Can't see a way out

[Ilovedogs1]

Literally that. I am plagued by intrusive thoughts constantly anxiety through the roof feel so depressed. The only relief I get is sleep when I've taken a diazepam..
I feel an absolute let down to my family.
Suicidal thoughts getting much more frequent. I dont want to actually die but atm I just can't see a way out of this hell.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this.

You are not alone and I'm certain your loved ones don't think you are a let down.

Our family has lost a loved one to suicide- they truly thought it was the best thing to do and yet those of us left behind wish every day they had spoken up to anyone so they could be helped to see how loved they were and the there was nothing we couldn't sort out together. Your loved ones will feel the same I'm certain.

It sounds like you have seen a gp for help sleeping? Call them this morning and tell them about how hopeless you are feeling. Tell them about the intrusive thoughts. If you can't get to a GP then access other services like your hospital or if you have young children you may have a health visitor you can call who will be able to help you get to the right teams.

You can also call on your family and friends - there is no shame in how you are feeling. Many people go through this. Just please ask for some help - it's out there and I promise you the world on the other side of it is worth fighting for.

Sending you love x

@Ilovedogs1 please know this will pass...it really will.

Please call you gp, and make sure the receptionist knows how you feel.

Sending you love also.

However bad something feels today in a week a month or maybe a year or wont feel as bad. You dont want to die you just said that you want to live but living hurts right now that's okay. Dont focus on that focus on small things. Can you get up today eat breakfast maybe. Try and reach out to your GP smaritans a friend family anyone. Just that touch of contact might be the first step to things not feeling quite as bad.

I'm already under CMHT. Things are getting worse not better

samaratins.org are someone to talk to today. It's worth calling GP to ask for help with intrusive thoughts and referral to crisis team for MH assessment. You can feel better and you're not alone. It's OK to have these feelings, you recognise that you want help and you can be helped.