I'm so deeply depressed and have been for most of my adult life after suffering from eating disorders for a decade (my eating is fine now). I have been on sertraline for a couple of short periods but never long term.
I am extremely successful at work, have lots of material things and a wonderful DC. But I think frequently about how much I would love to just not be here anymore. I'm still here because of my DC and my parents but not for me, if you see what I mean. Most people would think my life is perfect but I'm just faking it all the time. I just want to be alone and I feel completely disconnected from my partner and have let all my friendships slide away. I'm so lonely and have nobody to turn to. When I've tried, people just want to tell me how wonderful my life is and how much others would want it. Every now and again, the weight of faking feels too much (i can even fool myself sometimes) and I just plunge into a deep depression (but outwardly appear fine).
Does anyone else just live a complete lie all the time?