Help me stop this self destruction

[Selfdestructmodeactivated]

I don't know why I'm doing this. I lost my only parent earlier this year. Since then I've been a mess. Not eating or eating all the wrong things. Vaping although I never have before. My house is a mess & I do nothing about it. I live alone, have 2 dcs who have left home. I'm just angry at everyone & everything. I don't cook & get by on energy drinks & rubbish food. The only thing I do without fail is walk my dog. Everything else is in an out of control spiral & I don't know how to make it stop.

Brilliant! Keep it up - you’re doing amazingly well - like the last poster said - the change in such a short time is just great.

I’m sure that lots of others have said but -
Your mum would be proud I’m sure.
Keep going.
Bad days and lazy days and even days where you do all the wrong things are ok. Just try again the next day.

Thank you! I have a Springer Spaniel, he's 11 now but still thinks he's a puppy 😂 Definitely good to have him around as he needs a lot of exercise which keeps me busy & he's always happy to see me...

Gotta love a springer! Keep up the good work 😘

Had a busy couple of days. Still keeping on top of things. Had planned to go to the gym tonight but got an unexpected invite to dinner at my son's. Don't feel too guilty, had a nice catch up with him & dinner was lovely. Will go to the gym tomorrow instead. Also did some planting in my garden. Feels good keeping busy 😊

Just brilliant and Lucky you having dinner at your son’s! My AC live an hour and a half away and we miss them dearly.

Went to the gym tonight although I really didn't feel like it. Surprised myself. A few weeks ago I would just not have bothered. The best thing is I feel much better now I've been. I've been given so much encouragement on here. Thank you

Just read your thread and wanted to comment; so impressed with your turn around and your positive actions. Keep going! And well done, if that’s not patronising! I had a very difficult year last year and it’s little steps every day that helps.

Just found your thread too. Keep up the good work. Another little self care thing I like is to do is get an inexpensive bunch of flowers and have them out in the open area of the house where you see them a lot.

With the food, could you do a batch cook of something you really like and freeze into containers for the days of no energy? It will be a bit like your higher energy day self looking after your low energy self. If you can afford it a multicooker is great for batch cooking.

You are inspirational- you are really doing so well! I love the op’s idea of buying yourself some flowers. A lovely reward.

Thank you. I don't feel inspirational at all. But I do feel I'm making progress day by day & that's a good thing. I have my counselling appointment tomorrow so will see what she thinks. She said last week that I don't value myself in that I will cook a meal if I have someone else to cook for but I don't see it as being worth the bother to do it for just myself. That's definitely true & something I need to work on...

That’s a good point - I would be exactly the same. I hope today’s session goes well.

Was absolutely exhausted after my counselling session. Came home & fell asleep. Woke up & walked the dog then went to bed & slept all night, which I very rarely do! Feeling tired & emotional today. No real plans for the weekend again but will tidy & clean the house & go from there. I did buy myself some flowers on my way home yesterday, just a cheap bunch of roses from Aldi but haven't done that in a while.

Enjoy having a lazy weekend. You deserve one after all you’ve been doing. It’s always good to have a lazy few days once in while. Just be careful you don’t spiral downwards. Don’t feel guilty, just decide to do very little and relax. I hope you’re ok.

Batteries recharged & ready to go for another week. Have slept, read & watched TV. Weather been rubbish again so haven't felt the need to go out. Did however clean my car during a break in the rain as it was long overdue!

Well done! You really sound better - are you an England fan? If so, hopefully a win will cheer us all up! Have a good week!

Haha not really as I'm Scottish but I wouldn't mind if they won...

Aah - well, we were rubbish anyway! Have a good week xx

Booked myself a manicure for after work today. The 1st time in a long time I've done something like this & was really looking forward to it. Never been to this person before but she's just cancelled me with about half an hours notice. I know these things happen but I'm irrationally upset about it 😪 it just signified me doing something nice for myself for a change

Bless you! That is really rubbish, but rebook with someone else - that person doesn’t deserve you. Please don’t let it get you down. You’ve been doing so well xx

I've been to the gym instead. Feel better now 😊 I will rebook with someone else but everywhere is soooo busy. Took me ages to find something. She has messaged me back but only has availability during the day which I already told her I couldn't manage! I guess she doesn't want a new customer.

Well done for going to the gym - much better for you anyway!

Just realised I haven't updated for a few days. Been an emotional week. Counselling session today was good but exhausting. Went to the gym afterwards which was good but im sooo tired now so I hope I sleep tonight as sleep hasn't been good this week. I'm working through things, beginning to process my thoughts & feelings so it's bound to throw up some strong emotions. Thanks as always for the support

I’m glad you’re ok - if exhausted. I hope you sleep well tonight and again, try to do something nice over the weekend. Xxx

I hope you’re ok x