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I feel so let down hurt and lost

4 replies

Spendysis · 07/09/2024 23:13

I have mentioned before my nightmare situation with dsis who has gone nc with me and my family and caused me to have a strained relationship with my dm when it came to light she was helping herself to our elderly dm money

Since then I reluctantly reported the situation to office of public guardians in January then adult safeguarding in July who referred it to the police. Heard from opg in July when I emailed them to say the police were now investigating it that due to a backlog it hadn't even been assigned to anyone

So not to drip feed dsis has since going nc removed me as poa done an equity release on dm house and dm advised me she thinks she's changed her will

I've really struggled with all of this as we were a close family and despite dm giving dsis tens of thousands over the years to bail her out I never asked where mine or questioned it until she did it by using the banking app without dm knowing and even then I only warned dsis she may get in trouble

So today i rang the police for an update they had seen dm and were closing the investigation unless opg came up with something and as their backlog is 3 months i should hear soon yet I reported it January

I've been in tears all day and feel like I am about to have a panic attack I feel so let down and hurt by dm probably not her fault she's elderly and not sure on her capacity by dsis for treating me and my dc like this by the police and opg

I've done nothing never had a penny of dm money as I am adult so pay my own way unlike dsis yet I've been excluded from family events i presume dsis has bad mouthed me to family friends as they also don't speak to us including her best friend which is my dh cousin who as their dm were twins they grew up together

OP posts:
Spendysis · 08/09/2024 20:51

When I spoke to the police they said dm still wants to have a relationship with me and dc I went to see her yesterday but dsis was there so didn't call went today and she was pleasant but didn't invite me in when I asked her aren't you going to let me in she said she had no reason to let me in as she wasn't doing anything??? She's never doing anything other than watching the tv and usually appreciates the company I couldn't query it as she has a ring doorbell that is connected to dsis phone I am so upset

OP posts:
SquishyGloopyBum · 08/09/2024 21:32

This is awful op. I remember your older posts.

Can you keep on at the police? And the OPG?

I'm so sorry. I don't have advice but a ginormous hug. Keep talking.

Spendysis · 08/09/2024 23:33

@SquishyGloopyBum thank you the police officer had rung me from a mobile number so I texted him about dm not inviting me in now not sure if that is appropriate and i will ring adult safeguarding team tomorrow I am heartbroken at being in this situation in the first place it took so much for me to raise my concerns to opg and safeguarding team and now it feels like they are doing nothing

Opg in their email in July said they don't deal with coercion that is a police matter but the police visited dm who told them nothing untoward is going on so they closed the case well she didn't think anything was going on 14 months ago when she wasn't getting her bank statements until she found out £10k had gone missing She wouldn't of even known about equity release if dsis hadn't convinced her to go ahead she even told the social worker it was for dsis home improvements and holidays hence why it got passed to the police in the first place

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Spendysis · 08/09/2024 23:45

Sorry for that rant I am in tears I am hurt angry and upset and feel like I want to throw up dsis who I loved dearly has ruined our family taken everything financially we did take the photo albums and diaries dm did for my dc but accept any jewellery etc will go to dsis i can't even see her properly I wanted to tell her about ds new job dd dissertation results for her masters degree her new job

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