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Original poster

Need cheering up :(

91 replies

sparkler1 · 26/11/2004 12:27

Really could do with some cheering up right now. Step dad has been in hospital for about a week - ongoing problems with bronchitis. He had a bad turn the other night and is now in the high dependancy unit. We just thought that he would pull through and would just carry on as before. Mum went to visit him last night and was taken to a room and told that he was pretty bad and that if anything was to happen that they probably wouldn't try and resus him. This has really shocked us all and we are all feeling really numb right now. Staff have told us to take things day by day.

OP posts:
Donbean · 29/11/2004 19:06

Can i just add Sparkler, that now might be the time to persuade DM to relax a bit.
If DSD is sitting up in a chair through the day, come the evening he will be exhausted and will probably appreciate time to rest and recoup his energy. Visiting time can be exhausting to people who have been so poorly.
Try to persuade DM to have an early night, catch up on her sleep as much as possible.
I know that things are looking better, but none of you will fully relax until he is back home with you all, that is the next thing to look forward to x

Donbean · 29/11/2004 19:08

OOOh Nailpolish, i may be forced to be very unprofessional if we get nursey!!!!!
I posted a message to you in the "why do you do your job" thread, did you get it?

Original poster
sparkler1 · 29/11/2004 22:14

Thanks for your kind words again. DSD is definitely not on the road to recovery. I don't think things are going to go that way now. DM went to visit him this morning and he didn't seem too bad. They have now moved him to the normal ward and tonight he seemed quite tired. He is becoming very shaky even having trouble feeding himself this evening. DM is very emotional tonight and has been looking into every little thing very negatively. We have tried to talk to her kindly but firmly to say that she really needs to slow herself down a bit and try not to get herself worked up as much as she is, even though it is difficult. A night of sleep, although maybe little, will help everyone and we shall review the situation in the morning.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 29/11/2004 22:24

sparkler, sorry if i was a bit overactive with the happy post. im always the optimist. dont know what to say now, just hugs to you andyour family xx

Original poster
sparkler1 · 29/11/2004 22:26

Sorry nailpolish - I did wonder if message sounded abrupt when i posted it - wasn't meant to be that way honest . I know you meant well. x

OP posts:
nailpolish · 29/11/2004 22:39

small hijack

saw your post that you mentioned donbean but cant see message?

are you nhs or agency or bank?

Original poster
sparkler1 · 29/11/2004 22:59

Oooh nailpolish are you okay??

OP posts:
Donbean · 30/11/2004 09:50

Sparkler, DSD may be shaky for a number of reasons, this may be part and parcel of the recovery.
As i previously posted, simply sitting out in a chair for periods of time will exhaust him. People are always amazed at how tired they become so very quickly after a period of illness. Addittionally this will be extreamely taxing on his reserves of strength and ability to "bounce back". Given that he is only eating small amounts he will have very limited strength naturally.
Accept that some days will be bad and other days ok, and that this is a long road that you are all travelling. There are no short cuts to get to where he is going, be that recovery or peace.
My thoughts are with you, you are very very brave.xx

Donbean · 30/11/2004 10:00

Nailpolish, im NHS.

Original poster
sparkler1 · 30/11/2004 11:37

Thanks Donbean. I hope nailpolish was okay - she never came back! whoops.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 30/11/2004 13:02

here i am

im fine just embarrassed that i prob said wrong to you earlier sparkler!

what are the nurses saying to you now spark about dsd?

Donbean · 30/11/2004 13:22

Have you been this morning Sparkler?
Hows things?

Original poster
sparkler1 · 30/11/2004 13:25

Ah - I'm glad you came back . Was worried about you. Please don't feel embarassed. What you said was fine - exactly what I needed to hear. I chose my words badly but really didn't mean it to sound like it did. DM is at the hospital now so haven't had today's report as yet. All I know is that he had a fairly good night. I feel shattered today though. I have so much to do at home but can't get motivated to do it. Too busy waiting for phone to ring to get stuck into anything. Just passing time away on MN instead!

OP posts:
Donbean · 30/11/2004 13:28

Sorry Sparkler, ive been going on about DM and should have been saying that the same advice goes for you. Look after yourself, eat well and try to get sleep.x

Original poster
sparkler1 · 30/11/2004 13:31

Am managing to sleep okay at night. Think it's just all so emotionally draining seeing DM so upset all the time. Running out of words to comfort her now just giving lots of hugs instead and lending a good ear.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 30/11/2004 13:31

dont worry about the bloody house that can wait. i understand the shattered feeling -not just physically but its mentally draining too. has your dm had a day off herself? hope dsd has had a good night and hope mn cheers you up a wee bit!

Original poster
sparkler1 · 30/11/2004 13:32

BTW - don't worry about me not eating. That's never been a problem to me!!

OP posts:
Donbean · 30/11/2004 13:32

Heheheheh! thats my girl

Original poster
sparkler1 · 30/11/2004 13:33

DM said last night she was going to leave the morning visit but she woke up this morning saying that she was going to go. Can't really stop her.

OP posts:
Donbean · 30/11/2004 19:16

hows things tonight?

Original poster
sparkler1 · 01/12/2004 21:52

Pretty much the same although DSD is getting more and more impatient. DM has felt really hungry this evening for the first time in days so that's a good thing. I have had a night off from visiting tonight and have spent time with DDs bathing them and reading to them. It was really nice as I have hardly been around this week to even say goodnight to them properly. Have got dh's xmas work do on Friday night. Am a little worried about it as it isn't a local venue and I won't be on the doorstep if I am needed. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I keep thinking I shouldn't be going out partying when family is in this situation.

OP posts:
Donbean · 02/12/2004 08:56

When you say that he is impatient, do you mean to get home or in general?
Is he still on oxygen and is his breathlesness any worse/better.
How much is he doing? eg is he able to get to the bathroom etc.
Lots of questions, sorry. Just interested thats all. x

Original poster
sparkler1 · 02/12/2004 10:07

Hi Donbean. He is getting impatient as he can't do very much. He can't even walk to the end of his bed as he is so weak. It's been a real week of emotions. Not even sure how I'm feeling today. We so thought things were going to turn for those worst days ago and here we are still waiting.

OP posts:
Original poster
sparkler1 · 02/12/2004 10:09

Yes he is still on the oxygen all the time. Can't see he will ever be without it. I am still secretly hoping that he will be here for Christmas and that dm will make a decision to have him home if it becomes an option. It's very possible that he won't be able to come home again. It's just waiting for everything and that's the hard bit and very tiring.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 02/12/2004 10:44

hi sparkler.

without seeing your dsd its hard to say whether he would be able to go at xmas or not, but i have on occasions see some people going home for a few hours on xmas day. but there are few things you need to consider such as - are you happy to have oxygen in the house? the hospital might have to send dsd out with a tank of oxygen and it can be a worry for a lot of people. do you get worried thinking about what to do if gets into difficulties with breathing, for example? do you have a downstairs toilet? is the house too small to wheel and wheelchair round?

none of these things or all of these things may apply to dsd, it is after all a few more weeks til xmas day and these can change.

i hope i havent offended (again!) by chatting about things that dont apply to dsd.

the hospital if it thinks it is appropriate should certainly consider a few hours pass to dsd. maybe you should mention it to them next time you go in, as it is on your mind, and they will then know that you are considering it.

has dm or dsd mentioned it yet?