Parent and carers of anxious teens(part 6)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Another thread full!!
For anyone new,these threads started as my D's had crippling anxiety in year 8( and was later diagnosed ASD)now about to start 6th form in September we have been running this quite a while!
This is a safe space to discuss the overwhelm that can engulf us,seek advice and find friendship with others in a similar position.
Please note this is a non judgemental space and respect and care of each other is at the centre of what we are here for.
Whether you want to vent and run,or hang around a while,welcome!

Sorry you've had a long day Bounce.

Hope you had a better day @okisenough

Fingers crossed we all get a restful night's sleep and tomorrow brings us all good things and very little stress

Thanks @1bounceforward2back

My GP chat was very helpful and we have another appointment on Monday.

Goodnight and restful sleep to everyone.

Hope your long day ended with some decent rest bounce
How's everyone's DC with cold/snow?
Lil zoo NOT a fan,dd2 like an excited preschooler running around and wanting tread in every untouched bit....
Well Prozac really not working for us,up til 2am depressions nosediving and I'm getting worried.time to consult with g.p I think☹️

DS1 hates the cold and snow and wind, rain, thunder, lightning, heat, basically most types of weather. He is grumpy. DS2&3 love it though.

Bounce your DS 1 sounds like my DD who is 19, she is getting a slightly more tolerant as she gets older!
We only had a light covering of snow midweek then it started to rain and disappeared by midday , so DD 15 was disappointed as she loves snow.
DD15 MH has taken a nose dive this week, she had a wonderful time with an old school friend on Monday came home buzzing, then she crashed on Tuesday and 4 days later she is still shut down and silent. Hard to know what's going on, If she's seen something unkind on SM, if she's worried about upcoming gcse, if shes feeling lonely/ left behind , or if Monday just exhausted her. But basically she's unable to communicate or identify why she's so low- although she may not know herself and there might not be a tangible reason. But it's hard to see, I must admit I think is this how it will be for rest of her life, will she ever cope with " normal" levels of every day life.

runner that's very hard for her(and you to see)💐
Bounceif only weather was a single constant type and temperature!

Doc was helpful yesterday he offered 2days sleeping pills give her some sleep and a break from her own head. stop prozac immediately as was becoming major safety concern.we now have a "free" week then can try another one if she's up to it ..tbh she's terrified but we shall have to see.im hoping her mood lifts a little now prozacs stopped as I'm scared for her.ive been v poorly with depression myself and it's horrid.
She was anxious about sleeping pills but we had a cuddle after she took one and was asleep in twenty minutes.that was at 1045(so asleep 1105) and she's still snoring currently!going to just leave her til wakes naturally.
DS had bad headache we'd/Thursday so I kept him home,then said he could have Friday too as blizzard was blowing.last night he text me can barely see with swirling patterns so migraine setting in I fear.think he's so worried about things,esp school,he's setting himself into a pattern☹️

Zoo,so pleased DD2 had a good nights sleep, I hope you did too. Keeping everything crossed for changeover of meds ,I know it's a worrying time.
Hopefully DS will be ok next week and it won't become a pattern, hope you all have a relaxing calm weekend.
I'm about to start the housework, dont know why housework gives me rage but it does- I hate housework!! ( and I'm crap at it!)

Tonight I just feel sad. Just that really. I feel sad that I can't just fix things with a cup of tea, a hug, some wise words and a piece of cake. Tomorrow we see the GP again and that's positive but right now I just feel sad. Anyway, bed now and better feelings tomorrow hopefully.

@okisenough
Sorry you were feeling so low last night, it often hits you worse at night. I hope today is better.

Gentle hugs for anyone feeling low right now, I know how difficult it is when your own MH isn’t the best then you’re trying to deal with your DC as well. My own health isn’t great right now and I’m having a hard time at work plus poor DD1 it’s all too much sometimes. Still haven’t gotten her to the GP yet, she is also so thin, frail and white I’ve bought her iron and vitamin D tablets she doesn’t take them though. She doesn’t care about her appearance either which is typical

ok how did the GP trip go?I hope it was helpful and has at least given you some hope to cling to
Kitty it's hard when you can only offer advise/supplements but can't enforce anything anymore💐
Runner how are you doing?
Bounce hope things are ticking over ok.

We found out today dd2 hasn't got to do final assessments which is a relief.we are now off sleep meds,so precarious sleeping has returned -sunday night huge panic attack had her up at 2,with me, and when she nodded off again near 4 I was too wired so only ended up with 3hours sleep.made for a VERY long day!

Today we took a very short train ride to Milton Keynes for a change of scenery.she bought Percy pig picnic dinner set for herself and was happy flapping every time look at it on way home❤️

Minor breakdown trying sort some coursework,together we have sent email asking for pointers to English teacher as needs reduce an essay by 700 words apparently,and if content of her second piece is appropriate for the detail given which has at least felt a bit productive

DS still coming home miserable without solid certified work to do bar maths and lots staff discussing how miserable they are there....

Poor health/mental health makes this job of parenting much harder.im trying hard to schedule in importance of minimum amounts sleep and regular eating but it is very hard to implement

@sweetkitty , sending a gentle hug back, it's so hard caring for a child who is struggling and it definitely can take a toll on our own health. I'm sorry work is hard right now too.

Zoo , pleased pressure is off DD2 for assignments.
Prioritising sleep is much needed,fingers crossed for you.

All calm here atm. DD managed tuition today, have CAMHS appointment tomorrow.
Had a day off work today, caught up with jobs round house and didn't get as much as I hoped but actually a relief not to be in work.
Saw a friend last night who had done an online autism indicator test and scored highly, so I did it too and was also over threshold for diagnosis. Clearly only a indication but food for thought, sometimes I wonder if I should pursue a diagnosis to stand in solidarity with my girls. Then I think would I disclose it to work... probably not, so why would I expect my girls to share with school/ uni etc.
Anyway I'm rambling!

OK I hope the GP appt went OK.

Zoo can you ask for melatonin or something else that DD2 can take longer term to help with her sleep.

Runner I’m glad things were calmer today than last week. I don’t know whether I have mentioned it under this name but I have a diagnosis of autism. I sought an assessment following DD2 and DS3 being diagnosed. DS2 was also assessed for ASD and ADHD but he is apparently NT. I am dubious as is the SENCO and he is awaiting reassessment. DS1, my most complex DC, doesn’t have ASD. We suspect DH also has ASD and he is thinking about an assessment.

DS3 didn’t have a good day at school. He didn’t attend any lessons instead spent time with his 1:1s. I don’t know whether it is partly due to the strike disruption tomorrow and Thursday.

Sadly GP appointment has been rescheduled for next week which is not ideal but nothing to be done, he has covid! Yesterday was ok but today was not so great, DD didn't have a great day at school, nothing really happened she just finds everything so stressful and tiring which makes her even more stressed and anxious. The GP appointment is about meds which might help her deal with things. I have my fingers crossed it will help. I am wondering whether it is worth looking for a therapist for her to see. At the last appointment, GP told us the likelihood of the NHS providing anything was low so that is something else I need to find the money for but I feel like I need some help as things are not getting any better and I don't really know what to do.

Sending hugs to all of you and thanks for your kind words. Wishing everyone a restful night's sleep.

Wishing my MN friends across the pond a lovely Mother’s Day today.
I’m sorry so many are going through difficult times. I truly understand and am thinking of you. Sending you all huge hugs. xx

Thank you @vikingwoman Sending a hug right back.
Hope everyones had a good mothers day. After a bit of juggling- my mum with dementia and anxious autistic teens- Ive had a good day, nice walk followed by meal out 😊

Lovely to hear from you viking and to think of us❤️please keep in touch(and my PM is always open🥰🥰🥰)
Runner sounds like a lovely day.dd2 bought me loads little bits now she has pip(can't seem to grasp one thing would've been enough but I'm very touched by her choices)she took D's to Asda and came back with his offering if some chocolate and a planter with mini pink roses.lil zoo doesn't do gifts full stop as nothing ever meets her exacting standards!
Best of all I got time with everyone,D's opt share a studio ghibli film,lil zoo playing her guitar and showing me music she loves and dd2 was the usual 2hour night walk(which are starting to get way too much..dinner was at 9 for D's and lil zoo,10 for us last night)
Today trying get her decide if we are go ahead with try another option -metrazopine(sp?)

Viking lovely to hear from you.

OK I hope the GP appointment this week is helpful. Have you considered applying for PIP?

Zoo is it mirtazapine? That is what DS1 takes.

Bounce that's the one I think!(makes you sleepy a big side effect?)as it happens g.p is off I'll and dd2 won't accept from anyone else so we will be waiting for his return to work.

Have meet school on Wednesday regard lil zoo non attendance...

Mirtazapine makes many people sleepy and often increases appetite. Sadly not DS1 which is just typical when they would both be welcome side effects. Fortunately though it does help more than the 3 other types of ADs he tried.

Good luck with the meeting.

Hi everyone
My dd15 is suffering with anxiety and is struggling with school ans has to leave lessons a lot. She is receiving some private counselling (MH services have no resource, waited 9 months). I'm aware that at her age GP will be reluctant to prescribe SSRIs and was wondering if she could try Kalms?
Conflicting advice on internet regarding age but it seems it's due to no data more than anything.
Thanks

Welcome @cleowasmycat

Sorry no advice re Kalms, I know when I went I to Holland and Barrett for DD they said a lot of those medications weren't suitable for under 18s but can't remember if Kalms was one of them- just know I left empty handed.
SSRIs also aren't licenced for under 18s which is why GPs usually refuse to prescribe, it should be done by a child and adolescent psychiatrist, we sourced a private psychiatrist to get the correct support including medication for DD as CAMHS waiting list was so long and we were desperate.
We've used Bach flower remedy before but tbh this is fairly lightweight.
I hope your DDs anxiety improves and she gets the support she needs.
Are school making any adjustments? For example a quiet space for her to go to if overwhelmed.
Have any diagnosis been considered? ADHD and autism.often go undetected in girls and go hand in hand with anxiety that usually rears its head in secondary school , might be worth reading up on.
I would keep everything low demand and step back a bit to remove any pressure and to try and prevent things escalating.

hello @cleowasmycat sorry to hear about your dd. Sounds similar to my dd17. I did try kalms with her and it did not agree with her, she seemed to get all the side effects and I threw away the bottle the next day. We are in the middle of discussing getting beta blockers with the GP, at the last meeting, he sent my dd away to 'think about it', and we are now waiting for another phone call to actually get the prescription. Has your GP mentioned them to you? I think they deal more with the physical symptoms of anxiety but along with counselling, it might be enough to help her cope day-to-day.

I hope everyone is ok and @Stilllivinginazoo hope the meeting went well.

My dd is having a trial session with the counsellor/therapist we have found. Fingers crossed she finds her helpful and supportive.

Welcome, @cleowasmycat. I can’t help with Kalms. I agree with Runner about considering ASD and/or ADHD. The school should be providing support, are they? Fluoxetine is licensed for use for depression in over 8s but NICE guidelines state they should only be started following assessment by a child and adolescent psychiatrist. Sertraline isn’t licensed for use for depression in children and young people but is sometimes used and is licensed for use in OCD in those over 6.

Zoo I hope your meeting went OK.

OK I hope the trial goes well.

How is everyone??

I had letter from LA inviting us to a combined phase transfer/ annual review meeting for DDs EHCP during Easter holidays.
I've asked to postpone because they say they need any reports 2 weeks before meeting date which only gave us a week to submit and our SALT and OT can't work that quickly- they also work term time only.
I am now panicking a bit that LA may try and take eotas away or downgrade DDs package.
Does anyone have any advice or experience on AR/ phase transfer??