support since then?

I’m still alive but that is thanks to a lot of support from my psychiatrist and therapist.

I think I did need to be sectioned for my own safety at the point I was referred for the assessment but I survived so maybe not.

What realistically can the crisis team do to help OP? It's really scary how little help is actually given.

I get diazepam and a half tablet now and again really can help. A referral to Crisis Team and a short term script would have been helpful.

I have taken Ashwaganda a few times. I'm sure it helps. It may interact with your meds so check. A strong antihistamine might help you through the evening.

I'd just hear what the crisis team has to say tbh. You need a bit more help than the meds you're on.

Propranolol can help with physical effects of anxiety.

And I did accept the help and have been waiting for contact from the crisis team which has made my anxiety and intrusive thoughts even worse and no contact has happened! Hence my post!!!

Diazzepam is not suitable for people who are actively thinking of harming themselves.

This was August of last year.

After the GP obviously called them and they rang back saying there was not much they could do, the nurse went sideways and put me through a 5 week home first treatment in which I saw a psychiatrist 4 days later and had a full health check and then was signposted on to other services who I'm still under. They've been pretty poor with coping stuff but I have had 4 psychiatrist appointments in a year so it's helped by pass anything else.

They don't have an endless supply of people. They will contact you. Do you have anyone who you can talk to right now? Friend or family members who can be with you?

but this is what everyone is telling you... RING CRISIS TEAM! you don't need to wait, you can pick up the phone and ring. but you are shooting everyone down saying you don't want to deal with crisis team, yet are getting upset that they have not rung you?

if you do not want to deal with crisis team and are having intrusive thoughts, then get yourself to a&e. they are a designated place of safety and you will be able to speak to the MH team there!

I am getting upset because I was clear in that I didn't want a referral and was told I had no choice but for the GP to refer me, he said someone would contact me TODAY which has made me feel worse and they haven't - which is an absolute joke which is why I posted. Trying to seek help makes things worse which is why people end up dying by suicide because the help is not there despite all the its ok not to be ok crap.

I understand what you are saying OP. It really isn’t acceptable to treat people who are suffering already in such a cavalier manner.

@EnoughNowIThinkSo Thank you. I told the GP I have been here before and the referrals end up making me feel worse and that is already happening. If I had been prescribed some anti-anxiety medication I would more than likely be asleep now not trying to fight the urges to hurt myself which are always worse at night.

I get that the GP felt he had a duty to refer me but mental health services ARE a joke - I have a patient in crisis right now - well they will need to wait x days before anyone can see them!! So wrong

There are many services like Samaritans you can call this evening.
You just also have a number for the crisis team, give them a ring and chase it up

I agree. I spent over a year as an inpatient in an NHS psychiatric hospital and it didn’t help at all apart from keeping me alive.
Can you afford to pay for therapy OP?

So sorry to read that. Going private isn't an option unfortunately.

That’s a shame. There are some therapists who offer cheap sessions based on income though so would be worth looking into that if you can?

I get your frustrations op, you know what works for you. When I have a little dip - perhaps once every 2 years I know diazepam works for me short term. It just gives me you that little bit of space. I can understand not wanting to jump through all of the hoops via the crisis team. You know what works best for you.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this OP.
I imagine the GP was unhappy to prescribe medications when you're feeling as you currently are as it goes against their strict guidelines. Understandably, they worry you could then take those in a way to harm yourself. Normal practice is to refer to the crisis team for an assessment within 24 hours which should have been communicated clearly, rather than them telling you "today".
I've known it to happen where patients are refused all medications when they present with suicidal thoughts, and eventually having that medication but given in very small doses to collect at a time until things are more stable.

I know it's of no use to you at the moment, but once this particularly tricky time is over, it may help to have a discussion with your GP and a rescue plan which may or may not involve medication, to be used prior to things getting this severe? I.e when you notice a build up starting.

I hope you manage to get sorted soon. It's a really really tough place to be.

The Samaritans are fab. Some lovely people OP.

@hlc123 I hope your mind is leaving you be tonight. I'm sorry you've been let down when you need help the most. I know it's not always easy to do but can you do some meditation or yoga Nidra (there's some good ones on YouTube) before you try and go to sleep. Fellow anxious friend over here ❤️

Thinking of you OP. Try to be kind to yourself and look after yourself. I know it doesn’t feel like it at the moment but things will get better xx
Keep posting on here if you need some moral support

I’m so sorry, OP. It’s so shit when you tell them clearly and directly what will help and instead they send you round and round their flowchart of clinical responsibility that ends nowhere.

Thanks for the understanding comments. My point was I knew what the GP told me he had to do would make me feel worse and it has and I was refused what I knew would help.
I have had a lot of experience with mental health services from the age of 10-41 and things just keep getting worse.
A few years ago I was on a waiting list for the mental health team when suffering from intrusive thoughts and had explained my husband had to hide my house/ car keys from me so I couldn't get out of the house in the evening and drive my car in to a tree or jump in front of a train. I was then told I had a support system and support plan so would be taken off the waiting list - never mind if we'd had a house fire and if it was down to me to get us out the house we would have been screwed!!

It’s really shit, OP. I’ve had some shocking interactions with the crisis team. Sometimes they are not fit to interact with the people at all never mind incredibly vulnerable people. My anorexia was called an attention seeking, rich brats way to manipulate. They said this to my face. My attempt to end my life was called a silly little game. I have been passed from service to service and back again with each person saying they can’t help. I get that feeling of losing hope when looking for support and it’s just not there.
I hope I’m not speaking out of line here and would ask you check out this with your GP before you take anything but when my anxiety is high I add either some promethizine that I buy over the counter or amitryptiline from gp (spelling?) and propranolol from gp to calm the symptoms and so I can get some sleep. Once I’ve managed to get some sleep I’m in a better place to tackle the underlying issues. Maybe you could ask for some of those or if you can safely take over the counter anti histamines that cause drowsiness as a short term solution. However, I can understand reluctance to prescribe much in case you are tempted to overdose. Also, if you get to see a psychiatrist (which you may do with the crisis team) they can prescribe melatonin and then after that your GP can continue the prescription but for some reason in the UK, a GP can’t give the initial prescription for melatonin.

Just wanted to say I hope you're okay and getting some sleep. I feel your pain regarding feeling like a lost cause and professionals lacking empathy.