Anyone else sad and want to hand hold?

[Helplessandheartbroke]

Mumsnet has really helped me pull put of a possible breakdown and while I'm out of the worst of it, I'm still very sad. I'm crying to myself now so I can put on a brave face in the morning.

@Words apologies! I knew I recognised your user name. I'm so sorry. Was it just before Halloween? I'm here for you and I completely understand you. I've been weird since too x

Hello @Helplessandheartbroke yes I saw your reply on the other thread, thank you. So sorry to hear about your dog, our furry family members are very special aren't they, it must be incredible painful coping with the loss.

Evening everyone I’m in a lot of pain with my legs tonight struggling to sleep.

My DDog has a cancerous tumour that can’t be operated on so she just has palliative care, basically painkillers and see how she goes. She’s doing ok just now but it’s only a matter of time, we will all be devastated, she’s very much an adored part of our family.

I hope everyone has a restful night x

@KingArthur1964 thank you. You know how ocd makes you blame yourself and concentrate on all the negatives.... that's been me x

@headache how are you today? I'm sorry to hear about your ddog x

Hope everyone's doing OK x

How is everyone?

im struggling a bit today 🥺 had a better week this week but feeling a bit overwhelmed again and low. I hate the constant up and downs it’s very unsettling for an anxious mind! xx

I'm okay, still here. Felt some slight positives in the last few days but woke up today with the impending doom feeling 😔 I start ect on Tues and I think I'm scared incase it makes me worse or changes me completely. I'm glad you had some positives in your week, it really is a roller coaster xx

the prospect of ECT must be so daunting, will be thinking of u Tuesday ❤️ hold on to the positive thoughts, hopefully they will become more frequent for us both! x

Thank you, I keep thinking that I don't need it, but I keep holding on to the hope that it will "cure me" 😔

I'm supposed to be starting a medication for an underactive thyroid also but my thyroid is fine, but apparently it can be used for depression. But I'm not even sure 10000% what my diagnosis even is? It's like anxiety, but i can't control my emotions then the intrusive thoughts and just the dissociation. They mentioned personality disorder so God knows 🤦‍♀️ hope your okay xx

Have a few sessions maybe @hk1993x snd see how u feel? Did they say how soon after you would notice a difference?

im ok, just having a flat day today, I felt quite optimistic in the week and I know it’s ok to have off days but I find it hard to not spiral downwards again. x

Same. 🌸🌸

@EatCrow & @oceanwaveswater I feel the same too, I have very few friends now, maybe 2 and hardly any family. They only people who truly give a stuff about me are DH & my DC. I used to have a group of friends but I realised that quite a few of them only talked about themselves and their DC, they never asked how mine were. One also used me and when I stopped being useful to her she dropped me like a hot brick. I suppose having no friends is better than having fake ones. I can’t believe how tired I am tonight and that’s with the clocks going forward too

Hey sorry I've been absent I've been trying to have more family time this weekend. Spoke to dh today about my ocd and he doesn't get it at all! I'm tired of my thoughts being 100mph and I'm just anxious all the time! I'm sorry to read you ladies are struggling too. I'm here for each and every one of you. Reach out if you'd like to x

Hey @Helplessandheartbroke, do u feel your DH is supportive even though he doesn’t get it? I think it’s really hard to understand someone’s mental health issues if you’ve never experienced it yourself but I hope he doesn’t make you feel that your feelings aren’t valid just because he doesn’t understand them? X

@Whycantgiraffesdance he tries but if I tell him I think I shouldn't have done this or should have done that etc he laughs and thinks I'm mad. He's very logical so really doesn't understand my thoughts but in a way it helps me see I'm being daft if that makes sense? So it kind of does help my not worry so much. How are you today? X

Yes that does make sense. I’m feeling a bit unsettled again, feel like I’m doing ok but that I’m on the very edge of not being ok! 🙈 feel like I’ve taken a few steps back these last few days but I think maybe I’m a bit nervous about it being the school holidays and knowing I’ve got to deal with both kids at home!

going to contact my gp tomorrow to see if I can up the dose on my meds as I think I need a bit more help x

how is everyone else? X

Hi everyone 😊 I've been struggling today, the last few days actually. I think I'm stupid, ugly and fat (well, I am fat!) and just feel unhappy about everything. I tried talking to DP today so but too, but he doesn't understand, so I've kind of given up trying to explain what's going on in my head. I've had counselling and know these thoughts aren't helpful, but I'm just useless at changing things. I've been trying to lose weight, but felt quite ill, so gave up. Everything feels so difficult again. I suspect I have ADHD, as I'm constantly bored, unsatisfied and impulsive, making rubbish rash decisions. Usually this involves getting a pet .. caught myself looking online at pets again, but it isn't really an option. I've already bought a few things I don't need 🤦‍♀️ This is how it usually goes when I feel like this!

Hi everyone. I start ECT tomorrow and I'm absolutely terrified so just came for a hand hold with you all ❤️❤️

Have they given you information about it? Hope it goes well.

@Whycantgiraffesdance I'm with you and here if you need anything x

@hk1993x best of luck for tomorrow. Please keep us posted x

@upanddowns hope you feel better in the morning after a good sleep. I'm up with ds.... x

Hand holding ladies x

good luck today @hk1993x things are nearly always never as bad as we imagine in our heads! Keep us posted if u can later x

sorry you’re struggling @upanddowns keep talking to us if it helps ❤️

thank you @Helplessandheartbroke today was the first day in a long time my partners gone straight to work at 7 and I’ve been left to take care of both kids, was a bit wobbly and had a little cry in the bathroom but we are all up, dressed and fed! Just wish simple things like this didn’t panic me so much 🥺how are u today? x

That's me had it, was relatively quick. My head and jaw are a little sore and I'm shattered. Got to spend hrs on the ward due to anesthesia. Woke up from the anesthetic crying cause I just thought of my kids 😔❤️

@Whycantgiraffesdance well done you! What are your plans the rest of today? I'm shattered as I've had around 4 hours of broken sleep and now I'm working.... x

@hk1993x you're doing this for your kids! When are you allowed home? What exactly did they do today x

I'm allowed home in the next hour or so. They keep me for 4 hours after having a general anesthesia for observation. I came in at 8am, they done obs and I was taken up to the theatres at 9.10 where the do the ect and was was back down in the ward for 10.30ish. I'm just waiting to see psychiatrist now, could sleep for a week now lol x

Well done @hk1993x ! U did it! Hope u get to go home soon and rest ❤️

just been to the park with my mum and the kids, eldest is being really obnoxious today! Feel like I could sit and cry to be honest, I’m trying so hard to pull myself out of this depression but it’s exhausting 😞 hope u manage to get a better night sleep tonight @Helplessandheartbroke