Lightbulb moment - Borderline personality disorder

[MunchingCeleryAlone]

After over 30 years of feeling different, not fitting in, isolated and being emotionally volatile and unstable; I think I'm highly likely to be 'Borderline Personality Disorder'.

I had a lightbulb moment a few days ago whilst doing yet another Google search for help with my painful, lonely and dysfunctional life - All of my symptoms, behaviours, instability, volatile mood swings and outbursts match with those descriptions for Borderline personality disorders.

It's sort of a relief to find this information, but also a hideous shame and terrifying to know that I should go to my GP for formal confirmation and help.

I've frantically read tons of stuff over the last few days, ordered self help books (waiting for delivery) and basically sobbed with a mixture of shame, worry and realisation that it's highly likely I have a serious issue.

I can't bear the thought of this likely diagnosis being put on my records, but realistically know that if I'm to finally get help with this agony then I have to speak with professionals.

Is anybody on here with a confirmed diagnosis or has experience of someone who has Borderline personality disorder?

What help / treatment did you or they get - does anything work/ help?

All help, support, information or guidance will be greatly appreciated.

@aroundtheblock999 hi.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling and feeling depressed - sending you a virtual hug my dear 💐🤗.
Are you getting help / medication for your low mood?
I'm in the Midlands and so far I'm really impressed with my surgery in-house MH team, the 2 GPs I've dealt with and the speed of the referral for consultant psychiatrist.
I'm desperately hoping I get to be assessed quickly and get the correct treatment for whatever they decide to diagnose me with.
I've struggled with this for so long now and not known why I felt so detached and different from everything and everyone 😢.
Just knowing that what I've been enduring all these years isn't me being a weirdo and that I'm not alone has been a tremendous relief.

@MunchingCeleryAlone came here to say how in awe of you I am for asking for help and researching your suspected condition/s.
It takes great courage to face up to these things and many many others don’t ever do that.

I have a relative I suspect has bpd but they are not as self aware as you and won’t ever ask for help. They behave in all the ways you describe and it’s very difficult to understand and cope with as a family member.

anyway I wish you all the best and hope you get the help you deserve.

@Esme32
I'm so sorry to hear that you suffered as a child - sending you a virtual hug 🤗💐.
If you've received a diagnosis, why aren't the psychiatric team able to refer you for NHS talking therapies or other treatments to help with the symptoms of this awful condition?
I finally got my head around a 'label' - I previously had a self-imposed stigma and negative self-talk about being assessed and referred to a psychiatrist 🙈. If a car was broken you'd take it to a mechanic, and my skewed thinking and meagre existence (not living fully) needs fixing, so I'm better being seen by the correct people if I'm to alleviate some of this anguish.
X

@benefitstaxcredithelp
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement - it's very much appreciated, but has taken me almost 30 years of mental anguish and inner torture to figure out that there's something 'different' about me and I would like to live and not mearley exist.
I hope you can find a way to speak with your relative or talk about an imaginary friend who acts like this and is looking for help?
Sending you and your relative my best wishes and both a big virtual hug 💐🤗.
X