What's wrong with me?

[missb10]

Every time I have something good in my life, I throw it away. I had a house which I owned outright without a mortgage or rent, but I sold it and now rent a flat that I can't afford even though it's the cheapest in the area. I had a job, really cushy and the people were nice, but I lost it because of too many absences and lates. WTF is wrong with me?

Maybe you feel you don't deserve to be happy. How was your childhood?

Yes eyesopen, i do have that feeling. My childhood was so so, I had a good upbringing with supportive parents, but I got bullied in school. Could that be why?

Possibly, does the bullying still bother you? What are the triggers/thoughts that make you appear to self-sabotage? We generally do things that, at the time, seem to be the best option for us. Was that the case but the decisions turned out to not in your best interests?