I need to deal with numb depression. I don't know what I enjoy anymore.
Reach out to mental health services?
But I've such a dark view of therapists - they all seem to be very badly portrayed on TV. But even in real life I don't think I know anyone who has truly raved to me about their transformative therapists. They seem just very expensive friends who have read lots of psychology books and honestly lots of people don't seem to be that much better off after that, still stuck in same pattern.
I don't want to commute once per 2 weeks with a stranger for only 1 hr chat. I just want someone who's got my back and re-program my thinking right there when I have emotional crisis moments.
Does this kind of help even exist?