I can’t cope anymore.

[An0n0mous]

Hello,

I am new to this site, I guess I have joined because I need to reach out myself.
I am really struggling, I’m a single parent of two, if that isn’t stressful enough, the added pressures of this cost of living crisis is just pushing me over the edge.
I don’t have any support, it’s just me and my two children, and I’ll be honest, I don’t know how I’m getting by on a day to day basis.
I’ve reached out to a few different professionals, but still awaiting some actual support. I imagine there is a lot of people needing some extra support in these times, but having to wait whilst feeling so low makes all those dark thoughts more viable by the hour.
I can’t see a way through this, my children deserve so much better than what I can give them. I’ve wrote them letters explaining how Mum just can’t do this any more. I hope one day they will understand, the pressure was just too much.

I’m so sorry to hear how tough things are for you right now 😔 it sounds crap. If it’s financial struggles could you use food bank etc? Churches? There must be some charities that can help you out? I’m sorry I’ve got no idea. I wish I could help you 😣 My heart goes out to you ❤️

OP, please call the Samaritans. Your children deserve their mum. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, but there is a way through - you'll find it.

Are you still chatting to us?

The way through this is one small step at a time. No big decisions, no rash choices in the dark of the night. Just keep your head above the water and keep breathing. The Samaritans number is 116 123.

@An0n0mous

come & chat to us.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way it may not feel like it now but it can and does get better.

As others have pointed out samaritans are amazing.
But if you don't feel like you can actually talk you can text SHOUT to 85258 and they have mental health support over text messages.

Hi. Please please know your Children need YOU! Who would love them like you do? Who would protect them from harm? Who else knows how to tuck them in at night and how they like to snuggle? I grew up in a manic home of 8. Poverty. No tv. No sweets. Nothing. But my parents LOVE me that was so so much important. No one has remembers all the rich stuff, they remember the care they were given. Dont leave your children at the mercy of people who will never ever love them like you do.

SHOUT is a text talk crisis line. Text 85258, tell them how you feel they will reply. MIND will help too. Google hubofhope.co.uk and find help in your local area, just put your postcode in and it will bring all the stuff locally to help.

Then theres foodbanks, community shops. Theres benefits to claim. I can help you look?

If you want to reach out to me, i will send you a shop for the next week to help you through. I can listen. I can help see if you can claim anything/extra.

But, dont let this fucking useless government be the reason you dont carry on. Fight. Fight back. Be strong. I will help you. Others will help you. Let them let us.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Thank you for the words of encouragement, it does mean a lot. I have spoken to Samaritans before.
I just can’t seem to see a way out of all of this anymore, and things are only going to get worse with the cost of living etc.
I don’t even know how I’m going to get my children back to school let alone anything else.
im just not good enough anymore, I’ve been strong for so long, I’m now broken

You CAN do this. You just need to let others in. You say its just you 3. Theres a saying - it takes a whole village to raise the children. So heres mumsnet as your village :-).

I agree - just one step each time. No big picture, just get through the day. The children can use last years uniform. Theres swap shops for uniform in many towns. Local fb sites offering free uniform.
Keep talking. Keep sharing. Know you ARE good enough.

I’ve been trying with one step at a time, for a long time! But you know when you just reach that point of no return? I probably do need to let someone in, this is my feeble attempt at trying to tell someone. I’ve reached out to the professionals I’ve told them how I’m feeling.
I just feel like a little girl all over, lost and scared.
a good mum wouldn’t have left the children now they are in bed to go for a drive, I don’t want to go home 😞

You sound like an amazing woman to me!!! How courages and strong you must be to be raising two children all on your own. Your children have such a wonderful role model to look up to!!!

Go home. Hug your children. Cry. Live. Please. You are a good mum. You dont need to prove you arent. You are. Just know you are enough.

Last year i had counselling. One of of the the things we discussed was my black thoughts. She said its normal to have these tgoughts. Its our brains trying to find a solution, regardless of how stupid it is. My brain was controlling my thoughts and i am learning for me to control my brain. Just a different way of seeing things. She also said we cannot offer ourselves empathy like we can offer others. We simply cannot do it. So when you rationalise this stuff. You arent rationalising it correctly, you brain is making incorrect assumptions. Please dont listen to it, know you can make your own decisions, not the part of your brain that isnt rationalizing correctly.
This knowledge really helped me cope and started looking outside of this situation. Also i started listening to people - like my daughter saying she loves me. I used to dismiss this as her just saying it and not meaning it. I now truly believe she loves me and grateful of her love for me.

However much pain you are feeling your children will feel 100 x more pain being told their mum is gone.

They will be in pain the rest of their lives because of your actions.

That's the reality of suicide.

Please do not do that to them

Be strong for them.

There is always a way to get through this. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Please don't give up OP

TALK

Samaritans
Gp
Mindfulness
Yoga

Mua

Food banks

Friends

Family

Joint a hobby

Make some crafts

focus on the good

I lost my mother at a young age and its affected me my whole life. I am now a mother myself so can see how much children need their mother. Please don't give up. You WILL get through these dark days and come out the otherside, believe in yourself.

I am sorry if I’ve offended anyone explaining how I’m feeling, that was not my intention at all x
Mumofthree, I’m really sorry to hear you’ve experienced dark thoughts too. It’s not a nice place to be, I’m glad you managed to get some counselling and support. Thank you for understanding so well x

My cousin also lost her mum at a young age and has never got over it. It's really messed her up. Please go home to your children. They need you to be strong. This is temporary. You can't see it now but you'll be ok. You need to talk to someone in rl that you trust. Or ring the Samaritans again. Everyone doubts their ability as a parent sometimes. It doesn't mean you are. If you were then you wouldn't even have an awareness. Go home and get some sleep. Tomorrow will seem better.

Hey OP, you haven't offended anyone. Everyone just wants to help and reassure you that you're needed and loved by your children.

You are your children's whole world and no one is offended OP. You can do this, every single person on this thread has faith in you x

We've all felt like this at one point or another, there is no shame in it. You are not alone, and there is so much support here for you, and out there. Just reach out and tell them how you are feeling. People care. They will help.

To your little people you are the world, and they love you just as you are. To them you are perfect. Stay here with them. Please.

Sending you strength and love and light ❤️

Op I have been where you are more than once

It's the depression making you think/feel there's no way out - there's ALWAYS a way out ALWAYS

CALL Samaritans or whoever is available.

1st thing tomorrow call your dr and insist on an emergency appointment this IS a medical emergency

Are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to? Contact the welfare advice team on your local council tomorrow about this too.

Ask for help from local food banks, charities, churches, mosques, synagogues they will want to help you

You are NOT alone and you CAN survive this

Keep breathing in and out. Survive from minute to minute if that's what it takes. Please call Samaritans; your kids need you and won't understand. What you do now either shows them how to get through the tough times or ruins their lives forever. Imagine one was able to survive the death experience and able to see our loved ones from beyond. Fanciful some might say but think about it and please be gentle with yourself. You are loved and needed. Virtual hugs from a stranger wishing you well and caring from afar

You have NOT offended anyone. YOU CAN DO THIS. Make a list of all the things you would like to do in life, big things or small things it doesn't matter. Fold it out it in your bag and when you feel like this get it out and do one of those things. Same with tell long yourself everyday on the mirror that you are amazing. Write down why you are amazing and read it out loud everyday as many times a day as you want. Get a massage or a home face mask. Wash your hair but a new top absolutely anything that will make you feel better about yourself. Treat yourself to a nice tea or a dessert. Watch comedy movies and try and get some sleep, nap in the day if you can. Put yourself first! You are important!

Hello An0n0mous,
Welcome to Mumsnet, we can see that you received some lovely support last night and are hoping that things look a little brighter this morning. We are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way right now.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We do see that you've been in touch with the Samaritans before, but there's the website anyway in case you need to reach for it.
Sending heartfelt love and concern. flowers
MNHQ