Hello all - I trust you are well. Now I know this is mainly for Mums. I seem to have a problem.
My name is Mike living in London and I am normally grounded,. Good job in IT . Fairly creative . Refurbishing my home and everything pretty much is self build.
I am proud of this for two reasons. I taught myself ( no video sites) etc. Proud to creat something from my head and into my home.
I cannot easily draw it . No skills in that area although there is some skill in 3D drawing on paper , but not great.
The problem lies: My house is not a home. There is clutter everywhere. It isn't clean. I have taken several photos before hand and although the areas improved it is a shoddy dirty horrible mess. . I don't even have sheets on my bed. I don't like after myself very well.
When at school I knew a few people that come from poor backgrounds and their clothes were not clean , they were untidy , hair matted , that sort of thing and sadly they were bullied.
But I am not like that. My parents boight me new clothes. My family home was clean and tidy but for some reason I have this self destruction, self harming if you like .
I have reinvented myself over and over . Read about how to tidy up clutter but I think there is a hording issue. Last week I was ruthless and threw out a few bags of stuff not sure what was in them.
I am fed up with this self destructive attitude. I am a positive , easy going person with this issue . To be honest it is slowly killing me.
I'm the UK they have a program called ' sort your life out' this is a god send and actually realised my home is not as bad as others but I still can't get passed that.
I can only say it is torture. It is like I am trying to sort out the mess, the clutter and my hands are being tied behind my back. I think I have serious mental issues and have and do have depressive episodes but I don't know what this is .
For.example: during my time of renevation I did not have any carpet in the front room , then I layed some underlay and that started to wear . Then I fitted carpet myself and now that is dirty and worn.
I have been to nice houses and not so nice houses. We all have gremlins in the cupboards but I don't judge as this is clearly a struggle for others as well.
Could this be ADHD or similar?
I hope you appreciate this has been hard for me.i have small collection of friends that see my home and know the situation. No one else goes in my home. One reason - I am really ashamed of the situation. Secondly - could be liable for injury.
I am hoping I send this because I need to find a resolution to this problem. Mainly it is time to move on and sell up and follow my dream if moving out of London after living here for nearly thirty years.
Any advice would be welcome. Sorry for the punctuation and spelling.
Best regards,
Mike