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Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Original poster

I can't do it anymore

59 replies

cannotdoitanymore · 10/12/2023 20:26

I'm so low and I have literally no one. I can't think straight anymore, all I have are thoughts of not wanting to be here. I can't wake up and do it all again tomorrow I just can't. I'm on hold to the crisis team but it's been so long and no one is answering. Where do I turn next? I don't know what to do.

OP posts:

widowtwankywashroom · 10/12/2023 20:28

Breathe.
Talk to us.
Tell us what is wrong.
Ground yourself.
You can do it.

Original poster

cannotdoitanymore · 10/12/2023 20:29

My partner is nice to me one minute and then acts like he despises me the next. If we argue I get ignored for hours sometimes days. I'm failing as a mum. I can't keep going like this.

OP posts:

Notoldeeally · 10/12/2023 20:29

Can you go and make a cup of tea , wrap yourself in a blanket, and let it out , for now , on here..

jeaux90 · 10/12/2023 20:30

OP I'm so sorry you are feeling this way but it's good you've tried to contact help.

Are you having any counselling or therapy? Is there something you care about?

Guavafish1 · 10/12/2023 20:30

get rid of him. you'll feel a lot better

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 10/12/2023 20:30

It might feel impossible but you really need to get away from him. A lot of your misery comes from him. Nothing will change if you don't get away from him.

BrusselsPate · 10/12/2023 20:31

If you can't get through to the crisis team please call the Samaritans, their number's 116123.

Impatientwino · 10/12/2023 20:31

You can text SHOUT to 85258 - they are a mental health text service and operate 24-7

They will answer as soon as they can and you can talk via text to a volunteer. I'm so sorry you feel this way

Keeva2017 · 10/12/2023 20:31

I don’t know the details of your life but im certain despite any intrusive thoughts you’re having to the contrary, your children need and want you here. Hold on to that.

EachFallenRobin · 10/12/2023 20:31

Hello @cannotdoitanymore I don't know how to help but I did once feel like this, many years ago, and want you to know I am here on this thread so if you can say anymore I can hear you and I understand how painful it is.

Didimum · 10/12/2023 20:32

Hang on in there, OP. We’ve got you. Keep talking.

MNHQ

KimMumsnet · 10/12/2023 20:34

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources: https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health

You can also contact the Samaritans at https://www.samaritans.org or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Mental Health Webguide | Mumsnet

A guide to information and services related to mental health support. Find reliable organisations and support services here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health

10HailMarys · 10/12/2023 20:35

You aren’t failing as a mum. How many kids do you have?

Your partner is an arsehole and you deserve a lot better than him. I suspect your mental health will improve if you get rid of him.

Keep taking deep breaths and remember you are a great mum and very much needed by your child/children, who love you very, very much.

If you can’t get help from the crisis team, please try Samaritans.

YeahIsaidit · 10/12/2023 20:36

YES
YOU
CAN!!

You're a bad ass, you're not failing as a mum, your kid is awesome right? That is because of you!!

Your partner being an arse is on them, not you, what kind of grown up sulks for days on end? Fuck em, you're better off without.

DO NOT GIVE UP!! You can't show the world what a kick ass bitch you are otherwise

cosmicfig · 10/12/2023 20:36

Life will get better for you, you may need to make some changes in your life though x you are so strong to make that call for help.

Also am sure most mums feel like they are failing sometimes too but it doesn’t mean they are.

jeaux90 · 10/12/2023 20:43

I was with someone who was a narcissist. I felt like there was no point despite having a gorgeous baby.

I left. I can't tell you the relief and peace I had being away from him and have continued to have since. I had therapy after I left too and recovered.

Original poster

cannotdoitanymore · 10/12/2023 20:47

I sort of rely on him financially. Not fully as I work too, but his income is a huge part of our household. I'd struggle on my own and what sort of life is that for my girls. I'm just done.

OP posts:

Original poster

cannotdoitanymore · 10/12/2023 20:48

I'm so grateful to all the people who've replied truly I am. I can't really respond individually as I'm crying So much I can't breathe. I can barely see clearly anymore. I wisb there was a pill to stop this instantly, I'd take it.

OP posts:

Original poster

cannotdoitanymore · 10/12/2023 20:50

I've tried calling him so many times to sort out the latest argument but he will not answer. He just cancels my calls. This is his tactic for gaining control and emotionally abusing / stonewalling me.

OP posts:

Ladyj84 · 10/12/2023 20:51

Can i just point out if your depressed then no matter what anyone does around you you can perceive it as bad unfortunately. Get yourself a cuppa and a hot water bottle and blanket. Set your alarm for your Dr in the morning and tell them it's urgent. You sound so down bless you, I've been there and once I got the help never looked back

Wolfiefan · 10/12/2023 20:52

All of your posts are about him and how bad the relationship is. That seems to be the problem. If things are bad and he won’t work with you to make them better then you need to find a way to separate. Do you have any diagnosed MH issues?

Original poster

cannotdoitanymore · 10/12/2023 20:53

I had severe postnatal depression with my second child, who is only 2.

OP posts:

Original poster

cannotdoitanymore · 10/12/2023 20:55

I've got a hot water bottle as we speak, cuddling it as stupid as that sounds. It's helping to bring small amount of comfort. I've given up on the crisis team, no one is answering.

OP posts:

tdino · 10/12/2023 20:56

Going by what @Wolfiefan said OP are you able to give a rough area. Then we can point women's aid and other services to get you out of there asap

makeminealargeoneagain · 10/12/2023 20:56

Your girls need you OP. You are loved by them and you are their world. Hold on to that special love. You can move forward in small steps and build a new and better life for yourself and for them. Please keep posting and people will listen and help you. Take care xxxx

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