I can’t cope anymore.

[An0n0mous]

Hello,

I am new to this site, I guess I have joined because I need to reach out myself.
I am really struggling, I’m a single parent of two, if that isn’t stressful enough, the added pressures of this cost of living crisis is just pushing me over the edge.
I don’t have any support, it’s just me and my two children, and I’ll be honest, I don’t know how I’m getting by on a day to day basis.
I’ve reached out to a few different professionals, but still awaiting some actual support. I imagine there is a lot of people needing some extra support in these times, but having to wait whilst feeling so low makes all those dark thoughts more viable by the hour.
I can’t see a way through this, my children deserve so much better than what I can give them. I’ve wrote them letters explaining how Mum just can’t do this any more. I hope one day they will understand, the pressure was just too much.

Always, always here to listen OP. Don't ever apologise. It's absolutely fantastic you're reaching out, life can be hard and lonely. But it can also be wonderful, and you have two children that I expect believe you're the most wonderful mum on earth. You're not weak, youre not giving up. One day this cloud will lift and when it does, it's worth everything you have to do and get through to feel it ❤
how has today been so far?

Hello, I just wanted to stop by and say a heartfelt thank you to every single one of you who replied last night with words of support/encouragement. Especially Mumofthree. I can’t reply individually to you all at the moment, but please know it really is appreciated.
I am not in a good way at the moment and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate. Dealing with all this on my own whilst trying to still be “Mum” is difficult to say the very least. I don’t have anyone to turn to in real life, it really is just me which is just making this whole situation impossible to sort out right now.
Thank you so much, once again to those who reached out to me I can’t tell you how much it means xx

Hi OP, please know you have one vital quality showing on here...kindness, you sound kind. That is major step one to being a fabulous mother as @Mumofthreeteenagers has said, (and very well) children need most the love from you. There is help out there, and on here. Well done you for reaching out.

Hope you are ok

I'm so glad you replied @An0n0mous I've been thinking of you. Keep chatting to us, I have very few friends in real life and they live miles away. It's got to the point now I'd feel awkward calling them for a chat, but if they needed me I'd be there. I've met some fab online friends here though that I like catching up with on threads and even got a pen pal!

Hi. I am so glad to see you respond and some lovely support for you. Sometimes virtual support is much better than in person because you can reach a wider audience rather than just one person who cant understand how you feel.

If i can help, i am here! So are all the others who have supported you. I am sure people can tell you what works for them and it will allow you the ability to see what can help you. I love the idea of a pen pal!
Also, i know i repeat, but hubofhope.co.uk will show you all the help local to you. Also there is free online cbt (cognitive behaviour therapy) sessions. I downloaded the whole manual and waded through relevant parts as i like to understand the - why - part of whats going on.
I am so glad you went home OP.

Hope you're doing ok OP, have been thinking of you and wishing you well

Hello, thanks everyone ❤️
it’s not been the best time - my thoughts/feelings are all over the place. I’ve not been able to reach out to anyone in real life, I need some help with that.
I hadn’t self harmed for a very long time, the last time I did, I needed a blood transfusion.
Today I relapsed, and I can’t deny it didn’t feel good. I know it’s not the answer. But needs must and all that.
Hoping for some improvement, now the pressure has been released somewhat.

How are you feeling now? Have you been able to reach out for help?

No, I haven’t sorted anything out just trying to get by day bu day. Thank you for asking after me

Hope you are okay. Please know you are not alone, there are a lot of us struggling with mental health issues at the moment. It's hard just getting through the day sometimes isn't it. I've always found support posting on here, hope you find some good support too.

Thank you x

It seems to be just one thing after another.
I know I put myself under a lot of pressure, I always set myself up to fail. I can't seem to do life like everyone else does, it doesn't feel like it's for me. Everything is for everyone else, whilst I sit on the sidelines ready to help someone else.

Yes, I feel exactly the same. I'm a full time carer but I feel like no one cares about me, they all just assume I can cope, it's all about the person I'm caring for and their needs. Then I feel like people/family only contact me when they want something, no one is interested in my problems etc and certainly no one is interested in mental health issues. You have to remind yourself that you deserve help the same as everyone else. That you are worthy of other people's time and attention. Be kind to yourself. You are obviously a caring person but put yourself first for a change, take some time to look after your own needs. I hope that you are okay, please know that you are not alone.

Please be assured that there are a lot of us out there, who put on a "coping" face to the world, but inside we are wondering how we are going to get through the day, it's not just you and you are most certainly not a failure. Always remember that there are people on here who are ready to listen if you have no one IRL to talk to. I've found fantastic support on here, when my husband had his first psychotic episode, I could tell people on here things I couldn't say to family and friends. Then when I had to go for hospital tests, people on here practically held my hand through it all. Please don't be afraid to reach out x

Hugs sweetheart please hang on for your children take gently hour by hour if you have too, others can give much better advice re numbers etc.

I don’t think this is the place for me either.

Counsellors on the bacp website sometimes offer free sessions to people who can not afford to pay. Could you email some who are close by or offer online sessions and see if they would see you for a few sessions? Send them a screenshot of your posts to let them know how you are feeling. You won't be judged and if someone can help I'm sure they will. Sending huge hugs, you can find your way through this xx

This is the place for you. It may feel like it's one thing after another but life only throws things at you that you can handle. YOU CAN DO THIS. You said yourself you set yourself up to fail so there's your problem, nothing you do in life is a failure it is a lesson and you can pick yourself up and go again. Life would be boring if everything was easy. You are strong you are important and you matter. You matter more thank you know. You must believe this!

Thanks!

I guess I have made a few steps in the right direction, I’m on the right road to get a couple of things sorted out. I’m just impatient and want everything sorting overnight to turn this dark switch off. I really do struggle trying to let anyone in, it almost kills me in itself!! No one quite understands just how hard that is for me. Constant argument in my own head, it doesn’t switch off, it’s getting louder and louder and more overpowering.
I have made more effort to stay out of bed, and I’ve decided to take a brick wall down, hoping a lump hammer and smashing time is just what I need.

I’m decluttering here got music, on you tube you’ll get there hugs.

Sounds great. Steps in the right direction is amazing. Smash that wall down and embrace that feeling of achievement. Get some self care on the go too.

Face mask
Lavender on the pillow
Face mask
Breathe. Take some time out of you day to just breathe
There's some good yoga classes on you tube
Singe your heart out it helps
Pour yourself some fun mock tails and get an umbrella in them it's cheap and fun
New pjs and spend a day in them watching comedy
Be kind to yourself

Also you say about this constant argument in your head, might you have ADHD? I have it and honestly I have the same constant chatter in my head. Just might be an avenue to explore

I’m not really sure, it’s not something I’ve thought about. Is that a symptom? I don’t really know what’s wrong with me

There is nothing wrong with you, you are having a hard time. But yes for me a constant chatter in me head is ADHD for me