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Original poster

2023/24 SAD thread

428 replies

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 13/10/2023 12:34

Hi again, I’m back for another year ☹️. I can’t see that anyone has started a SAD thread yet but today seems to be the day that it’s really kicking in! So here’s another thread to support each other through winter 🥶.

Just to introduce myself, I have regular depression with SAD on top, an eating disorder and ASD (a fun combination).

All are welcome, the only rule is no one is allowed to mention, hygge, snuggling or being cosy!

OP posts:
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MistyTrains2 · 14/12/2023 07:49

I feel ill with stress :(

I have conjunctivitis too.

EmmaEmerald · 14/12/2023 12:28

MistyTrains2 · 14/12/2023 07:49

I feel ill with stress :(

I have conjunctivitis too.

sorry to hear that

anything you can chuck out from the to do list? Or is it all work?

sorry to ask but mum got really worked about wrapping a gift the other day (she's 85). She knew damn fine there were gift bags in the cupboard but said "this ought to be wrapped". 🤦🏽‍♀️

EmmaEmerald · 14/12/2023 12:35

Last night I had a 6pm coffee that seems to kick in around 11 and thus didn't get to sleep till about 3. I thought it was okay to get stuff done any time but actually I'm not happy with it.

So no more of that and will try for a more normal bedtime.

EmmaEmerald · 14/12/2023 20:42

I have achieved almost nothing today. Not sure whether to just write today off or what. I did go for a walk - no help at all.

EmmaEmerald · 14/12/2023 21:14

I realise I’m chatting to myself at this point

but just had a message from bestie who is always her “best self” but this is her favourite time of year. So as well as her very senior job, today she got up early, finished some Christmas cooking and is now sorting out a bunch of stuff for her elderly mum.

I could barely find the energy to get off MN. this is definitely one of my worst winters. I’d like to go to bed now with a sleeping pill and try to get things done tomorrow but if the pill doesn’t work, it’s hellish.

MistyTrains2 · 14/12/2023 21:15

Somehow the day got better. Had some positive work news. I also had a burst of inspiration and went to the gym. Ah there is nothing like a heavy session. I just started light and built up, did about 5 machines. Got some good weight going. And it was fun which is an emotion I haven't felt for a while.

I then came back and had a really spicey curry which I highly recommend, the hotter the better, for dealing with SAD as feel quite perky now.

Anyway dear god thank you we are one day closer to the 21st!

MistyTrains2 · 14/12/2023 21:17

I know @EmmaEmerald A friend told me today how she was staying up late sorting cards and making things, I can barely get through one day!

However it is aspirational that I could be like that one day!

EmmaEmerald · 14/12/2023 21:25

@MistyTrains2 thank you for replying

one of the hardest things about this time I year is no one to talk to.

I did think that forcing myself to do some kind of movement first thing might help. And not outdoors because that just makes it worse. I feel completely zoned out, like I’ve taken a pill that makes me inert.

I don’t want to read or watch anything today, no concentration. Hopefully this is a rock bottom day. I haven’t cried so I guess that’s a plus.

Original poster
Idratherbepaddleboarding · 15/12/2023 07:13

Congratulations @MistyTrains2 on your work news!

I’ve had a really stressful week at work dealing with a young lady that has just come out of prison and been horrifically let down by other agencies which has culminated in her sleeping on the streets last night 😡. I’ve done all I can and got nothing else done all week but there’s nothing else I can do now.

@EmmaEmerald I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time 🙁 x x

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OrangeDino · 15/12/2023 08:30

@EmmaEmerald sorry you are finding things so tough. It's hard when others seem to be flying through when you're not and you can't work out how to flick the switch to be like them.

@MistyTrains2 so glad you had a positive day. Well done on getting to the gym. Hopefully yesterday will carry you through a couple of days at least.

@Idratherbepaddleboarding that sounds unbelievably difficult. You can't do any more but I imagine it's very hard to walk away from your work at the end of the day. And especially hard if you're struggling already.

I've had a very hard week and haven't been able to post, but have found reading everyone's posts comforting. It's good to know I'm not alone. Really struggling just to get through the days and I feel so guilty for letting everyone down.
In good news, my sad lamp was found during the search for the Christmas tree.

EmmaEmerald · 15/12/2023 18:37

@OrangeDino Sorry you're struggling

I thought today was going to be a no-tears day. I was struggling by 2pm.

Then dropped my dinner on the floor, burst into tears. Called my mother, which made things worse.

Now drinking.

lyingonthebeach · 16/12/2023 07:24

Sending sunny thoughts to all of us. This grey, pressing weather has me struggling to get out of bed and am already back to bed at 3pm some days. A week of Spanish sunshine was a real pick-me-up but a few days back in this with months of it ahead has me crashing back down. Thanks for being here. This thread really helps

lyingonthebeach · 16/12/2023 07:26

@EmmaEmerald @OrangeDinoI don't blame you for drinking. Cheers🍻

MistyTrains2 · 16/12/2023 07:58

Hi everyone, so wierd how comforting it is to know we are not alone. We are all affected quite a lot by SAD so I can see it more objectively.

I am into one good day, one bad day. Yesterday I had high hopes of clearing my to do list. It was not to be. I am going to try again today. My body is feeling a little stressed and my tinnitus is through the roof.

Original poster
Idratherbepaddleboarding · 16/12/2023 10:33

@OrangeDino thanks, it’s just so frustrating that the council or adult social care could help this poor lady but they just… aren’t. It has made me extra grateful for my warm, comfortable home.

@lyingonthebeach we went abroad in half term and I lost my antidepressants but didn’t even feel like I needed them! I got a new prescription pretty sharpish when we got home though!

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EmmaEmerald · 16/12/2023 15:46

I don't go abroad now but i've also noticed it wears off immediately when you come back!

Best xmas I had was when returning from California on 23rd Dec - must be 10 years ago now. Told parents they could pop by if they wanted but I'd mostly be asleep, I did warn them but they kept me company for 2 hours while I yawned and they looked put out.

I am rapidly shrinking the window of time I can face at mum's. In fact, I reconsidered going away with my sister but I will lose the support of those among mum's friends that I need myself, (after being dumb enough to move, I need her friends, it's complicated).

Things will be better in Jan.

I keep telling myself, ➡️get to shortest day ➡️ get through Xmas Day ➡️ get through NYE ....and FINISH!

To quote Joan Rivers "when you're walking through hell, walk faster".

so, coffee and binge watch starting now.

Original poster
Idratherbepaddleboarding · 17/12/2023 16:50

How’s everyone’s weekends been? Mine’s been good but I’m deathly tired today 😭.

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MistyTrains2 · 17/12/2023 19:40

Went out to some Christmas shit. Home earlier than I thought. My flat is a tip so I'm going to power up and clean it as I have some extra time...Will feel great when it is done.

Worked yesterday so nothing exciting.

MyOtherNameToday · 17/12/2023 19:48

Just marking place with interest!

EmmaEmerald · 17/12/2023 20:18

I was so depressed last night, I really struggled. I started thinking all sorts of weird stuff. Things I've tried before to cheer up in winter that just don't work.

Today I had to go out and was reminded that I don't have the 99 problems that most other people have at xmas. I don't take pleasure in the misery of others but at the moment, I can cheer myself up with not having certain issues, shall we say!

I think today was the only slightly sunny day we have in the forecast for a long time. I'm tired and struggling to keep warm, no matter what the thermostat says.

MistyTrains2 · 18/12/2023 04:41

Sorry to hear that @EmmaEmerald , it is horrible when it takes over and it's hard to see outside of it.

I just hyperfocused my way through cleaning the flat. Upshot - flat is no longer a shit tip.

lyingonthebeach · 18/12/2023 11:54

A friend visited yesterday (soon could be ex friend) and told me I'd feel much better if I put up some fairy lights 🤬.

Fortunately, there was a bottle of merlot just waiting to help me!

Original poster
Idratherbepaddleboarding · 18/12/2023 12:27

Urgh wrote out a long reply then had to take a phone call an MN did that stupid refreshing to an advert page it does 😡.

It’s been lovely here over the weekend, but back to rain and more rain today. I’ve got loads of work to do before I finish on Thurs for Xmas but I’m WFH today and I’m not even dressed yet 😂. Got a very comfy dog snoozing on me though, I wish I was him!

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MistyTrains2 · 18/12/2023 13:50

Overslept and now my day is a shit show. Also got a ridiculous amount to do before Christmas work wise. Very stressed.

MistyTrains2 · 19/12/2023 19:53

Work christmas do today. Got shit all done in the office then feigned interest in 'how everyone is spending Christmas'. That's my good deed done, ah the irony.