I’ve just made a massive twat of my self at the doctors surgery

[WhatDoWeDo2023]

I’m exhausted
massive panic attack, drove myself to the doctor and collapsed in the waiting room

i think cried massive sobbing tears in the pharmacy, the poor lady cuddled me which made it worse as I’ve not showered in days
i have diazipam and I’m curled up on the sofa with my dog

god knows who saw it all, dreading leaving the house ever again in our small village.

💐💐💐

Other than giving you hugs and diazepam, what help are they providing you with?

(Surprised about the diazepam as I thought it's restricted - are there no better alternatives for you?)

Huge well done for getting yourself to the doctors, did you go for some help? Panic attacks are exhausting and you'll need to get your strength back up now with lots of rest and good food if you can manage it.
I know how this feels and I really admire people who go through the same thing. It would only be embarrassing if the people who saw you thought it was shameful but human beings would only feel empathy for seeing someone in that state. We all know how it feels to be on your knees, crying out for help and not getting what we need.
You're a boss for going through this and still keeping going. You will get better

What do you mean by diazepam is restricted? It can be very useful in certain situations. Obviously not a great long term strategy for all but some people need it.

OP don’t worry about what other people may or may not think. They won’t think much of it at all, just that someone was in distress and they supported you. Can you have a hot bath and a sleep? Always helps.

There are places were crying people do not raise eyebrows. The doctors is definitely one. Also antenatal care places. I read a sad story waiting on an appointment with my midwife and was a sobbing mess by the time I was called, but she said they are used to crying people there. I am sure there are loads.

Just you concentrate on looking after yourself!

@cezannesapple
My surgery would not prescribe more than 6 diazepam tablets at a time, and no refills without a review. As far as I know it's generally only prescribed for very short term use - no more than 4 weeks maximum,

Thank you, I’m very tired.

I literally walked out of work, entered the survey and collapsed in a heap of tears. They were very understanding. Just trying to get over the embarrassment. It feels like it didn’t happen?

It’s just for today to take the edge off
i was teeth chattering, hyperventilating, I thought I was going to pass out and my legs stopped working

its been 4 years since I last felt this low. I literally hate myself right now

alongside the diazipam for today we are going to try hrt. I had a very strong desire to crash my car so I presented myself to the doctors instead (which I’m proud of)

No different to going with a heart issue and fainting, say. You went with a panic attack issue and did an equivalent. If everyone was healthy we would not need surgeries. Mental health is just as valid as physical health and I doubt anyone would think less of someone for fainting.
Hope you get the support you need.

I don't know you and I'm so frigging proud of you. You realised you needed support and you sought it.

Hope you get some rest, food and further help that you need.

Oh OP. Don’t feel embarrassed. You are unwell. Well done for going to the doctor instead of crashing your car. I think lots of us have been there and felt that. Hope you feel better soon 💐💐💐💐💐

I can certainly see that you needed diazepam in this acute situation - that's what it's for. But what is the long term plan? It seems to me that you need much more focused, specific therapy, not just HRT.

What brought on your panic attack and are you receiving any long term treatment for this, both medical and counseling?

That is bloody brilliant,you absolute star ,you knew you were at rock bottom and you got some help .well done .
you did exactly the right thing to do in that situation,I really hope the pills get you through today and tomorrow and your doctor is helpful for the future

Todays last thing to tip me so far is my adult DD being taken hospital for a scan as they have found a benign tumour on the base of her spin. She was having pins and needles in her legs and wet herself.

my middle daughter has a psyco ex boyfriend and we have had to involve the police after her followed her and wrecked her car down an unlit road with her inside it so it’s been a rough few months to say the least.

im already back on antidepressants and they fudged about the doses along with the hrt
I’ll need to arrange my own counselling.

I'm so sorry,@WhatDoWeDo2023 💐💐💐

Look after yourself. I hope you can find a sympathetic counselor.

Please please dont expect anti D to sort this. Go get the Dare panic book and App and work through it. It will absolutely fix your panic. If you need to get help for anxiety from GP get Propranadol - easier to use and takes away the feelings of fear. Go get the book please - it will fix it once you follow it.

Massive pat on the back and a supportive hug from me, for recognising you needed help and accessing that help immediately. You have a lot of stressors in your life and I'm not surprised you had a breakdown. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Hold your head high and be proud of realising you need support.

Sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment OP, well done for getting yourself to the dr and acting on any feelings.

I once absolutely lost it in the Drs reception a few years ago, I felt awful as I was quite rude to them, but I was in such a bad place with a chronic pain condition. Once I had gathered myself a few days later, I went in and apologised and gave them all some posh chocolates. They were very nice to me, and appreciated the apology. I am in no way saying you have anything to apologise for, and you won’t have been the first person to be overwhelmed in there.

Yes, you are all right. I do feel much calmer again now and my DDs are both so brave and strong what with everything they are going through.

im also pleased to finally have someone listen to me about the menopause without offering a fucking blood test.
thank you for the book recommendation, I’ll take a look. I use hypnotherapy apps. at night time already

Do you have a link please?

App here - Download for free with some parts paid - still cheaper than a GP & drugs.www.dareresponse.com/

I found it excellent. I bought it on audible as its easier to absorb,
www.audible.co.uk/pd/Dare-Audiobook/B01ETUCS7Y

Its on Amazon too.

Good Luck

Thank you

Diazepam is a controlled drug and ferociously addictive.
The anxiety from the withdrawal syndrome id literally off the scale grim.
( Had parent addicted to it)

You may have felt like a twat, but no one else will have thought that.

I once went in because I'd got a lingering sore throat. Completely lost my grip and came out with a prescription for Zopiclone. I'm obviously not happy you had a bit of a break down but a lot of us have been there and if it gets you the help you need to get back on track then it's a good thing.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so unwell, try and look after yourself and don't worry about other people. At some point or another we have all done something fairly embarrassing in public!

I do really dislike people giving medical advice on this forum. Nobody has the right to question you or anyone else what medication you have been prescribed by your GP or make any judgements on that.

Take care and rest