I’m autistic and I struggle to make friends or get hired. My counsellor suggested I have low self esteem and it’s preventing me from trying to make friends or apply for jobs. She told me to write down my good qualities, and to ask people who know me what my good qualities are.
So I asked my mother what are my good qualities? She said none - you’re a whinger and a terrible housewife and I can’t even say you have a good personality because you don’t really. Then she felt guilty and said well I suppose you’re very clever and you love your kids.
Then I asked DH, who said I’m very clever and logical and work to a high standard. But he looked at the long list of positive personal qualities provided by my counsellor and he couldn’t say that any of them apply to me. He even crossed off some positive qualities that I had written down about myself. I said why did you marry me then? He said because you used to be pretty.
Finally I asked my father. He said I’m very clever and organised. But again he couldn't list any good personal qualities. I said why do you like me then? He said because you’re my flesh and blood.
So basically this has just confirmed that I’m an awful person and this is why nobody wants to be my friend or hire me. If my own parents and husband can’t say anything positive about me then what chance do I have.