2023/24 SAD thread

[Idratherbepaddleboarding]

Hi again, I’m back for another year ☹️. I can’t see that anyone has started a SAD thread yet but today seems to be the day that it’s really kicking in! So here’s another thread to support each other through winter 🥶.

Just to introduce myself, I have regular depression with SAD on top, an eating disorder and ASD (a fun combination).

All are welcome, the only rule is no one is allowed to mention, hygge, snuggling or being cosy!

Woo hoo the shortest day tomorrow!! I am super tired today. Not in the best mood. But on we go. Been doing light box and vitamins which is helping.

Way too much sugar at work do yesterday. Pervasive feeling that I might burst into tears. Had all the vitamins and ploughing on.

Ours is tomorrow but I’m really excited as I haven’t had a work do in 6 years and it’s a proper dinner and dancing affair and I have a gorgeous new dress.

There’s been so much food in the office this week though and I feel gross with the amount I’ve eaten 🙈.

Yesterday I stupidly asked a “client” what they were doing for Christmas and made them cry so I won’t make that mistake again, I was trying to lighten the mood 🙈.

That sounds lovely. Ours was in a bog standard pub and frankly overpriced.

Haha I am bordering on tears with that question. We didn't plan anything and I am skint.

@MistyTrains2 I can’t wait for the party but I’m freaking out a little over having to eat a 3 course meal! Today has been the most stressful day ever at work but at least my out of office is now on!

Happy Winter Solstice everyone! Onwards and upwards to lighter days! 🌞

Yay can’t wait for lighter nights! It feels soo dark today.

Thanks for this thread y'all. Saving my soul as we plod through.

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas! We had the best one we’ve ever had I think 🥰.

I'm so pleased you had such a good Christmas @Idratherbepaddleboarding . That's lovely. Was there something particular that made it the best one, or was it just everything was as it should be and everybody happy?

Mine was a bit mixed. Parts were absolutely lovely, but had a slightly difficult day with extended family. Shouldn't let things get to me so much.
Still, kids were happy and that's the main thing!
A few quiet days now, which I really need. Weather is horrendous here and it seems to have been dark all day.

Hope everyone else had a good Christmas.

Onwards to lighter days ahead. The past week has been a write-off for me as one of my other health conditions decided to play up on Christmas eve morning and I woke up in semi-paralysis of all 4 limbs which happens occasionally. It has been almost 4 years since an attack that has been this bad so Ive been completely confined to bed for the past 5 days. Thankful for good friends who came in and brought me food and helped me to the bathroom and get changed. So Christmas has been a write-off, the food is in the fridge and freezer untouched. Im getting function back slowly so I can now use my hands again. FND is the bane of my life.

@NotanotherboxofFrogs Jesus, that sounds horrendous! Hope you make a quick recovery.

@OrangeDino I think mostly because we spent it just the 4 of us (me, DH, DS and dog 😂) so there was no stressing or rushing around. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family to bits and they’re no trouble at all but it’s added stress when people are coming round or we have to go somewhere and DH in particular gets stressed and grumpy if people are coming round wanting everything to be perfect.

DS in particular made it perfect. He’s 14 and my friends have had a terrible time this year with sulky teenagers refusing to join in and being ungrateful but DS was amazing. He’d bought DH and I presents with his own money from his weekend job and was so excited to give us them, he made us open our presents before he did. He’d bought me perfume and electric hand warmers and DH aftershave and the gloves that DH keeps nicking from him so he has his own.

When he finally did open his presents, he was so happy with every single thing he got and so grateful.

He also cooked breakfast for us and Christmas dinner all by himself (he absolutely loves cooking and cooks for us every night but he was really excited to do Christmas dinner and it was honestly the best we’ve had!).

We all went on a dog walk after breakfast then DH and DS built DS’s new gaming chair. DH is usually not very patient when building things but they worked together and I chilled with a very wet, tired dog and listened to them chatting away.

After dinner we played Monopoly, which was nice as we don’t often play board games but my parents bought me our local edition and then we did actually go out to our friends’ parents after a last minute invitation (we’re friends with their whole family). I was a bit grumpy about that TBH as I was in my pjs already and felt like more chilling but it turned out really fun so I’m glad we did go.

Sorry for the essay! Anyway, I’ve noticed the nights getting lighter already, it’s just a shame about yet another storm.

Lovely to read about your Christmasses.
@Idratherbepaddleboarding
I'm sorry, what? Your 14 year old cooks dinner for you every night? Where did you get this teenager? Glad it was a lovely time for all.

I spent xmas alone but it was the right choice for me. Need to curb cheese consumption.

@MistyTrains2 yep, every night unless it’s oven food, he doesn’t do ready made food, the more herbs and spices required the better! I’ve no idea where we got him from, he’s an incredible human being especially for a teenager, we’re so lucky 🥰.

@NotanotherboxofFrogs sorry to hear that.

Also Sorry to be AWOL

Hope everyone is okay and other absent posters are having a good time

I was a dinner cooking teen, I was interested in cooking back then!

Avoiding all mention of the C word so not been on here much.

I really think these are the worst light levels we've had in years.

Today I didn't get showered till about 11. I have been trying to get more exercise but all it does is wear out the energy I have for normal tasks.

That said, I had a breakdown in July and the doc said he'd be pleased if I was fully recovered by spring, so that is a factor.

However, I do notice that my bright lamps are better with the curtains closed - the grey murk literally takes over the room and the light has to battle dark grey. Close the curtains and they have a better environment to work in, if that makes sense. So it's ceiling lights and daylight lamp.

Glad to have got past the C word but looking forward to the whole period being over really. Unfortunately I'm really feeling the effects of my ill advised move because now it's a 15 min walk in rain just to get fruit and veg. There and back. Silly me.

I did do a full workout one day - Wednesday - and that wore me out completely.

Next winter I would like to have some indoor sport I'm fit enough to do. I am eating very carefully as my weight has finally caught up with me, I never used to feel the ill effects.

Chores are pretty much going undone but I know when it's time to do nothing. Some sun forecast for New Year's Eve which is good as I tend to do a big clean on NYE.

@Idratherbepaddleboarding your Christmas sounds perfect and so does your DS! I too am wondering where you got such a teenager. I may return mine for a replacement!😂
It sounds a really calm, quiet and peaceful Christmas, and they are the parts of mine that I appreciated most. We are reconsidering how we do Christmas a bit next year. I''d like to run away from it all but the DCs wouldn't be happy with that!

@MistyTrains2 I'm glad you made the right choice for you over Christmas and hope you're still enjoying the cheese!

@NotanotherboxofFrogs so sorry your Christmas has been a write off. I know from seeing a friend's ( young adult) child suffer with it how awful it can be. I hope you are improving and have managed to eat some of your Christmas food. Thank goodness for your lovely friends.

@EmmaEmerald sorry you're having such a tough time. You're right about the light and weather- so rubbish. Don't worry about chores if you need to rest. I think it's really important to take time to rest at this time of year (I'm dreading going back to work next week).
The enforced walk to the shop may help in terms of exercise but it doesn't sound like it's helping your mood. Any chance of deliveries? Tesco woosh is good for a small amount. It's a costly way to do it, but maybe just on your worst days, to take the pressure off?
In terms of exercise, might some really gentle yoga help (find just a 10 minute gentle one on you tube), ideally with a relaxation at the end. Exercise but also calming and restorative (slowly considers taking own advice here........maybe.....)
I guess your recovery is a long balancing act, but spring is coming and hopefully you will continue to recover day by day

Sorry for my infrequent then lengthy replies. I'm not very good at keeping up. I'm full of cold so feeling extra sorry for myself because I really need to get out for a long walk and shake off all the Christmas stress!

I know what you mean about Xmas being over - phew! Just get NY out of the way and it might feel as if we are on the way.... Mind you, Jan and Feb have to be battled through before we can feel any hope 😶but I am trying to be positive about a good, light-filled spring and summer 🤞

True @lyingonthebeach . I tend to struggle most through January and February. Trying to start making plans for the spring to look forward to.

It was such a beautiful morning this morning, I went to our village hall to set up for tonight’s NYE party and the sun was streaming in through the wall of windows and it was lovely and warm so I just stood and stared out for a while pretending it was spring and looking forward to my dog walk. By the time we’d finished I didn’t have enough time before picking DS up from work and by the time I’d done that, dark clouds had descended and it started pouring down so we got soaked 😭.

What’s everyone’s plans for NYE? I’m so excited for the village party, we always have the best parties!

Well this year’s party turned into a disaster. DH was assaulted while trying to throw 2 men who’d been fighting out of the hall and was knocked unconscious. We spent the night in A&E but luckily he “just” has a broken nose and cuts and bruises. The police are involved and looking for the offender.

DH is very sore and tired but also very annoyed that the night he’d spent months planning was ruined by some scum bag. The worst part is, he’d come with the band we booked!

DH managed a bit of sleep but I spent the night on a plastic chair helping other patients as A&E was an absolute shambles! I’ve been up for 30 hours now 😭.

Oh no I'm so sorry - NOT the start to 2024 that anyone would want! Sounds really scary. Did you manage to get your DH to the hospital ok? Cant believe that sort of thing would happen at a village party - some folk just shouldn't be allowed out. Absolutely awful. Hopefully the police find who it was, not that it compensates you for your awful night! I bet a&e at new year was interesting 😬 maybe the band can shed some light on who it was?

Maybe have an hour's nap to put you on until you go to bed tonight, or are you just going to plough on until bedtime? I assune you're having to keep a close eye on DH for concussion etc so you maybe don't want to nap. Well, 2024 can only get better from here? 🫣

@Ecghelpplease thanks 😊an ambulance came in about half and hour which is impressing on NYE in the middle of nowhere! Our friends’ mum came and picked us up when we finally got out.

4 police cars with 8 officers also attended 😂. They know who it is and are on with finding and arresting him. I hope he’ll get a prison sentence, but working in the field, I suspect it will be a suspended sentence although he assaulted DH twice and an ex-cop once, so 3 separate offences, plus he knocked DH unconscious and broke a bone. The level of violence can clearly be seen on CCTV.

A&E was horrendous! The staff were clearly overstretched but also making crazy mistakes like losing a patient 🤯. He wasn’t lost, he’d been taken to a ward, even I knew that. The poor lady in the trolley behind us (there were 10 of us on trolleys in the corridor) had to explain her Crohn’s disease symptoms to the nurse in front of all of us and I ended up fetching her water all night as no one else did (and I really didn’t mind).

I’m tired but not the slightest bit sleepy, I’m probably still full of adrenaline. DH can’t eat solid food as he bit his tongue badly and his mouth is all swollen so I went to get him some soup from the only local shop that’s open on New Year’s Day in my pjs that I put on when we got home, still in last night’s make up. I have zero fucks left to give today 😂.

Oh and I’m really pissed off that someone is already complaining about the “big fight that took place outside the hall”. DH wouldn’t have had time to fight back if he’d wanted to and he’s the opposite of a fighter, I haven’t seen him get aggressive to anyone in the 18 years we’ve been together!

Oh dear that's a very eventful start to the year - but not the kind of eventful you'd want. Your poor DH. Hope he's not feeling too sore. What an awful thing to happen. I was thinking how lovely your village party sounded on your post yesterday. What a pity it was spoilt in such a horrible way. I don't envy you spending the night in a and e at all. I think it can leave you feeling quite traumatised as well as exhausted because they are always so busy and so many people are waiting and suffering. I hope you're both ok and have some time to rest. An early night tonight and onwards and upwards for the rest of 2024. Take care x